Hopeless situation

Lifeless_life · ‎16-09-2018

I feel trapped by my anxiety and depression on the inside I feel numb, lifeless and empty. I'm an almost 26 year old female who now lives back at home with her mum.I feel this sense of hopelessness and guilt living back at my mum's again.I feel as though I'm a burden on her especially since I have my dog and cat moving in with me too.I have recently broken up with my partner of almost 9 years.The last 6 years living with him I feel as tho I have been constantly lied to about my future by my ex partner. I dropped everything and moved an hour away from my family and friends to be with him and start a future together. Now I feel like I've just lost 6 years of my life I'll never get back.I suffer from anxiety and depression have done now for almost 10 years. I'm on DSP due to my anxiety being so bad I can't work. My last and only job I ever had worked was 6 years ago in childcare I loved my job but my anxiety really affected my ability to work. It got to much so I ended up leaving also because at the time I ended up moving with my now ex partner to another town.I feel in my position now I have a very difficult future ahead of me. I'm not improving much with my mental health and feel as though I'm losing my independence.I live in an area with not a great deal of support for my mental health also. I've been waiting 3 months to see a psychologist and I still can't get an appointment made yet.I would love to start a new life again where I could meet someone who I could actually trust.As well as gaining more independence and a place of my own to live. I've always wanted children as well one day but this all seems impossible now. Without a job or the ability to go out and socialize and meet new people my life is going nowhere. I don't want to be stuck in this situation for ever.

Santana · ‎16-09-2018

I am so sorry to hear you're feeling so badly at the moment. I also struggle with depression and have for many years. I was wondering if your gp has given you a mental health referral to see a psychologist and why it's taken so long. Could your doctor give you a list of people you could try to get an appointment with? Getting the right psychologist could really change things for you. I am glad you have a home with your mum, even if right now it feels like a step back. Hang in there, life is always changing and things will improve in time. You are not alone.

blondguy · ‎16-09-2018

Hello Lifeless

I understand what you are going through as I had the same chronic anxiety as you in my 20's and its an awful place to be in. Santana has helpful advice above re your GP..

Can I ask if you have a GP that you can talk to? GP's have much better training where anxiety is concerned compared when I was going through it in the 1980's.

I was a dill and didnt seek treatment when I had anxiety because I thought I could self heal....I was so wrong..It only made my anxiety worse.

The Good News! You wont be stuck in this situation forever LL. Anxiety is temporary yet it takes a heap of determination....time and patience to heal.....and it does heal with frequent counseling....and yes even from a GP....

Its only my humble opinion through my own experience....recovery can be helped by having frequent counseling

I used to have bad anxiety for many years LL. The forums are a Safe and nonjudgmental place for you to post

In a nutshell.....the earlier anxiety symptoms are treated to better the recovery.......the later we leave seeking help the symptoms can sometimes intensify

I hope you can make a double appointment with your GP asap. Even print out this thread and give it to them. I know when I leave my GP I always feel a lot better....

You are an amazing person for having the courage to post LL. Any questions or comments are more than welcome 🙂

you are not alone

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

Asremoteasitgets · ‎23-09-2018

Hello!

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling down and as if you hit rock bottom. I think though reaching out like you did and doing something about it is brave and is a great step to recovery! I am no expert, but the other day I watched a Ted talk by Nicole Arbour (that really offensive comedian lady yes), people don’t realise but she at one stage of her life was depressed, suicidal living in her relatives’ basement. If you google ‘Nicole Arbour Ted talk’ it’s the first video that comes up. She talks about step by step surrounding yourselves with things that promote positive energy and rejecting the ‘garbage’ in our environment. The video really gave me some energy as I am myself 26 and at a rather low point mentally.

I hope this may help you if only a little. Xxxx

Lifeless_life · ‎12-12-2018

Hi Santana,blondguy and Asremoteasitgets,

Thankyou so much for your reply’s I wasn’t really expecting to get any. I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to reply i just wasn’t feeling confident enough to post on here again for a while. I finally got in to see a phycologist about 4 months ago and have had about 3 or 4 appointments with her so far. Things are still pretty much the same for me at the moment but I’m trying focus on the positives in my life right now rather then the negative. I’m slowly getting back into doing a bit of craft again and going out as much as I can even if it’s to the supermarket for an hour. My phycologist is helping me set goals for my future so I have something to focus on even tho some of them seem impossible to me right now. I’m learning to drive at the moment so maybe getting a license one day will be a long term goal of mine. As for getting a place of my own still seems quite impossible at the moment as there is a shortage of rental properties where I live that are constantly going up in price and don’t allow pets. I’m at least lucky to have a roof over my head tho as I know many have it far worse off then I do. Thankyou so much for your help and support.

Smokingbolt · ‎13-12-2018

Your post really struck a chord with me as i am facing a lot of similar feelings that you describe. I'm a 27 year old guy and i feel like i've mucked my life up completely with stupid financial decisions and alcohol abuse in my early twenties. It's really difficult to experience that feeling of gnawing despair and you have to really fight for positivity and a vision for a better tomorrow. Sending positive thoughts your way.