I am scared

[guest75]

I am so scared of next tuesday

I know I have done everything asked of me in the temp IVO, i have not contacted Tara even though every impulse i have in my body wanted to

I have done everything I can think of to improve myself (Meds, Psychologist, Enrolled in Mens Behaviour Change Program, Given up drinking coke, working on mensline anger management worksheets, writing stuff to get it out of my head, have a job and an interview thursday for one much closer to home, gotten a myself a car)

What happened at the start of december knocked me to the canvas...it has taken every ounce of strength i have to get myself back up and to the point where i am now.

If it goes bad next week, i know i dont have the strength to fight back again, i dont even know if i want to fight back to be honest

Im scared...so so scared and its making me feel sick

[Neil_1]

Hi Matty

From the sounds of that, the solicitor was probably advising you of the worst case scenario … which although it sounds awful to say, may not have necessarily been a bad thing.  The old saying, “cruel to be kind”.  As in, he was telling you where it could journey too.  It wouldn’t have been fair to you if he said something like, ‘well the hearing is next Tuesday and all going well, your family will be back together again then’.  I hope that kind of made sense.

When you said that if she doesn’t retract the order, then you will know exactly what her feelings are towards you.  “IF” (see how I’ve emphasized that) that does happen then we’ll cross that bridge “IF” we come to it. I would so hope that she has been told of all the things that you have put into progress over the last month or so … in fact, I would think that she’d have had to be told … because he professional advisor (I’m assuming she must have one) would have all the information about what you’ve been doing. 

All the positive efforts you’ve made to better yourself, the job you’ve secured and another interview coming up (and for anyone to hear this considering how difficult it is to find work in this current climate, is a huge achievement) and all the rest of the things you’ve put in place and attended, Tara will have been made aware of this. Matty, the weekend is just about upon us … what have you got planned??  

 I think this weekend it’s imperative that you try to keep as occupied as possible.  Shine your shoes, take your suit to the dry cleaners … um, ok they were very lame suggestions … I haven’t had my morning coffee yet.  But I will … and then I’ll come up with something much more, um, better.

One last thing … all this has not been for nothing … it shows what courage and strength and determination you have, that against the odds, you’ve gone out and sought help and then have used all advice/suggestions in the most positive of ways possible.  You’ve got yourself a job, another interview, you’ve fought hard to beat your demons and have come through.  This is NOT for nothing.

Cheers my friend,

Neil

[guest75]

Hi Geoff,

I've asked for them this weekend, but im 99% sure they had plans already with one of the holiday programs

Neil,

You may be right about preparing me for the worst and i hope thats what it is

He said on the day he can speak to whoever is representing her to let her know what ive been doing and that i would prefer her not to proceed with the order, but if she chooses to then we get set another court date in about a months time, meanwhile the temp order remains

AS for the weekend, no plans, as i have no money (i have to pay my solicictor so there goes my first week pay).  I was hoping I could have the kids but i dont think that will happen

I understand what you are saying about improving myself, but without Tara and my kids, whats the point?  Why better myself when I dont have the most important thing in the world to me?