I don’t understand why people don’t try to understand

[Ocean_explorer]

Hey,

I just really don’t get why people don’t try to understand. I have many things going on in terms of mental and physical health but everyone lives in denial. No one wants to accept the truth.

i constantly get told that I’m lazy and selfish and need to just get on with it. Toughen up, be like everyone else. Make my own way in life. Get real

I have 1 person who listens to me and that is my therapist and I have to pay her to listen.

I recently asked my family if they would read a book on autism if I gave it to them to read, they said sure of course, they offered to buy the book. But more than 2 months later the book still sits there.

Today they couldn’t understand why I’m distressed at the thought of having to do Telehealth with my therapist. They have said if I want a house to live in I have to isolate and not go out , including to medical appointments. Instead of asking why this was distressing or having a discussion about my needs they were aggressive and said if I don’t like it I can move out.

no one wants to try and see it from my perspective, no one gives a shit. I wonder if anyone would even bother showing up to my funeral

[Guest_1643]

Hi Ocean! Nice username, it reminds me of a really beautiful poem I read about an ocean explorer!!

My heart breaks for you. I relate to everything you wrote... and my family talk to me exactly the same way. I also had no one to talk to, so paid a therapist, and in the end he just took my money and didn't really listen to me either (no joke - he fell asleep quite regularly...).

It's not your fault. I could be sensitive and say that some people are triggered by mental illness, and they shut down when they hear people talk about it. Or I could say more how I feel - which is that... people don't make effort to understand, and intentionally stay uneducated.

I'm so sorry that you are hearing those messages - that you need to just try harder etc, and that you don't have a right to your feelings. Anyone would be confused and stressed to have to lose their reuglar medical appointments, and then adapt to attending them online. Anyone.

It is very hard when your needs aren't being met, there is so much pain and anxiety to have people around not believe and care. Have you tried calling Beyond Blue, Lifeline, or other phone lines?

They were the first to believe me... and helped me find others. You are worth it and deserve to be heard. You matter and anyone who tells you otherwise, has issues themselves.

[therising]

Hi Ocean explorer

I definitely hear your frustration.

Reached a point where I started to really question 'Why don't people wonder about what really counts?' Why don't they wonder in constructive ways? They might spend their time wondering about what they're going to have for dinner but not wonder about what it would be like to walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

I typically find that truly empathetic people have great imaginations. They can easily imagine some of the struggles another may be facing, given their circumstance. They can even imagine that researching such struggle can give them further understanding.

By the way, the 'toughen up' mantra is one that seriously annoys me. Typically, we'll have the less sensitive people tell us to toughen up. Such toughened up people don't realise the benefits of being more sensitive. I'm incredibly sensitive to many of the people around me in my life. This is exactly what helps me in understanding how they tick. Not hard to imagine that the most fulfilling relationships I have among all the people I know are with the most sensitive of people. While sensitivity can be a gift, it can be a gift we may often struggle with, especially when we need others to be more sensitive toward us.

I find sometimes the way to get others to relate is to give them something relateable to work with. Eg: If you said to a family member, who you wanted understanding from, 'I want you to think of a time when you really needed support from someone close and that person showed up for you. Now, I want you to imagine desperately needing that person in front of you but I said 'Bad luck, it's not going to happen! You just have to get over it!' Would you feel angry with me for not caring and for making such a thoughtless statement or would you prefer that I help you manage to come to terms with the disappointment?' You are basically getting their imagination working for them.

Unfortunately, some people's minds are so closed to possibility or wonder, so closed that they can't even see that this is an issue. It takes an open mind to want to understand our own self and others. I must say, from what you've written, you do sound open minded, wonderful and sensitive. Having these traits is what makes you truly brilliant - a light and example to others.

🙂

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

please google

beyondblue topic they just don’t understand- why?

TonyWK