Michelle34- I read your post and I 100% understand.
I'm a single mother, I only have one child- a daughter who is about the turn 15.
Over the last 10 years, I've had days where I take her to school, come home and go to bed until it's time to pick her up, or set an alarm for 15 minutes before she is due home from the school bus.
I've has mornings where I have woken up with tears streaming, stressed, overwhelmed with responsibilities, tired, sad, feeling physically stuck and literally unable to move (it feels like I'm made of concrete). Sometimes it lasts a day, sometimes up to a month.
How old are your children?
I feel SO GUILTY about my girl, some nights she cooks her own dinner (a toastie, 2-minute noodles, frozen pizza etc) because I cannot cook a meal, there is no brain space left and the fog is so intense.
I also get your situation of always helping people out, but when you need help or disappear for a while due to mental health, these same people are nowhere to be seen, or tell you that your 'selfish' (which you aren't).
You don't have to pretend you're ok when you aren't. I'm not, sometimes I hide it (like at work, or when I'm with aquaintances), but the friends who really matter I tell. They don't always understand or get it, but they are open and give me space.
It took me a solid four years to find a therapist that I clicked with, trial and error and patience. I've been seeing her for four years now.
Wishing you the best!
foxandfate x
