How do I cope with the unfairness of life?

[Guest_47874125]

Time says it all really. 

how do I cope with the fact that life will never be fair? For me and for others. 

how is it that so many evil people get so much good stuff while so many good people suffer?

[amd1953]

Hello Guest,

People have been asking that same question for a very long time.   The answers will always be disappointing.   When it comes to the crunch, anyone of us is capable of good and evil.   It is a well-established fact that there is an innate streak of cruelty running through our veins.   Saints and sinners!   In reality, there are evil people and then there are slightly less evil people.   If you like to think that there are genuinely good people then fill your boots, if that's what makes you sleep at night.   The reality is that we are an imperfect race and thus there will always be people who couldn't lie straight in bed.   It is just the way of the world, and we have to accept it.   No matter whether we do it or think it, we are all capable of anything if we are pushed too far.   All we can do is accept that this will always be the way and adapt our thinking accordingly.   Life is never going to be fair, and truth can be manipulated for any cause.   

amd1953

[Guest_33125251]

Life’s unfairness is something everyone encounters, and coping with it often means shifting how we respond rather than trying to eliminate it. Here are some thoughtful approaches:

🌱 Practical Ways to Cope

• Acceptance: Recognize that unfairness is part of the human experience. Fighting reality often deepens frustration.

• Focus on control: Separate what you can influence (your actions, choices, mindset) from what you can’t (others’ behavior, random events).

• Reframe perspective: Instead of asking “Why me?”, try “What can I learn or grow from this?”

• Build resilience: Develop habits like journaling, mindfulness, or exercise that strengthen your ability to bounce back.

• Seek meaning: Sometimes unfairness sparks creativity, empathy, or advocacy. Channeling energy into purpose can transform pain into progress.

• Lean on support: Talking with friends, mentors, or communities helps you feel less isolated.

💡 Mindset Shifts

• Fairness isn’t guaranteed: Life isn’t a perfectly balanced system—it’s unpredictable. Accepting this reduces disappointment.

• Gratitude practice: Focusing on what is good can balance the weight of what feels unfair.

• Compassion for others: Recognizing that everyone faces struggles can soften feelings of injustice.

🛠️ Coping in Action

• If work feels unfair → advocate for yourself, but also invest energy in skills that open new opportunities.

• If relationships feel unfair → set boundaries and prioritize those who reciprocate care.

• If circumstances feel unfair → create small wins daily to remind yourself of your agency.

Unfairness can feel heavy, but it doesn’t have to define your life. It can be the spark that pushes you toward growth, empathy, and strength.

[Ggrand]

Dear guest,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums…

I have asked that question a lot to myself….life has been so unfair to me, first an abusive childhood, then a very abusive marriage, now I’m facing a life threatening disease….I have always tried to be a good person and help the best I can to those I meet on this journey of life….

My elder brother (who sexually and physically abused me)…has as far as I know, has had a good life….while I struggled with what he did to me…..My husband (38 years married) passed away nearly 14 years ago and I’m still struggling at times from the ptsd, depression and anxiety he left me with…..Do I hate them? No…I have forgiven all who has hurt me….for my own peace of mind…forgiveness is not forgetting but it’s letting it go, releasing it from my daily thoughts…to try to live the best I can….

I don’t believe that all people are capable of doing harm to another…I know deep in my heart, that I would never intentionally hurt another human being or animal…no matter how far I’ve been pushed, and believe me I’ve been pushed very hard and for a very long time…I know and have felt the hurt and pain that can be inflicted on another person and I could never give another person that hurt and pain…

I think Dear Guest, that to live our best life with honesty, care and empathy for others is the best way to live….Their will always be evil and hurtful people that will use and manipulate others to get what they want….destroying families and strangers for their gain…

Im really deeply sorry, that you must have been hurt or know someone that has been hurt by one of these type of people…many of us here on the forums have been….surround yourself with beautiful caring people and walk away from bad or evil people…I don’t watch the news now for many years because it hurts to hear what is going on in this world….

The best way to cope with unfairness of life…is to be the best version of you that you can be….live everyday in the present, be grateful for small things in life, and be the caring, helpful and compassionate person that I know you are….

My kindest thoughts Dear Guest,

Grandy..

[therising]

The warmest of welcomes to you at a time of deeply challenging contemplation.

Depending on where our focus is directed, I believe we will find incredibly fair, compassionate, beautifully sensitive and caring people. Shift focus and we'll see and feel the worst of human nature. It makes sense that the latter type get whatever they want because they're self serving. It doesn't matter how they get it.

While I've become a bit of a 'woo woo' gal at 55, I maintain great faith in humanity because of how much I see changing in a positive direction. I enjoy YouTube videos produced by a number of people who are making so much of a soulful difference in this world. When I see the amount of subscribers or followers they have it actually blows my mind. It's about witnessing just how many people are shifting in the way they want to come to life. The want to come to it with a sense of compassion, generosity, open mindedness, a sense of love and support, community and more. They are just so fed up with the way the world has taken somewhat of a cruel, materialistic or superficial downshift. I've found one of the most liberating aspects of many of these videos to involve a questioning nature. It's not all rainbows, pixie dust and butterflies so to speak, it's about questioning the challenging nature of people and life and ways to navigate such factors.  

From the insanity of many political parties or governments, the faults within justice systems and other broken/outdated systems, the highly questionable nature of certain human beings and so on through to what helps facilitate a sense of mental and physical well being and a deeper or soulful sense of well being, there is so much to wonder about. The most open minded wonderful or wonder filled people are those who ask the tough questions such as 'How to cope with the fact life isn't always fair?' and 'How is it that so many evil people get so much good stuff while so many good people suffer?'. To be able to gain a sense of 'Why?' to so much of what can challenge us, someone needs to open the conversation. 

I'd never considered the state of the world in the following way until I heard someone mention something along the lines of 'With so much horrible stuff being brought to light these days or having light shed upon it, we can see it clearly. In the past, much remained in the dark, impossible to see'. It can be challenging to see and feel the nature of terrible things the moment we become conscious of them. In other words, ignorance is bliss.

[Picture]

 I do agree there is unfairness in the world and that is difficult. I feel all we can do is to try our best in the circumstances - which is of course not always easy. Focusing on self care, finding purpose and good relationships helps me, as does faith. When things are hard just focusing on the present also helps me. Wishing you the best