Feeling depressed on the weekends

[poss93]

Hey guys,

I just need to express this and see if anyone else feels the same. Most weekends I stay in because of study and to save money. The last 8 months I have been causal and have been getting some consistent hours to pay rent and keep me afloat and content whilst studying. I now have a fulltime job and am finding I'm becoming more depressed on the weekends. My boyfriend usually has his friends over and I am friends with them as well so we all just hangout and chill. Although I find I'm becoming more depressed even around company. I'm just tired and exhausted. I caught up with a friend of mine for dinner during the week this week while I haven't seen in months and as nice as it was I just wasn't connecting in the moment. I don't mean to be rude and I hate that I feel this way but I didn't care about what she had to say during our catch up. Normally I would be like "Oh wow that' so cool" and generally mean it, but I just say it and express false emotions.

I don't socialise as much as I should with "Girlfriends". I just finding socialising hard when my job is so social.

I have been seeing a someone to talk to for many years and have been on antidepressants for 4 months now. this is the first time I've felt this way since being on my medication.

what's happening?

[smallwolf]

Hi there. Has anyone welcomed you to the forums? If not... Welcome, the people here are very friendly, supportive and non judgmental.

You said you recently started on medication... My suggestion would be to have a chat with your GP or who gave you the prescription about this. It took me a while to find the right medication for myself. It does suck a bit when the medication does not work as we expect it to. The medication should make us feel a little better about ourselves and not make us feel worse. It might also be helpful to chat with therapist (?) about this as well for their input.

On tiredness... Other than the possibilities with the medication, similarities my own experience related to sleep and finding fun activities to do. I sort of lost interest in many things. The negative thoughts can smother any good things that happen to us. I don't know if any of this might relate to you?

I hope you come back and chat some more. As I said, people here know what it can be like and can understand what you are writing about and is helpful (at least for me) between sessions.

Peace to you

[foxandfate]

Hi poss93!

Welcome to the forums!

I'm an introvert, meaning I need to rest and recharge alone. Too many people, stimuli, noise and 'needing to be somewhere' are overwhelming for me- especially that, like you, I spend my working week around people.

Some people gain their downtime and decompression from being around others, feeling energized and able to tackle the week ahead afterwards. I'm the opposite (and from what your saying you may be too) and need to be alone, in my own space. I have on a few occasions called in sick to work (maybe once a year) and just stayed home, been alone and in a quiet space. One thing that is completely random that I find helps of an evening after work, is by not having overhead lights on after dark, but instead having lamps on- the light isn't as harsh and it feels cozy. My home feels calmer and more relaxed.

You mentioned that your boyfriend has friends over (that you are friends with) and you all just hang and chill. Is there a chance that some weekends your boyfriend could go to their house and chill? Having alone time and not having to 'entertain' can relieve some mental space. Spending a full week around people then weekends having others in your space can be a factor- it certainly is for me.

You're not being rude by acknowledging that you didn't care about what your friend had to say at dinner. It's self awareness- you knew something wasn't right with your mental space and sometimes things that would normally be exciting can seem trivial. Maybe it was sheer exhaustion on your part from a full day at work, and knowing that you had to get up and do it the next day. Either way, you weren't rude, you were unwell.

When I started my medication, I noticed it took about six months for things to balance to a sense of 'normal', meaning I could function like a human being again, instead of feeling heavy, low and exhausted all the time. Have a chat with your GP about your medication, there are many different types out there, and it can be trial and error for a while. 

Wishing you the best!

foxandfate x

[poss93]

Hi guys! Thank you so much for your input!

As you mentioned Fox and fate "Either way, you weren't rude, you were unwell." I forget that I suffer from depression and I guess you could say that, yeah, I am unwell today because of mental exhaustion.

I do love a lamp feel in my home!

Your so right with that, a lot of noise and people and things going on in my environment definitely set me off emotionally through stress, frustration and lack of patients and concentration. I'm actually asking my therapist about that now. I've never thought to mention it before. I usually forget to mention somethings as it's a week or two later when I see him. We are the only people who have a "house" with out parents. All of his friends are at their parents house so its kind of hard. I want to book a night in a hotel some weekends and just be alone, that's how much I like my own company.

Is the way I'm feeling a result of my medication though? Is it not working as it should? I have been taking it for 4 months so I'm not sure.

As for Small wolf,

I have been welcomed but thank you again, I have answered some of your questions above but also do find its good to hear from other people on this forum as "normal" people don't like to talk about such emotional stuff and get awkward so its good to open up about it and be real!