Confused?

[foxythepirate01]

Hi I’m just looking for some advice and to get this off my chest, not exactly sure if this is the right place to put it or the right way to write this but this is as much as i can remember. 

September 2025

My mate Shaun had a birthday party. I arrived late when everyone had already been drinking. I started talking to a girl named Connie, and we ended up getting together. We weren’t very close and argued a lot. She had mental health struggles, and I didn’t handle them well. We eventually broke up. I felt upset but not suicidal. During that time, I spoke a lot to her friend Maddie, who supported me.

October–November 2025

Maddie and I became very close and best friends. I developed feelings for her, told her, and we started a relationship. It felt genuine and supportive, unlike my previous one. We spent a lot of time talking and helped each other, especially when she was overthinking.

December 2025

We started seeing each other outside of school, often secretly. After her dad found out, she was grounded. Around this time, I began feeling depressed, numb, and had frequent suicidal thoughts, though I didn’t act on them.

January 2026

Her parents forced us to break up and didn’t want us talking. We stayed in contact briefly, but it was confusing because she sometimes acted like we were still together. My mental health worsened, and I kept breaking down. I asked for space, but she kept contacting me, which made things worse, so I cut her off completely.

February 2026

We had no contact. I found out Shaun and Maddie were talking behind my back. This hurt a lot, especially because they dismissed my feelings and told me to “get over it.” I felt confused and didn’t know what to do.

December 2025 to February 2026

During this time, I had daily suicidal thoughts and made several attempts but didn’t go through with them.

March 2026

I’ve distanced myself from my mates and taken time alone to get space. I still feel confused about my emotions and who I am, but I’m trying to cope, find comfort in small things, and take things one day at a time.

I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to do because my mates are trying to get me to talk to Shaun again and I just can’t bring myself to do it. Everyday is blurring together it feels like. Close to giving up man I’m sorry

[Gypsy_Mama]

Firstly, you’re very brave. Although it may not feel as though you are. You certainly are. 

Im not sure how old you are but you sounds to be young and jus out of high school? That time is tough and there’s so many mixed emotions and feelings plus it’s a small world compared to the outside world but feels like your entire world right now. 

when I was in high school and just left everyone was dating and sleeping with others and it got so overwhelming because I wasn’t that I ended up running to the guidance officers room and getting the first apprenticeship I could to get me out of there at least 1 day a week. When I left people started clubbing and most of the girls went home with guys. Not me, just wasn’t what I wanted to I left that friendship group.

removing myself from the scene and having something else to focus on like my job, gym, saving money was really helpful and made me strive towards a goal and be apart of the bigger world outside of there.

in regards to chatting to that mate. I can honestly say and most people would who have been in high school, got out, married, had kids ect. This time in your life is about finding out what you don’t like. It’s trying things and saying yes or no and then storing that in the box that makes you, you. 

If your mate is a mate he will come to you and see that you’re hurting. Hardest part if he doesn’t come to you, you move on and wish him well and any others who have wronged you. There’s a friend for a reason, season and a lifetime.

as you get older you become more selective on who you wish to have in your tribe.

Biggest take- learn to love yourself . Sounds so easy right?! It’s so hard and you must do the work everyday and it’s never linear it’s a roller coaster but I can assure you as someone who has struggled - you are enough just as you are and there will be people who will light that up inside you. You do you and they will appear when it’s time.

Be kind to yourself 

[M-aggie]

Hi there, 

Firstly, I want to say that what you are going through is rough and you are absolutely right to come here and talk about it, I hope you have some people you can talk to, it sounds like you might be in High School in which case you might like to reach out to guidance counsellors to help you manage your workload while dealing with these issues. 

If you wanted to you should try to make some new friends, having a handful of people you can rely on to cheer you up has really helped me while I am in dark places with mental health issues.

[therising]

Hi foxythepirate01

Sometimes it's important to take a step back from people we know, so as to make greater sense of things. It can be about making greater sense of what the feelings are that we're experiencing, making greater sense of other people's actions or nature, making greater sense of the way forward etc etc. It can also be important to find others who can help us make greater sense of everything. While there are some things we can make sense of alone, there are other things where it helps to have people to 'fast track' us to becoming more conscious of things. For myself, there have been times where it's taken me weeks or months to make greater sense of something and there have been times where someone's offered a revelation that, in an instant, has suddenly fast tracked me way further down my path in life than I could have imagined. 

I'm wondering whether there's a possibility that you're more of a 'feeler' than a lot of the people around you in your life right now. When people can't feel the impact of the words they say to us, such as 'get over it', you gotta wonder why they can't feel that. When you feel a strong connection to someone but others don't feel or sense that connection you have, that's something else to wonder about. When people can't feel our need for space or even wonder about why we may have that need, that's another thing to wonder about. It can definitely feel pretty lonely at times, when we're the only one deeply feeling and deeply wondering. Also, when we're the only one going deep in such ways, everyone else can appear a little shallow. I'm wondering whether you're sensing a little shallowness from others right now and you're finding that challenging in some ways.

I'm also wondering about whether you've considered any new practices that can help break up the days, so that life doesn't have that 'blurring together' feel to it. Could also involve perhaps reintroducing an old practice that used to work for you. Whether you end a day or period of time by writing about what you're thinking and feeling, it could be a matter of 'Now that I've reflected, I'll start the next period of time with a slightly more informed outlook' or 'Now that I've had a shower and washed off the muck from today or yesterday, I'll try and begin with a fresh view (of something in particular)'. Whatever the practice involves, what you say to yourself at the end of that practice is like an exclamation mark. It marks the end of a period of hours. Does your daily structure include anything (apart from sleeping) that consciously separates one day from another? Perhaps part of the challenge is to reform your daily structure in some way that actually marks breaks you can feel.