Hanging onto the past… how do I move on?

[movingon1970]

I held mid senior management roles in 3 of the 4 Aussie banks before leaving banking to take on a senior role with a software business.  The change between roles came about due to back to back redundancies.

i left my last senior role in Jan 2016 ( a further redundancy)and have been unable to find a role of the same standing since despite more than 400 applications. One recruiter who I knew well smiled and told be that he hadn’t placed a white middle aged male for the previous 5 years… my heart sank.

for the past 6 years I have worked in a manufacturing role which  is killing me inside.

Over the past couple of years I’ve been told that my resume looks like it fell off a cliff…. I’ve no idea how to resolve this.

The 3 redundancies have really knocked my confidence and feeling of worth/ value.

the first of the 3 redundancies saw me given a box for my belongings and escorted from the premises. 

the last of the redundancies saw the MD back track on the package offered 

I think I have a lot to give, and hope that I don’t come across as done kind of victim.

I feel like I’m mourning the loss of my career. My mind is racing at night, I’m lucky if I get 4-5 hrs sleep, I’m always tired, my get up and go has got up and gone and for the past week in particular I have been super emotional often crying in the car etc.

[Croix]

Dear Movingon1970~

I'd like to welcome you here ot the forum. As you look around you will find others who have been trying to cope with loss of all sorts, so it was a good idea of yours to come here.

I'm sure you are grieving over the loss of one  career type. It is full of loss, betrayal, humiliation, anger plus deprivation of opportunity and easily grinds down one's sense of self worth - quite unjustifiably. If organizations shrink then people are jettisoned.

I was invalided out of the police and lost lifestyle, career, status, financial stability and sense of identity. I was in a bad place, and my family suffered as a result, I was not easy to live with

I was fortunate that eventually my partner suggested I did some tertiary study which I approached without enthusiasm. I was surprised, I enjoyed the subjects, had an aim again -to pass , had identity -student and was no longer isolated from other peple.

This lead to an unexpected avenue, I was invited to teach, which I found challenging and enjoyable

Now I'm not suggestion study is a remedy for you, however doing something you like is. You are currently in a job you dislike, maybe you can look around for something that appeals, even if the financial side is not as good (obviously I do not know you  circumstances)

You do need support, as did I. I had hterapy and medication as my problems were not limited to greif, and I'd suggest you see a GP and explain how you have been feeling, then see what is suggested. Life can be so much better than it is now.

May I ask if you have any personal support, a partner, family or friend who you can lean on for a bit, talk frankly wiht and feel cared about? Trying to cope wiht all this in isolation is extra hard.

You know you are welcome here anytime

Croix

[movingon1970]

Thanks Croix.

Fortunately I have a great wife who is supportive. As this has been going on for so long I’m so bored of telling the story.

As for tertiary training, when I thought the last senior job might be going pop, I did do a cert Iv in training and assessment…. Which I really enjoyed but alas has lead to nothing due to my lack of experience in the field. 

I’ve absolutely no idea what I’d like to do moving forward …. My best successes have been sorting out messes others have made. I’m not sure how the job site algorithm trickery works with assessing a resume against that 🙂

I will see the GP to look at what he can do.

thanks again for taking the time to reach out … it is appreciated 

[Croix]

Dear Movingon1970~

I"m very glad you have a supportive and understanding partner, it makes a huge difference.

Now I did not mean that study suited everyone, just happened to click wiht me, not planned, serendipity.

You mentioned a job site algorithm, which I guess you are using web-sites or Centercare to find a job. I'd also imagine you might have used the usual sites. There is another you may not have come across

https://probonoaustralia.com.au/

This NFP listing, contrary to it name advertises paid employment, but tends to be in interesting fields (including our own organisation:)

Can I suggest when you see your GP you book an extended appointment and be very frank, leaving nothing out, even if frightening or embarrassing (something I found quite hard to do)

Croix

[movingon1970]

Doctor appointment booked, appointment with a recommended recruiter also booked. 🙂

[Croix]

Dear Movingon70~

Sounds as you are right on top of it, if you felt like letting know how you get on that would be great

Croix

[movingon1970]

Hey Croix,

My meeting with the recruiter/ talent manager went well…. Turns out it’s not all doom and gloom…. Just gotta believe that.

We have a plan in progress to rewrite resume and promote me more realistically.

Appt and follow up appt with GP was useful… referral to psychologist received. Just now waiting for the psychology practice to follow up my request. All feels very surreal.

[Croix]

Dear  Movingon1970~

I'm really pleased, you have coped wiht the two things that most disturbed you and made a reasonable and hopeful plans for the future. Maybe now life will improve for boht oyu and your wife who has been supporting you.

I'm also glad you are not facing things alone, having a psychologist to talk things over with for a while will most probably be of great assistance, I know my sessions with my psych certainly are.

Good, bad or indifferent we care about you and your life, so I you feel like keeping in touch that would be excellent

Croix