I can feel it getting bad again

[Coco18-8]

Hi, its been a while since I've been here which is really good. However I can feel my depression coming back, I thought this was over but I can feel myself each day slowly sliding back into it. It started because my boyfriend is about to leave for the army. We have been friends for a year and dating for two months, he really helped me get through it last time and now he's leaving. I am scared for when he leaves in a week because I will truely be alone. My friends are growing up and I think growing out of me, they have their own relationships and clubbing a lot which I can't do because I'm under 18. I thought I should reach out to my mum because I have been crying everyday about my boyfriend leaving but because my relationship is so new she laughed when I told her ill be upset when he leaves. I have experienced depression before and my parents don't know because they continue to invalidate my feelings. I have a therapist however they are not reopening until three weeks from now. Its like i'm waiting for my depression to hit as soon as he leaves and i'll be alone again like I always am, I always feel like I'm alone.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

We aren't professional people however I'll try to sooth your feelings.

I think you have highlighted a more complex issue that you could speak to your therapist about like - insecurity, low self esteem and attachment. Being around your boyfriend helps you feel safe and not lonely. If you focus on this rather than your boyfriend's absence as being the issues then you could progress hopefully into a more confident person.

There is negatives or potential issues with being "clingy" in a relationship. I'm ex AirForce so I know what he will be undertaking. He will be training hard and long hours, learning to stay awake for up to 36 hours without sleep, activities with his troopers, study etc. So if he feels obligated to ring you he might not be in the mood with all that is going on. Then if you get upset he'll feel bad and under pressure. Your therapist is essential to iron out these issues you have so your relationship will continue in a stable manner, most important.

Well done for your guy to join the ARMY because it is a good career. If down the track he wants to live with you then it is a good life and this will result in you being long distance from your parents. So you can see the same feelings might be there then so you can see why its better to find remedies for the core of the problem by professional help.

Depression will come and go likely all your life. Try to accept it and balance things.  eg feeling depressed then allow it to run its course and wait till it runs out of steam and get back into life again. Yes, aint easy.

I hope I've helped.

TonyWK