I hate humanity

[StephD]

Is this just depression or am I right to feel this way?

I hate humanity because I get pushed out of the way by selfish business men trying to board the train before me so they can get a seat.

Because I was insulted and teased by strangers on the streets for being overweight and now being accused of a drug addict or told to eat more food because I worked hard to lose the weight and am now apparently too thin (I'm not).

Because women on three occasions have thrown drinks at me from their car window and have shouted abuse. Even though I hate my body, and was a virgin when the events happened.

Because I fianally worked up the courage to wear a dress for the first time and a man spat at me for wearing a dress. It was below my knees and I was wearing a jumper.

And because a man once punched me in the shoulder because I walked too close to him.

Because I feel lonely and other women walk past me giving me narky looks.

Because I'm socially akward and people assume I'm dumb and condescend.

 Because a man once asked me if I was a prostitute while I was waiting for a bus. I know it sounds like I underdress but I don't.

Because I dated a narcissistic man for six years who took all my money and my self respect.

Because I survived high school not being seriously bullied but had my self esteem damaged by my mum when she was going through her mid kife crises and started to call me flthunder thighs before I even started gaining weight.

Do I menifest this behavior from others because I don't love myself or something? Does anyone go through what I go through?

 I also hate the way people judge others in such a small minded way.

 I hate that people stare at their iphones all the time.

 I hate that they're addicted to technology.

I hate that they take too many selfies and are self absorbed.

 I hate that they all follow trends no metter how ridiculous.

I hate that people throw around mental illness and disorders like OCD, depression, bi polar, adhd, etc like they're meaningless adjectives. "I'm tots OCD because I'm so neat".

I hate that people are fake to impress others.

I hate that people are selfish in general.

I hate people who use a instead of an.That's just my OCD.

I know that there are diamonds in the rough. I wish there were more good people than there are bad.

 I don't want to hate humanity. I want to have fun in life.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Steph

Your post has made me want to reply to you.

The “h” word that you so readily use must have you emotionally worn out and exhausted.  That is a big list and I bet you possibly left some things off.  It’s not a word that I like to use and if by accident I use it, I will rearrange what I said to being, “I dislike … “;   to me it just feels less and not so raging and, dare I say it, hateful.

But as you know, we’re all welcome to express things exactly how we want too and it’s good that you’ve created this post.  Did you feel a little lighter on your shoulders for posting it?

Personally I don’t hate humanity … I just don’t like humans all that much.  Ok ok, I’m kidding – but yes, there a lot of human traits that do get irritating.  Pushing to get on board a train, yes that’s just wrong.  It’s a bit like at an airport queueing up to get on or off a plane.  Getting on – we’ve all got allocated seats, they’re not going anywhere.  Getting off – if you’ve got baggage, the quicker you get off the plane, the longer you’ve gotta wait at the carousel.  Things like that amaze me.

Technology and people’s phones – oh boy, yes that’s one that gets to me also.  Watching two people out to dinner and both of them pressing buttons on their phone – possibly to their significant other half, while they’re having dinner with their ‘affair’.  Ok, I’ve watched one too many soaps, but you get the idea.

With your Mum saying those awful things to you, that’s just damn well wrong and that would have a significant impact – especially when spoken by your Mum.

That boyfriend of yours with his domineering ways … and how they took your money and self-respect.  Why are there people out there like that?  I just don’t understand it.

Steph, there are good people in the world – and there are an enormous amount of them on this website.  I hope you can hang around and post more, you’ll soon find the quality of people here.

Neil

[blondguy]

Hi Steph

I do think you have great strength to get on here and say what is bugging you Steph and being a free country that doesnt control what you say...no worries..

Neil has really given some great advice here...Especially about people....Yes sure they can be a pain...but the good people always outweigh the bad...There are many people that are kind and do care. This site is a great place which has many understanding and kind people...

You of course are okay to speak your mind...no worries. The word hate is a real pain for me as a carer...I am really sorry that you feel that way. I dont even think I have typed in the H word anywhere for many years...It just crushes my soul to even read it...however it is your right to speak your mind..and thats okay...

If you wish write back to us...We are here for you StephD

I do hope your weekend is good to you

Paul

[JessF]

Hello Steph, the things that happen in life will shape how we feel. The more bad things that happen, the more we can start expecting them to happen. And then we start seeing the world entirely through that lens. It's like the opposite of rose coloured glasses.

I think your challenge is one that many of us face: how to accept and grieve for the horrible things that have happened to us in our past, but to try not to let those past events shape our future.

A positive attitude alone won't change your life or fix all your problems, but being more aware of your thoughts and where your "hate" is coming from can.  When you next experience the feeling of "hating humanity", ask yourself where that is coming from.  Is the entire human race worthless because of the single event that has just happened to you?  Is the event happening to you upsetting you because it is genuinely upsetting, or is it triggering an unpleasant memory from your past?  These are all important questions because it will shape how you react in that situation, and how you react in that moment carries with it the opportunity to make things better, or worse, every day.

[white knight]

Hi Steph, welcome

In life it could be said that its wise to have short, medium and long plans. So, in my 20's I set about making them in a general sense.

My short term plan was- to find love and start a family

My medium plan was - to move to the country because I too disliked humans and had spent a few years as a prison officer and didn't like the violent end of society. My time in the prisons was etched in my mind.

My long term plan was to run my own business because I wasn't capable due to illness to work harmoniously under a boss.

As we come across the realisation that we have pet hates or we cant fit into a section of society, then we have to find answers and some answers involve our own decisions. We cant rely on professional medical people for various reasons. eg cost, time allocated i.e. only one hour durations and availability.  So we need to be resourceful and gain knowledge...like going on this forum and putting your story to us for opinions.

So, you know your "hate" in deep for many things about people. People can be hurtful, manipulative, self absorbed, cruel, cunning, and so on. They can also be kind, caring, etc...just look a the average nurse...he/she entered the profession not to just empty bed pans but to care for anyone and everyone.

My wife and I have a interest in injured animals. We are constantly taking them to the local refuge after being found on a road in the country here. In fact in many ways we prefer to connect with animals rather than people. So what am I saying? There is a balance to be found to keep distance from the masses yet keep  a number of people in your life as a necessity for daily living.

p.s. In 1977 I hopped on my motorcycle and headed for the mountains of Victoria. My plan- anything as long as I had no people in my life. I'd live off the land, fish, catch rabbits etc. I lasted 5 days. I ran out of baked beans. I couldn't catch rabbits not hook one fish. I proved to myself I needed people in my life to work so as to provide the basics of living. I eventually found my 'balance'...

Tony WK

[Janksie]

Dear Steph, 

you have been given really good advice and support from everyone so far. So I won't add anything more on that, all I would like to say is that I understand and have felt what you are going through.  I have always ' hated' humanity. I hated all my smart, intelligent pretty cousins out there, who have amazing jobs, a free life and a his and who gives them all the attention they want. I hate it when people only pick on my faults not their own,I hate it when people compare and point out that my cooking is not as good as his mother's. Most of all, I hated the man whom I loved with all my heart and then didn't want to keep me, couldn't fight for me, I wasn't good enough I guess.So there have been many instances where I have hated humanity, after all this years after having my child,I love humanity because he is in my life,because he looks at me as though I'm the only one perfect for him, and so ignoring the others, I concern treated only on my son,so  I think Steph, if you can ignore what people say, if you can just look for that one thing that makes you happy, that's all you need to find balance again.

i hope all I have written sounds alright. You are a wonderful person Steph and you have your own personality. Be who you are and love yourself for it 

all the best

[Scott1970]

I agree with pretty much everything you said, StephD.

I don't think there's anything majorly wrong with thinking that way. Some of us (me included) can't see sense in smartphone obsession, Beiber fever and Kardashian following. Maybe you're not a sheep, and dont just randomly "follow", which is a good thing. (Humans tend to think they are the most important things on the planet). Animals, and doing my artwork are what mostly make me happy, along with a few friends who I know are nice people.

[owaf]

Doesn't have to be one or the other, although hate is a strong word to put against everyone.

Do/can you manifest bad people is a more applicable question, short answer is probably not, aholes just exist.

I've been raped, spat on, bashed, saw my mother have a mental breakdown, been broke, homeless, lived in womens shelters (awkward as a male child), been cheated on, laughed at for shaving my head, yada yada but the only person I ended up hating in the end is myself.

The only time I have heard the word "tots" is in mockery of people that use the word or on tv/film.

I bought a fidget spinner, I am sheep hear me roar (baa) but I wanted one so...meh.

I wonder if you would consider me to be a good person.

What is a good person? So tempted to change that to an an >:-)