How to deal with constant failure

[priya91]

Hi everyone,

I've tried pursuing the same goal for two years now. Every time I try, I fail. And no matter how hard I try, I seem to fall. This led me to losing motivation in my job, and life in general. I find myself wanting to hide from everyone and everything. I find it extremely hard because my partner is pursuing the same goals, and has succeeded. The only difference between us, is our circumstances.

What are some things that you do/say to force yourself to keep going? How do you know if it will get better? And what if it doesn't?

[MarkJT]

Hey Priya91, great post and yes it is difficult when no matter how hard you try, things seem to never go your way.

When i am in this type of predicament. I always refer back to my sporting idol, Michael Jordan. He once said, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed". Now i know this is taking it to the extreme as Jordan is the best basketball player ever but the point is, even the best continue to fail.

This takes a lot of practice to achieve but if you can flip the negatives into positives then it is a big help. Each time i fail at something, I analyse it and work out where i went wrong. Then i take the steps to try and better myself to achieve what i have trying to achieve. This doesn't always work but i just keep plugging away at it.

In relation to your partner being successful at it, try and not compare yourself to others. Yes it is frustrating but at the same time, you would achieve something quicker that what they would. Different people are suited to different things and it comes easier to them. Those that it doesn't come easy to have to work harder to achieve it.

One thing that is for sure, all the most successful people in the world, it doesn't come without hard work and they have failed many many times.

Stick at it, give it your best and that is all that anyone can ask of themselves. If it turns out that it is out of reach, then, even though you are disappointed, you know that you gave it your all.

Regards

Mark.

[1derwall]

Hi Priya91

this is not going to be the most useful post but I'd just like to say, I really admire your persistence, I really do. I find it hard to keep going after I fail at anything, the fact that you have kept working at the same goals for two years is so impressive! The fact that you can wake up in the morning and dedicate the new day to the same goal is astounding, and judging from your post, the fact that you have not yet given up isn't a failure. If your'e still fighting and still working to achieve something that you obviously want badly, you're winning. And you're beating any voice inside your head or out that is telling you that you've failed.

[spunkyturtle]

Hey Priya

have you heard of the SMART goal setting method? Google it. Maybe try breaking your goal down in to smaller achieveable tasks also!

Keep going! Don't give up

[MarkJT]

1derwall, do not under estimate how good your post is. Your comment about "this is not going to be the most useful post", with respect is untrue. You have shown compassion for someone else that you can empathise with and that is resilience building material.

Conversely, Priya, your post has helped someone else out knowing that they are not alone in their own journey. The strength you are showing is brilliant and your resilience is brilliant, to keep going and going. Great stuff.

Well done you two, despite having your own mental health journeys, you have still taken the time to post your own feelings and thoughts and have therefore helped other people. please feel good about that and I could almost guarantee that there are others that have read your posts and also got something out of them.

Nicely done.

Mark.

[1derwall]

Thank you for the response to my post Mark, it means a lot. This was only my second post on the entire website so I kind've didn't want to speak of things I don't really understand. On behalf of Priya91 and I, thank you for your support.

[MarkJT]

1derwall, no need to thank me. More than happy to help out where i can.

As long as you now understand that by you speaking up, you have helped others and as i said previously that is super powerful. Your courage is there and you are using it which is great to see.

Ask as many questions on the site as you need to. There are so many people on here that will answer.

Cheers

Mark.