I am scared

[guest75]

I am so scared of next tuesday

I know I have done everything asked of me in the temp IVO, i have not contacted Tara even though every impulse i have in my body wanted to

I have done everything I can think of to improve myself (Meds, Psychologist, Enrolled in Mens Behaviour Change Program, Given up drinking coke, working on mensline anger management worksheets, writing stuff to get it out of my head, have a job and an interview thursday for one much closer to home, gotten a myself a car)

What happened at the start of december knocked me to the canvas...it has taken every ounce of strength i have to get myself back up and to the point where i am now.

If it goes bad next week, i know i dont have the strength to fight back again, i dont even know if i want to fight back to be honest

Im scared...so so scared and its making me feel sick

[guest75]

Well that was some unexpected good news.

Just had a call back from a job i applied for before Christmas, for a Central Laboratory Manager role (ie head of 5 of their labs), they want to interview me on the 29th of Jan.

I want the job but with my mind the way it is at the min im not 100% sure i want to take on a role with such high responsibility (my last role back in May was managerial and high stress) but i think with my medication it should be fine

[Girl_Anachronism]

Hi Matty,

First of all congrats on the job interview. I hope it goes really well for you.

I'd offer advice but it sounds like you are doing everything you can to help the situation and yourself. So I guess allI can say is keep doing what you're doing. You're in my thoughts and I'm sure you're in others too.

GA

[Jo3]

Hi Matty

Well done on getting a job interview, that's great news.  I really hope things go your way and I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Good luck!!

Jo

[Neil_1]

Hi Matty

That is really excellent news ... and as that time approaches, stay here with us;  we'll support you all the way to that interview.  But for the time being as GA said (at least I think it was GA ... cause that's gotta be the shortest reply she's ever produced 😛  🙂 KOROFL (kind of rolling on floor laughing) so where was I?  Oh yeah, as GA said, please keep on doing what you're doing.

Mate everything you've been doing has just been huge positive steps that you've been taking ...and you've been doing this without your best friend, your soulmate and your wonderful children ... which just speaks huge amounts for your inner strength and for the kind of person you are.

You had that wayward lapse last year, and really that wasn't you ... that was this damned awful illness that we suffer that did that.  But I can see bright lights ahead of you. 

You know as I right this, I know it's not possible, but I would love to be a character witness for you on the 21st.  Hard to do I know, but from all the posts we've shared, I would go in and bat for you and vouch for you as an absolute genuine bloke who is a bloody good person and has done everything in his power to get back his family, which mean the absolute world to him.

Cheers

Neil

[Neil_1]

ps:  I can't share your same enthusiasm for your movie that you mentioned, Ferris Bueller's Day Off ... I think I've tried to watch it once a long long time ago, and just couldn't get into it.

But hey, that's what makes people so different and diverse, don't it?  Hmm, I've actually been thinking about something and I might just do that.  Stand by for a new post, probably on Community Board.

You've inspired me.  🙂

[Girl_Anachronism]

Neil- I wish I could dispute that 😉

[guest75]

Hi Neil

The hardest part of all this is trying to do it all without my best friend. Yes ive lost my partner, but she was also my best friend.  shes the only person (apart from you guys on here) that knows everything about me, ive never felt comfortable enough with anyone to me open and honest with. now thats gone

thank you for wanting to be a character referee, i wish we could make that happen.  maybe i should ask the magistrate to log into beyond blue?  I am a good person, ive always been a good provider for my family, i love my family its not fair

[Neil_1]

Matty

I think you’ve got your meeting with a solicitor today, yeah?  I hope that all goes really well for you and that you get all the questions that you wanted answered, answered to your satisfaction.

We’re still here for you.

Cheers

Neil

[guest75]

Just got back from meeting with solicitor

Apparently i wont lose access to the kids, there will be some sort of arrangement made but i wont be able to speak to them or see them outside of that arrangement

Bad news; unless she chooses to withdraw the application on tuesday this wont be finished.  There could be 2 more court dates yet, all the while the temporary order will remain in place....i guess if she doesnt retract it on tuesday i know her feelings towards me

I just want to curl up and die....ive done everything i can think of to better myself and its going to be for nothing....i just want to lie down and not wake up

[geoff]

dear Matty, do you have any access with your children before tuesday? Geoff.