I don't know what to do

[cadyxoxo]

I'm currently in my last year of school, and i should be happy as everything's going well, but I can't be its like nothing I do makes me feel happy anymore, apart from small times with my family, as sometimes I can't even be bothered to leave my room to talk to them, even though it makes me happy.

I struggle with simple needs, and its really getting annoying as i have all these plans i wanna do but when they come around, I'm not able to. And the truth is i have no reason to be unhappy i have a loving family alot of friends, and I'm in a relationship with someone who loves me, but it's hard to keep these relationships up. 

I don't know what to do, I can't reach out to them as they have worried over me since year six and now they believe i am better but im not, i really dont know what to do, i feel kinda pathetic being one here lol. 

If I tell them, they’ll probably send me back to therapy with the same family friend. They trust her completely, talk about how much she helped me, and I don’t know how to explain that she didn't i acted like she did so i could get out of it and i'm starting to regret it but she truly made me uncomfortable back then i didn't i could talk to my parents about this and i feel like i still cant.

Sorry, any advice will be helpful sorry for venting lol.

[Psychdiaries2]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out! Don’t apologise for venting, this is the right place for that!

I think a lot of us put pressure on ourselves to be happy all the time. The truth is, that isn’t always the case. It’s ok to feel what you feel right now. You sound really demotivated and sad, and it’s totally valid. You’re not alone. When I was in high school, I felt bad for struggling with my mental health because I thought I was wasting my time being sad, but now I try to take my emotions as they come and try not to beat myself up over it. We’re all human. 

It sounds like you’re worried about being a burden to your family if you let them know what’s really going on. If your family is supportive and open to listening, then I promise they are not going to look at you like a burden. It’s natural to be concerned about someone who is struggling, I worry about my family/friends sometimes too. 

Perhaps you could try a new therapist? If this previous therapist didn't help, maybe you could think about why. Since the school year is about to start, maybe you could think about seeing your school psychologist? Or even chatting to someone on Kidshelpline (chat feature) https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling Of course, I am going to suggest you open up to someone you trust, whether that be someone in your family, friends or therapist, I think it’s really beneficial. I hope that it will be warmly received and that you get the support you need.

Don’t feel pathetic for being on the forums, loads of people open up everyday on here. I hope this helps. Take care of yourself today, and I hope things get a bit better for you soon 🙂

[therising]

Hi cadyxoxo

I feel for you so much as you struggle to make greater sense of what you're feeling and the way forward.

At times I think we can sense in basic ways, kind of like 'I can sense there's something saddening going on within me because I can feel the sadness'. Then there are times when there becomes a need to sense more deeply, 'I can sense there's something saddening going on but I can't feel or sense exactly what it is'. There's nothing wrong with feeling the sadness because it's telling us something. Sometimes the greatest challenge can come down to finding the right person who can help us gain a sense of what that sadness is all about and what it's trying so hard to tell us. 

• Could what our sadness be telling us relate to the physical? 'Am I feeling or sensing the side effects of a depressing level of chemical deficiency? Could it be a depressing level of iron, b12 or thyroid deficiency or why is it that I can't feel the side effects of dopamine? Is there not enough of it for me to be able to feel the happiness or high that it brings?'
• Could what our sadness be telling us relate to mental issues? 'Am I feeling the side effects of some of my depressing belief systems, inner dialogue, perspective etc? Could it relate to me not having some of the belief systems or inner dialogue I really need at this point in my life?'
• Could what our sadness be telling us relate to more so soulful kind of stuff? 'Am I feeling or sensing some soul destroying elements in my life? Why can I not feel myself come to life like I used to? Am I being challenged to come to life in new ways but I just can't see the ways ahead? Do I need someone to help me establish a vision that will lead me to feel what inspiration feels like?'

In all 3 cases the sadness is telling us something important. Every feeling is important. 

With the therapist you speak of, perhaps it could be a matter of saying to your parents something along the lines or 'I felt like they just never got a sense of who I am. I need to find someone who can help me gain a true sense of who I am and the direction I need to head in at this point in my life'. Personally, I believe some therapists a 'textbook' therapists. They studied all the textbooks at uni and stick to a particular line of questioning and therapy. Others are more sensitive, able to gain a deeper sense of who a person is, what their struggles are about on a deeper level and so on. So it becomes about what kind of therapist you're looking for as a guide and support in life.

[trying_my_best]

Hi Cadyxoxo!

I went through a period of time like this in my final year of school too, I also come from a loving family and had lots of friends. I also felt guilty for feeling the feelings I had. 

I think, when you feel comfortable to do so, that you should speak to your parents or an adult you trust. I found that even though I didn’t want my parents knowing how I was feeling once I told them it was the start to me starting to feel “better” again. It may also beneficial, as scary as it seems, to tell your parents that you don’t feel like the family friend therapist helped you. Everyone gets different things out of therapy and you have the right to choose if the therapist you are seeing is really the therapist you want to see. If you don’t think they’re helping you, you don’t have to continue seeing them. 

However, I am so incredibly proud to see you reaching out here! At your age I was too afraid to and it didn’t help. So I commend you! 

Wishing you the best 🫶