Depression

I’ve been getting steadily worse

replies: 1

Tonight I’ve realised I have been drinking consistently (almost every weekend) over the last 6 years. I am 23 so this has been going on since I was around 16-17. recently though, I have realised I have been drinking to get drunk rather than to have a... View more

Tonight I’ve realised I have been drinking consistently (almost every weekend) over the last 6 years. I am 23 so this has been going on since I was around 16-17. recently though, I have realised I have been drinking to get drunk rather than to have a good time. even after 2-3 drinks on what was supposed to be a ‘quiet night’ I have to get really drunk. when I’m out with my friends and we’re not far away from heading home, rather than slowing down I begin to drink faster because I don’t think I’m drunk enough, even after a full night (9pm-4am) drinking. I’ll probably drink 3 more drinks in that hour before we leave just to get myself as drunk as possible before it’s time to go home. i don’t drink during the week but on the weekends I can’t help myself. I can’t remember the last weekend that went by without me contemplating whether or not to get drunk. I have also realised I have had anxiety for a long time. this has steadily been getting worse and is at a point now where I can’t go a day without having an intrusive thought. I have a lot going on in my personal life and I’m very stressed. I’m doing very well in my job. I’ve recently earned myself a promotion, I work full time and I’m studying a Diploma which I am about to finish. this all feels fake to me. I feel as if I have manipulated myself into this position. I feel as if I don’t deserve these successes and that I have faked my way to where I am professionally. I am so sick of this heavy feeling. do you think I could be depressed?

Not happy all the time !!

replies: 2

I donot know from where to start , I been struggling with depression since I was in high school , now am married and got 2 kids , I been crying reasonless , was thinking to commit suicide at some points , the most dramatic part that Amnot happy all t... View more

I donot know from where to start , I been struggling with depression since I was in high school , now am married and got 2 kids , I been crying reasonless , was thinking to commit suicide at some points , the most dramatic part that Amnot happy all the time! Not satisfied or happy or enjoying whatever happened to me !! It kills me really , I feel not interested to for my duties as a mother or wife or even a human being , it kills me really !, and I try hard to hide all this and act like like a good mother and wife as much as I can but still it’s obvious !!! I donot know what can I do. It’s torturing please help me help

I haven't been able to see my boyfriend for 2 years and life feels meaningless.

replies: 4

Since COVID-19 International border close last year in March, I have not been able to meet my boyfriend who lives overseas. We are planning to get married however there is no hope at the end of tunnel. I live in Victoria and lockdowns occur every now... View more

Since COVID-19 International border close last year in March, I have not been able to meet my boyfriend who lives overseas. We are planning to get married however there is no hope at the end of tunnel. I live in Victoria and lockdowns occur every now and then. I have my family, friends around me however the one person who means the world to me, I am not able to see, touch, feel. It is absently torture…an agonising pain which seems to burn every trace of happiness. My life is passing by and my dreams of having a family has no certainty. I miss him dearly. I wish for him daily. My life feels so numb, an endless loop of meaningless days. I wish I could see him. I wish I could just look at him face to face. Its suffocating to live like this.

I feel worthless, hopeless and alone.

replies: 3

Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm not sure if I'm posting correctly. I feel like nobody in real life cares about me at all. I'm not officially diagnosed with any mental illnesses and I have never been to a GP or a psychologist/therapist before, but I ... View more

Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm not sure if I'm posting correctly. I feel like nobody in real life cares about me at all. I'm not officially diagnosed with any mental illnesses and I have never been to a GP or a psychologist/therapist before, but I really feel like I must have some form of depression. All my life I've felt that nobody understands me, not even my family members. They're all happy while I'm sitting here suffering alone. I've recently just lost my only "friends" from high school and now I'm officially alone - no connections, no friends, no one. They hadn't messaged me in over half a year and I had already had a feeling that they might've moved on from me, but nobody mentioned anything out of the ordinary so I just held on to the hope that may one day contact and reach out to me. But I recently saw a picture on Instagram of the three of them hanging out without me... and now that I've seen picture evidence it really hit me. I just feel so abandoned and unbearably lonely. I have plenty of other issues stacked underneath, but this just topped it all off. I tried to talk to my mum about how I feel, but she never understands me. She would just brush it off by saying that I'm the problem and maybe if I changed myself, people would like me. I'm not sure if this is what a parent should be saying to their child while they're depressed, but it certainly doesn't sound ok. I'm already extremely upset over the problem, but she definitely made it worse. Nobody bothers to listen and understand me. Nobody cares to hear how I feel. Nobody wants to comfort me when I'm depressed. There's nobody there for me, I feel like I only have myself in this world, but I'm even starting to hate myself too. I've come to the conclusion that my existence is probably a burden to everyone and everyone would be happier if I just disappeared. Heck, nobody would even notice if I were gone. Sorry if I'm not making any sense at all, my mind is all over the place.

It's all too much, Dog & money problems

replies: 2

I'm thinking I might have to give up my rescued greyhound after he just had a bad run in with my housemate, he growled and barked at him. After breaking up with my ex earlier this year I was desperate to find somewhere ASAP that would allow for pets.... View more

I'm thinking I might have to give up my rescued greyhound after he just had a bad run in with my housemate, he growled and barked at him. After breaking up with my ex earlier this year I was desperate to find somewhere ASAP that would allow for pets. I found this one thankfully but right from the beginning my rescued greyhound had trouble settling in. He would bark at the smallest sound and run up and jump on the housemates he liked. He broke one my housemates pots the other week which upset the housemate. I've been trying to control my dog but it has been really hard. I'm thinking of giving him up for adoption as it's just too stressful but I really don't want to. I can't afford professional training and I have no energy to learn via YouTube. My dog has been good company for me and having to walk him everyday has helped me to keep exercising, all of which has helped with my depression. It is one of the hardest things to consider, giving up my dog. I have asked my ex if he can take him but he can't until Sunday and that would only be temporary. Top this all off with being in lockdown and only having $40 left after buying groceries and putting money aside for rent. I'm an illustrator and just haven't been up to doing much work (I only get paid when I finish the work). When I heard the government was going to give Melbournians financial support I was relieved, only to here him say that those already getting jobseeker won't get any extra assistance. I take medication and I see a counselor but this is all too much to deal with. I'm really struggling. So now I'm back in bed at 5pm watching YouTube.

Does life ever get pleasurable again?

replies: 3

Thanks to anybody who responds. I’m struggling with what I believe is to be depression. I’ve been on several antidepressants for nearly a year along with mood stabilisers for what they think is Bipolar. The last month since I’ve got out of jail I’ve ... View more

Thanks to anybody who responds. I’m struggling with what I believe is to be depression. I’ve been on several antidepressants for nearly a year along with mood stabilisers for what they think is Bipolar. The last month since I’ve got out of jail I’ve become severely depressed and anhedonic to the point that sleeping is more pleasurable than anything I can get up to do. I sleep over 16 hours a day and I’m still exhausted. I can’t motivate myself to do anything as nothing is enjoyable. I understand anhedonia is tough to treat. the last time I ever felt pleasure from anything was when I was manic. Learning multiple languages, taking lots of classes, being on top of the world, but ever since I’ve ‘crashed’ I don’t see a point in any of this. Especially since I’ve stopped believing in the afterlife, life has become meaningless. We’re tiny specks in the grand scheme of things and everything we could do is meaningless. We’re all gonna die and be forgotten about in the next hundred years. How do I beat that line of reasoning and get motivated to make the best out of my remaining existence? How do I find meaning in life that is motivating? I’ve tried logotherapy and it didn’t work. I’ve tried CBT, psychotherapy, medication, mindfulness and just about everything and I’m losing hope. It all sounds stupid to me because I have nothing to be really depressed about. I live in a mansion. I have food to eat. I never had a family member die. I’ve been spoiled my whole life. But if it wasn’t for my family, I would have suicide a long time ago.

I should be happy

replies: 3

For a while I was really happy. We just sold our house and are moving to the country from West Melbs. I miss our house already and all the friendly people I got to know on my daily walks. Feeling so down today I think reality has sunk in. Lockdown in... View more

For a while I was really happy. We just sold our house and are moving to the country from West Melbs. I miss our house already and all the friendly people I got to know on my daily walks. Feeling so down today I think reality has sunk in. Lockdown in Melbourne is not helping. I miss seing my family so does my toddler. I'm trying to think positive but it's just not happening. Currently stuck in an airbnb in a suburb I'm not crazy about because we can't move into our new home until the end of June. Things are just ok with my husband. If it wasn't for my daughter I don't think i would still be alive to be honest. She keeps me going I love her to bits. I don't think my husband understands me it's the worst feeling. Everything changed a year ago just hope this move was the right choice.

I am sinking

replies: 16

I have so much to write but I am so exhausted and dumbed down by the depression. I couldn’t take my 5 year old to school today, I just kinda broke. I was supposed to help out in her class for the first time. I’m such a shit Mum. My husband came home ... View more

I have so much to write but I am so exhausted and dumbed down by the depression. I couldn’t take my 5 year old to school today, I just kinda broke. I was supposed to help out in her class for the first time. I’m such a shit Mum. My husband came home from work and took her late but you could tell that he was disgusted in me. He’d deny that, but it was pretty obvious. Mental illness is ok as long as I’m not effecting everyone else too badly I guess. im waiting until the 15th so I can go inpatient for over 3 weeks to get TMS. It helped last year but I have to leave my 5 and 3 year old. I’m a stay at home Mum. My 5 yo girl is showing signs of it affecting her, my 3 year old doesn’t understand yet but he’s a mummy’s boy. iwishthis was more articulate. I hate myself. I’m in bed. Look like something the cat dragged in and just don’t care. Husband is now working from home and I just feel disgusting around him. he tries to pep talk me. It makes me want to scream. Then that doesn’t work so he ignores me.

How do I help my daughter

replies: 5

My daughter is 27 years old. She is a very attractive woman who has never had a relationship with anyone. She seems oblivious to the looks she gets from men who notice her beauty. She has very few friends and shares a flat with a girl a few years old... View more

My daughter is 27 years old. She is a very attractive woman who has never had a relationship with anyone. She seems oblivious to the looks she gets from men who notice her beauty. She has very few friends and shares a flat with a girl a few years older than her. Her flatmate has a boyfriend who lives elsewhere. I have been told by a former flatmate that they are very toxic and negative about life. I wish my daughter would move back home to get away from her. Despite studying acting for 3 years, my daughter works in a dead end retail job. She is so negative about her abilities despite being approach by an agent who saw her on stage once and offered to represent her. She closes up in social situations and becomes anxious, even around family. She escapes into her world of video games all the time. Her job is at EB games which does not help. She suffered a complete breakdown last year when we took her to visit her grandfather for his birthday. Even though she has been in his home on many occasions she freaked out completely and wanted to leave straight away. Her grandmother died 9 years ago from pancreatic cancer and she has not been back there since then. She told us she felt no connection to any of us and informed us that she was only staying alive as a courtesy to us and would kill herself when we die. Her grandfather died in April and she had another breakdown when we went to his funeral. Tonight she is staying at home with us and this subject was raised by her again. I am trying to deal with the death of my father and now I have the worry of my daughter who wants to kill herself. She is so negative about the whole world and sees no future. I know she hates her job but because she has $100000 HECS debt from her previous studies she will not pursue any other education to improve her job prospects. I want to live to be 150 just so I can ruin her suicide plans. I talked to my doctor about getting help for her and he gave me tips on how to approach the subject but she completely shut down and threatened to never see us again if we kept talking about it. Her flatmate just uses the excuse that that is the way she is and we should learn to accept it. Well I refuse to do that and I am desperate for help

INFORMATIVE SUPERORITY

replies: 4

"Not Everybody Is In the Same Boat" Either Due to, Ethnicity, Age, Direction, Acceptance from Society & Peer's, Nationality, Personal Intelligence, Stress Competence, Generation, Sociable Esteem, Support or Isolated Reality, Mental Health or NOT - Th... View more

"Not Everybody Is In the Same Boat" Either Due to, Ethnicity, Age, Direction, Acceptance from Society & Peer's, Nationality, Personal Intelligence, Stress Competence, Generation, Sociable Esteem, Support or Isolated Reality, Mental Health or NOT - There's many Area's where Life Isn't Fair with Diversity of Personality and Situational In - different Suffering Than their Is Societal Thinking, which differs In each Country, Plus Government Vast Legislation and Regulation and Rules Creative Personality's and Especially Musician's and Comedian's are more likely to have Depression and Suicidal Tendencies because, Creative People, are more likely to Suicide because their Smarter, Their more Introspective and Reflective, Their more likely to Hold & Grasp Minority Capacity and Possibility, Their not Interested In Conventional Regularity and Ordinary Direction, Their Sensitive, and bothered By their Own Over thinking and By the Mess of Society, Their not Weird People, Their Socially Selective, Not Socially Doomed, They Find Ordinary People Boring for Conversation and Relation to Intellect or Recreational Hobbies and Personality, Their Often Good Hearted, and Find Society Irrational and Stupid, Individuality and Meaning and Identity, not Just with Personal Selective Occupation, Over Second to Last Choice Liability Mundane Slavery. Image and Opinion's and Nature and Expression, Mean's more to Transparent Creative's, They can't Associate with the Average Joe, as their Dismissive and Vain and Vague and Dis Belief from Related Concept's, Their not only within Sub Culture possibility, But their 100% Misfit's from either Generic Masculinity Value's and Virtue's or at least Interest's and Ideologic Thinking, Resentful towards Status Quo or Social Norm's , Their Highly Detailed with Articulation and Aspiration's and Everything get's In the Way with People and Challenge's and Limited Time and Energy and Needing Money at Some Point. They can get Depression because Often Small Talk Is 85% of Society, and Philosophical or Meaningful Discussion about Conspiracy or anything Interesting Is never Shared on the Average. Creativity Is Therapeutic and Besides Creativity and Technology and Fashion and maybe Spirituality or Religion, Everything seems DULL and Depleting of Interest or Attraction. And anyone wither Creative or Academic, can be Mistaken as Autistic or Asperger's, Modern Society, Is Narcissitic and Superiority of Opinion.

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