How to not think too much

Vorbis · ‎05-02-2017

Hi

I have a slightly weird form of depression that I searched for but didn't see much come up about. Anyone else get existential depression? I tend to have long patches where I'm doing fine, and then stumble into existentialism and wonder what the point of it all is.

I had a weird childhood because I had a perfect memory. Made me have to do things differently because I'd be forced to live with the consequences of my actions forever.

It also meant that I had limited space for what I'd give my attention to - I really struggled with other children who changed their minds constantly and contradicted themselves daily (I'm friends with Sophie! Now I'm not! Actually we're all a giant group of friends except we hate Alex!) I'd get sick from having to live with all the mismatched data. They weren't even lying! They just changed their minds, and that constantly rolling game was the point of their world. It wasn't mine.

Fortunately I had a son when I was 26, and then became a single mum. He never slept, and was still waking up seven times a night when he was one and a half years old. Turns out they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture because it completely destroys a person. Far from an eidetic memory, I have no memories at all for the first three years of his life.

So now my mind is a much happier place. I can mess things up and forget about it! But I occasionally slip back into wondering what the point of it all is (the What is the meaning of life question I was driven to answer, back when answering it was a genuine possibility). And it makes me find all the small things I do day to day pointless.

Does anyone know how to stop sliding into big picture thoughts? It feels very similar to meditation. So... how to not meditate?

Quiettall · ‎05-02-2017

Hi Vorbis

Wow, you are on fire tonight. I am not sure about your question. I find that people need to have a big picture view to lift them out of their daily grind and stressful situation. As for remembering slabs of your life, there are many slabs of my life I have no memory of, apart from something where my siblings or something else suddenly jogs the memory or brings back an instance of recall.

Your comment about the small things on a daily basis being pointless, yes I understand but I find it in a weird way, a type of security or familiarity or maybe its a pattern of behaviour we need to cement our greater being.....wow....now we are getting really philosophical for this time of night.

At that point, I will call it quits for the night and look forward to hearing more from you

Quiettall · ‎05-02-2017

Hi again

As I signed off, an image came to mind of me working last year in a very unfamiliar environment in Vietnam. While not feeling particularly homesick, I did feel a sense of unease, disquiet or discomfort when I realised I was in a undertake the full range of small tasks and activities I normally do at home.different living context and either could not or did not need to do. So it forced me to completely rethink who I was, what I was doing there, and how best to go about achieving what I could with the limited resources I had, and within the very limited timeframe. It was a challenge which I am pleased to say I think I succeeded in fulfilling.

Vorbis · ‎06-02-2017

I think you're right about the small things we do cementing our greater being. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit" - Durant, summarising Aristotle.

There's a great deal of comfort to be found in the ritual of doing small tasks and doing them well.

It's really strange when you're forced into new awareness of things you do by habit, isn't it? I've had that experience a few times when I'm travelling. It makes you appreciate the challenges of the moment and the safety of the familiar waiting for you back home.

Do you remember that quote from that Nobel prize nominee about washing dishes? Hang on, I'll find it.

“To my mind, the idea that doing dishes is unpleasant can occur only when you aren’t doing them. Once you are standing in front of the sink with your sleeves rolled up and your hands in the warm water, it is really quite pleasant. I enjoy taking my time with each dish, being fully aware of the dish, the water, and each movement of my hands. I know that if I hurry in order to eat dessert sooner, the time of washing dishes will be unpleasant and not worth living. That would be a pity,for each minute, each second of life is a miracle. The dishes themselves and that fact that I am here washing them are miracles!” – Thich Nhat Hanh

I'm not great at doing what he says, but it's something to strive for.

Guest_322 · ‎07-02-2017

Hi Vorbis,

I'm glad you created this thread. I have to admit that I can only answer 1 of your 2 key questions.

Anyone else get existential depression?

Answer: a resounding yes!

It's the wee hours of the morning so hopefully my post makes (some) sense. I've struggled with this for years- in addition to some other personal struggles.

It might sound odd but even as a very young child, I alway felt something was amiss except I didn't have the language or knowledge to articulate my thoughts at the time. It wasn't till I learnt about existentialism in my teens that it clicked.

Maybe it sounds stupid and counterintuitive but I read a fair number of books on existentialism. I desperately craved understanding but I couldn't find it in my friends and peers. So I turned to books instead - these authors seemed to understand my thoughts better than my friends, family and classmates.

(Sighs) As for your second question. I'm afraid that I honestly can't help you out on how to stop sliding into big picture thoughts. I personally struggle immensely with big picture thoughts so I'm probably the last person who could help you.

I have heard of Gestalt therapy, which is an existential/experimental type of therapy. I don't know too much about it but maybe it's worth researching (?)

Dottie x

aegidius · ‎08-02-2017

Thinking too much is what I do, because I'm an introverted intellectual type. This is both a blessing and a curse!

Big picture thoughts can be both positive and negative too - you can ruminate on your complete irrelevance in the grand scheme of things, or you can have tremendous gratitude for what you do have. I notice a lot of people what listed their faith in God as being very helpful when they struggle with negative thoughts - that isn't part of my big picture though. The existentialists for me raised hope rather than despair - they said there is nobody "out there" to give you purpose, you have to create it yourself, new, each day. I got a lot out of a recent book "At the Existentialist Cafe" (Sarah Bakewell? I think) - refreshed my memory of the old times.