Dear 1321~
Welcome here to the Support Forum, a place where there is a huge range of experence by people who find themselves in similar circumstances to each others and would like to assist others in the same boat
Frankly I find I have trouble with what you are getting at in your post, and I think I may have to guess a bit. Th title is straightforward enough saying you are depressed, which is something that has been with me too.
When that happens I find I do not have direct control of my thoughts and that may well feel like it is going to be my future.
Looking back I have found many thngs that have in fact altered how I felt and what I did. Getting medical help has played a big part, as has family support, plus things I can do myself. For example simply walking out of the house has helped. If I stay inside the walls all seem to echo back to me and magnify all the unpleasant thoughts and feelings I've been having. Outside the influence is less.
If I'm guessing and getting it right you might find you can understand what has happened to me, if I've got it wrong then you miss out on companionship and understanding -something that is here on offer.
So to get rid of some guesswork would you like to come back and say more about the circumstances you find yourself in, and how you are feeling about it?
I look forward ot your saying more
Croix
