Hi....rant ahead

[Lycan]

I was wondering how taking pills can fill the emptiness from inside, I have had bipolar most my life, [ Im 55} and lately it is getting worse. I have asked my doctor for help, and he gave me new pills, but when i asked to speak to someone, he said i was not covered for that with government helping. I can see a podiatrist, or dietrician,or physiotherapist. My four children have grown up and left, and i have no real contact with them apart from the looking at their facebooks. They live near their father, who played the injured party throughout our marriage breakdown, and so i am this villain who left them. { I had no choice as hubby then was in navy, and i was booted out when i asked for a divorce]

Anyway, life seems so empty now, as my whole life resolved around my boys. I live on a disability, which has isolated me. My new hubby is my carer, but he has his own issues. trying harder and harder each day to find reasons to live. We have no life savings, no friends, no assets. I find myself trying harder and harder each day trying to find a reason to live. I keep looking for the silver lining at the end of the tunnel, but its only darkness. When i reach out, im condemmed for seeking attention.

help

[Croix]

Dear Lycan~

Welcome back, even if it is to rant:) I quite agree wiht you MH issues don't get the governmental support they need. I'm a bit surprised you cannot get a Mental Health Plan though.

I am glad you have someone with you, even if he has his problems too, being alone and limited is horrible.

You did have a cat with an Instagram account, still on the go I hope. I think I mentioned to you last year we have three pets, sadly one passed away but another has come, no electronic accounts or IDs though apart from microchips.

You were talking about hobbies before, which can be difficult without money, however on thinking it over there are some very interesting and worthwhile things one can do online (apart from fundraising). There is a website for Citizen Science with umpteen projects one can do at home from correcting historical documents to locating new asteroids. You may well find something to strike your fancy.

I also remember you enjoyed British comedy, my absolute all-time favorite is Yes (Prime) Minister. I even have a poster of Sir Humphrey to keep an administrative eye on me.

You are not going to be condemned here

Croix

[demonblaster]

Lycan Hi and welcome ☺

I find that very sad that you feel it hard to find reasons to live.

I too have BP and know how low the downs take us. Do you feel this way when you're not in Bipolar?

I'm a bit confused with GP saying you can't see anyone, to my understanding especially being on disibility pension you would be entitled for up to 10 visits to a counsellor psychologist including psychiatrist visits so I might be wrong but that doesn't sound right. You sound like you need to see someone to help you put some coping strategies in place.

Where you live I wonder could you join some clubs maybe or a sport or craft group to meet some people. Loneliness adds fuel to depression. Also a community centre might be able to help you connect with people.

I'm now part of two M.Health groups which is good cause everyone gets it. Maybe you might be able to access there too. Hope you're able to

If you wanted to talk to anyone the number here is 1300 224636 which is 24/7, they're good people that might be able to help.

Before you felt this way was there any hobbies or sports you enjoyed? I walk a few hills and play table tennis. I find walkings good stress release and out of the house being amongst its good.

Hope you're able to get onto some help.

You always have here when / if you need to chat ☺

Best to you darl

[Lycan]

Thank you for the reply. I am sorry it has been awhile. i get so forgetful, and let things pile up. I still have the Instagram account but i dont log in everyday. Sorry for the loss of your pet. I am searching for things to keep me busy. I play games on pc sometimes. I will speak up at my next doctors appointment for more help.

[Lycan]

Thanks for the reply, i should have added that if i go outside i have anxiety attacks. I wish i had a friend that could come out with me just for support, but i dont know anyone. I am speaking with my doctor again on the next appointment. Maybe he will listen.

[Croix]

Dear Lycan~

There is no rush to reply, whenever you remember is just fine. Yes the little dog passing away was horrible, but the new one - again from the pound - has so much character it is sometimes hard to realize she was not always with us.

Do you have a dog now? I find it helps me get exercise and makes a walk a lot more pleasurable. It also acts as a topic of conversation with people I meet along the way.

I hope you have some success in your next doctor's appointment, as both DB and I suspect there must be some way of getting a MH care plan.

Playing games on a PC can be pretty absorbing. Have you tried any computer games with other people?

Croix

[demonblaster]

Hey Lycan and Croix 😊

I'm not sure how it works other places but there's volunteer work I did a while back through our community centre where people can take people shopping, for a drive, phone calks, a visit etc. Maybe they may have a similar service where you are and someone might be able to go for walks with you.

Good point what Croix said about dogs being a conversation starter.

Hope your doing ok ☺

[Lycan]

Hi, I'm seeing my dr early tomorrow to tell him the pills dont help me.

My main problem is I would love a friend. But they run a mile when they hear you have bipolar. My own husband doesnt even listen to me. He has admitted to me that fact.

I have two cats. They are my friends.

I'm sad, lonely, and scared. Hopefully the dr can help me.

Sandy

[demonblaster]

Hey darl ☺ and all

It must be so stressful having such anxiety leaving your house. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Wondering this might be something you might like to try later if they can sort you with meds and counselling hopefully that could hubby walk very small distances as in to start just a minute out and focus on your breathing, looking around at nature. Gradually with absolutely no time limit or pressure on yourself increase in time.

Also it's very sadly a common occurence with MH issues that many people suffer isolation and loneliness. Maybe if you could contact a MH organisation in your area some people that are in your position wanting to meet people that could spend some time and walk with you or coffee and chat.

There are various versions you may be aware of with breathing through anxiety which basically is aimed at getting the oxygen flowing and redirecting your focus on breathing only, nothing else. A technique I've heard recently here is counting from 1 to 5 in and 5 to 1 out and as you exhale say to yourself relax, evidentally this is proven to help.

Cats are beautiful creatures aren't they. I love the affection and softness of them. Kittens are adorable widdle creatures.

Hoping your Doctor appointments productive. Be interested in hearing how you go. May I suggest you ask him why you're not able to get counselling.

You know darl the people that run a mile cause you have BP can keep running imo, you don't need them with their poor attitudes and lack of understanding and compassion in your life. There are good caring people out there and in time I'm hopeful you'll meet a few ☺

Take care

🐹🐭 🕊

[demonblaster]

Oop back so soon 😆

I haven't tagged it yet but there's a thread "Self help tips for anxiety" if you do a search might be of help.