I feel worthless, hopeless and alone.

[Prisca]

Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm not sure if I'm posting correctly. I feel like nobody in real life cares about me at all. I'm not officially diagnosed with any mental illnesses and I have never been to a GP or a psychologist/therapist before, but I really feel like I must have some form of depression.

All my life I've felt that nobody understands me, not even my family members. They're all happy while I'm sitting here suffering alone. I've recently just lost my only "friends" from high school and now I'm officially alone - no connections, no friends, no one. They hadn't messaged me in over half a year and I had already had a feeling that they might've moved on from me, but nobody mentioned anything out of the ordinary so I just held on to the hope that may one day contact and reach out to me. But I recently saw a picture on Instagram of the three of them hanging out without me... and now that I've seen picture evidence it really hit me. I just feel so abandoned and unbearably lonely. I have plenty of other issues stacked underneath, but this just topped it all off.

I tried to talk to my mum about how I feel, but she never understands me. She would just brush it off by saying that I'm the problem and maybe if I changed myself, people would like me. I'm not sure if this is what a parent should be saying to their child while they're depressed, but it certainly doesn't sound ok. I'm already extremely upset over the problem, but she definitely made it worse. Nobody bothers to listen and understand me. Nobody cares to hear how I feel. Nobody wants to comfort me when I'm depressed. There's nobody there for me, I feel like I only have myself in this world, but I'm even starting to hate myself too. I've come to the conclusion that my existence is probably a burden to everyone and everyone would be happier if I just disappeared. Heck, nobody would even notice if I were gone.

Sorry if I'm not making any sense at all, my mind is all over the place.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Prisca,

Welcome to our forums and thanks for sharing what you are going through. We're so sorry to hear that you are experiencing such distressing thoughts and feelings. We can hear you are feeling alone, left out and misunderstood. We can also hear that you are disappointed in your mother's response to what you've told her about how you are feeling. We hope some of our community members can provide some support and suggestions to help get you through this tricky time.

You mentioned you have not been to a GP or a mental health professional before. Is this something you'd consider given how you've been feeling? Working with the right Mental Health professional is very beneficial when trying to work our way through these complex feelings. We'd also strongly encourage you to contact Kids Helpline counsellors who can be reached 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat  - https://kidshelpline.com.au/  We'd also like to let you know that our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

Please check-in and let us know how you are whenever you feel up to it.
 

[jtjt_4862]

Hi Prisca,

A warm welcome to the forums. You must be really exhausted and terrible for having to feel this way. I'm really sorry to hear that. You're always welcome to share your thoughts, or just have a chat with the members here. The community here is very welcoming and supportive, and you're never alone Prisca. I'm always here to listen to you, and you're never a burden to us.

Is there anything that you'd like to chat about? It can be anything at all. If you're unsure, how about we go with "hobbies", do you have any hobbies that you'd like to share? My hobby is drawing, and I like to draw character illustrations. Some days, I just can't draw at all due to this thing called an "art block". So I just draw random shapes on my sketch book just to keep me occupied anyways.

Jt

[geoff]

Hello Prisca, and a warm welcome to the forums.

When you say nobody understands could only because people don't want to know how upset anybody is, or want to listen to somebody tell of how they are feeling, that's not necessarily their fault, although it doesn't help you if they aren't able to help you by saying 'that I'm the problem and maybe if I changed myself', well even if you try but get knocked back again and again then it's so easy just to give up.

Your existence is certainly not a burden at all, because you want to talk with other people who have been through exactly the same or very similar situations as yourself and even if this is not the case, other people who have or still suffering from any type of depression, understand what you're saying.

It's awful when no one wants to comfort you because if they do, they would partly or fully know what you're struggling with, that's why we're here to help you and would really like to hear more about what else is hidden away within yourself.

All of this matters to us, so take your time and whenever possible please get back to us.

Take care.

Geoff.