Hi mel
Really wish I was there sitting beside you, having a long chat, in order to help you find answers to your questions. When facing my years in depression, like you I had a lot of questions. You ask 2 of the most significant questions in life because you're naturally intelligent: 'Why am I here?' and 'What is my purpose?'
I am here to live, to experience/feel life. There will be plenty of folk who will hinder the experience. The challenge becomes spotting such people. If we're a naturally adventurous person who says to folk 'Let's go on an adventure' and you're met with 'No, I can't be bothered', the challenge is to look for someone who loves to add ventures to life. This is how we evolve. Not evolving is painful because it goes against our nature. Unless we naturally have the ability to calculate easily, Math may also go against our nature. We will have natural intelligence in a stack of other areas but if we don't have a mentor to reveal such intelligence to us, we may be left telling our self we're 'stupid'. This is also painful because it's not true. Personally I hated Math at school. For me, it felt useless, boring and unnaturally contrived. Loved art with a passion!
What is my purpose? I bet you're already carrying out part of your purpose but you don't realise it. If I was to tell you that it's about raising people to a challenge, to change their mind, to lead them to more productive ways of thinking or living, I bet you've already tried this with your parents and it hasn't worked. Are they seriously stuck in their ways? Do they prefer to stick with what's comfortable for them rather than question their behaviour and ways of thinking? Do you naturally find the behaviour of others highly questionable, such as with people's obsession with appearance. Some are so obsessed with pointing out perceived 'flaws' in others that it's like a form of OCD. Do you find it easy to look beyond appearance? Do you not judge based on age, gender, race etc but more so on the behaviour of others?
mel, I'll suggest that some faults you're experiencing are faults in others. Because you're a natural, it's painful to tolerate these faults. Some people are crazy, yet they'll convince you that you're the one with the problem. Your challenge is to question them to higher consciousness. This will trigger folk, one way or another. Some will be triggered to accept the challenge and some will simply be triggered to anger (through resistance).
🙂
