Hi there, I am new here. Just saw this on here... I have been living with depression for over 30yrs

[Guest_60540607]

I get really tired.... an expert in doing all the recommended things, but not at living somehow.

I feel lately like I have been rearranging furniture in my soul, while feeling empty and robot like.

I am a professional and have my high functional persona, just so over it, very tired....

I am good at existing but not living some how....

I am great to being there for others, but so lonely at times....

[Sophie_M]

Hello LOL, 

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story with our community. 

It sounds like things have felt heavy for you for quite some time... it's no wonder you are feeling so tired. It seems like you are showing up for everyone else around you, with little space left for yourself?

This is very common for many people, so please know there is no judgement - only empathy and understanding. We aren't really taught that our feelings, needs, and desires matter too, are we? But they absolutely do matter and you're allowed to be happy. 

I'm curious, when do you last remember feeling more connected to your sense of joy? What were you doing differently? 

If you're not sure, can you start to become curious about the little moments throughout your day that help you to feel slightly lighter? For example, your morning coffee, a walk in the sun, a chat with a loved one, your favourite song. 

Maybe you'd also like to ponder upon what you'd be doing differently if there were no unspoken rules or guidelines you might have for yourself, no expectations - what would you love life to look like right now? Let yourself daydream! (I know this could be tricky at the moment, but notice what blocks come up - this can be an indicator as to what might need to shift too).  Please let us know your answers when you're ready, we can't wait to hear them! You are doing a wonderful job simply by showing up every day. Please be gentle with yourself and know that we are always here for you. 

Wishing you a lovely afternoon. 

Warm regards, 
Sophie M. 

[sbella02]

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been dealing with this. It's such a heavy feeling, being tired of doing what is normal or expected of us. Your analogy of rearranging furniture in your soul is so powerful - that's a good metaphor for what it can feel like to try and make changes to your life or mindset while feeling like you lack the appropriate tools or circumstances to do so.

There are a number of small things that I like to do to help me feel more invigorated in and around my everyday routine. I'm quite a creative person, and things like writing, singing, and crafting really make me feel very alive and excited. 

I'll pose the question to you, what makes you feel like you're living life well? What is most important to you in life, and what barriers might there be to achieving this? It could be something like visiting beautiful places, seeing loved ones, spending quality time with yourself doing activities of interest. If you consider your answers to these questions (you don't have to share if you don't want to), you may find that there are small ways to integrate some of these things into your routine, which may improve your day-to-day life.

Have you spoken to any loved ones about this, or about your feelings of loneliness? Would you feel comfortable doing so if you haven't? Sometimes it may help to chat to people who know you and are familiar with your life and experiences.

I hope this helps, please feel free to keep chatting if you wish, we're here for you.

Take care, SB