Dear Joshua84~
I'd like to welcome you here to the forum. I can understand homesickness; I still very much miss my grandparents and the home I lived in with them at various times. I know them are gone, the house is probably a car park now, and it's all on the other side of the world anyway. While I do not live alone the feeling returns from time to time and can be quite intense, it was particularly when I first left them.
I write snippets about it in my thread ‘store your happy memories here’ which has helped, and many others have done similar there too.
I guess the thing is I did not realise how much I relied on them and the house as an anchor in my life until they were quite out of reach.
Now you are in unfamiliar surroundings and do not have the comfort of the place you had been used to, so maybe that has brought all your ‘missings’ to the front, mother and family as well as former home. I’m not a pych so that is a guess, it is how I would feel.
As to what to do at the moment I wonder if it is possible to contact members of your family, just to keep in touch? Perhaps also you might do something to personalize your new home, give it a flavor of you, maybe with pictures, furnishings, ornaments or whatever is suitable – make it seem less strange and alien.
I’m a bit worried about your panic attacks and feeling so deeply you cry. I’d suggest you consider having a talk with a GP and see if they can help in any way. My panic attacks were not just about one thing but can-on me in times of stress. I was diagnosed with an anxiety condition and seeing the doctor helped.
Another thing I’ve found helpful is to be kind to myself, and do that by reserving a time at the end of each day to do something I enjoy or at least distracts me. I use reading and look forward to it, maybe there is something that you might do -what do you think?
Croix
