I dunno

[hannalogy]

I wasnt sure what to call this thread.. I basically have some questions..

Sometimes it just hurts to be around people. Like I just want to lay on the floor or go home. There is just something so painful about it sometimes. I have to go to the bathroom and calm down. I don't really understand why this is.. I just feel so sad. For no reason.

Sometimes life just doesn't seem to have much meaning or point. Why do i work? So I can pay the rent and feed myself. Why pay the rent and feed myself? To what end? Like I know that's kind of dramatic and silly, but it's how I feel some times. Life just seems to be this thing to "get through".

Are these depression things? Or just my own immaturity?

[Neil_1]

Dear Hannaology,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.

These are good questions and for what I can make out, my thought would be to see if you’re able to get an appointment with a GP – to possible confirm (or deny) what these feelings are and whether they can be linked to depression. I don’t wish to say yes or no as I’m not professional expert – just a fellow sufferer of different mental illnesses and am having to fight these on a daily basis.

Your part about not being around people or just wanting to go home, speaks to me of possible social anxiety, of which I suffer from. You have to remove yourself from the situation and it’s troubling and exhaustive to remain in that vicinity with others – even though potentially they all mean well, etc.

What purpose does life hold? Working, obtaining money so we can exist and survive – but really what’s it all for and where are we going on this journey. I’ve held these questions in my own head for a long long time. Mostly I can’t come up with an answer and it’s just to continue to keep on existing. To find things in our life that we enjoy – things that we can hopefully achieve and give us some little incentives; or to try and create little goals that we can achieve.

After all, as far as we know, this is our only life and for as much as we can, we should try our best to try and have as much fun as possible; to find things we enjoy doing and do them. To spend time with people who we really get on with and I could go on, but I’ll send this to you first. It would be great to hear back from you.

Neil

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

Try career counsellors, including some googlable free online "What should I be?" quizzes.

Try some brainstorming. Follow tangents as far as they will go. If you even think something as silly as "sandwiches", write it down, and how you got there.

In any sense (don't require answers to be relevant to the "particular kind of sadness" in this thread): What pisses you off? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What's broken in the world? What films, music, art resonates with you, and why? Those are insights; reminders of what you care about. Those are things you can work at. Don't allow "No, that doesn't count - I'm too small a person to contribute to that issue" to disqualify any answers. Some of the threads may be able to entwine around types of activities you can try. e.g. if I came up with "bananas", "cornflakes", and "poverty"; perhaps I secretly want to invent banana-flavoured cornflakes and feed them to starving children.

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

"Are these depression things? Or just my own immaturity?"

Both? "Immaturity" in a positive sense; a synonym for "brimming with potential", "at the starting line of your next great adventure" 😛

[hannalogy]

Sorry it took me so long to get on again but I just wanted to say thanks to you folks for your responses