Hi Alannah57
It's a horrible feeling when everything and everyone appears so cold. It can leave you questioning at times 'What's wrong with me?'. When the cold feels so cruel, self doubt seems to make things feel even crueler at times. I feel for you so deeply and wish to send so much warmth to you, to the point where I hope you feel it.
In my efforts to 'stay out of the cold', I try to imagine what channels provide a current of warmth. I'm wondering if you can relate
- Generally, the news leaves me cold so I try not to interact with the media too much
- When someone says to me 'Let's work this out together', this offers warmth
- When someone says 'You should be able to work this out yourself', this leaves me cold
- If someone says 'Let's go outside and put our face up to the sun', warmth in multiple ways
- If someone says 'You're too sensitive', this leaves me cold, shutting off that channel in a split second. Although it challenges me greatly at times, I love my sensitivity. I thrive on it. There is nothing quite like the coldness of insensitivity. I find it almost unbearable to have insensitive people around me. The lack of warmth is mind altering
- There's nothing quite like the warmth of people who really get you, help you actually celebrate who you naturally are - your sensitivity, your questioning, your wondering, your feelings, your search for greater self understanding and the list goes on. Yes, they can be hard to find at times. I discovered, once I found a couple of these people I then had a reference when it came to who I needed to be searching for. It's amazing how you can see not much wrong with the cold folk, in turn leading you to question yourself. I found it wasn't until I discovered the warm ones that I kind of 'woke up' to the cold ones in a number of ways
If it's of any help, one of the ways I manage not returning to depression involves questioning just about everything and everyone. 'Why is that person so cold? Why is that person so warm? Where do the warm people congregate? What are they like? Am I one of them, which is why the cold feels so unbearable to me?'
That last question, I admit to being one of those mind/body/spirit woo woo gals (I'm smiling) and I can tell you this is where I find the greatest warmth - with the 'weird', the 'misfits' as well as with the questioners and philosophers who refuse to settle for 'cold' and that is why I don't fit in with the rest.
Your brilliance and warmth will not allow you to settle in the cold.
🙂
