had to resign from apprenticeship

[luke_c]

hi i've been in a pretty tough situation lately, had to resign from my apprenticeship this week due to a combination of things. i was almost in my 2nd year as a fitter. i wasn't meeting the training requirements of my trade since my employer didn't have the resources in place to train me and i was always getting put on adhoc tasks which i never done before and had no idea what to do a lot of the time, i felt like i was being held back by my co workers and wasn't allowed to do many things even though i had 6 years experience as a trade assistant prior to this job. But I think the biggest things was that i was bullied and belittled by one of my co workers and he was like that ever since i started. i first complained to my manager 6 months ago since he was doing things that were against company policy, we had a meeting we shook hands and i thought we could move on. the manager asked us to communicate more, which after that i kept making an effort to have a conversation with him but he didn't want to. 3 months later, behind closed doors, he was belittling me and treating me as if i were a child, while almost yelling at me when i was doing a task. I knew something wasn't right because to everyone else who worked there he'd say hello to them every morning but he'd never say hi or talk to me. i brought this up with hr, they listened to my complaint, they then talked to him the next day. the day after that they took his side as obviously he was concealing the real truth and pretty told me to put up with it and take direction. i wasn't happy with the outcome so i spoke to one or two of the office staff in private and they said he has been abusive to them at times and done things that were against company policy. fast foward to early this week, i walk in the canteen at 5:50am in the morning and again, he didn't say hello or talk to me (even though i shook hands with him a few days earlier). at 6am work started we had our morning meeting, he then started belittling me again calling me "the apprentice", it's like he thinks he's above me. i thought ok, i'll let it slide, but i was then sent to dig holes all day by the manager and it was eating away at me since i felt really depressed working here. i then resigned later that morning because after 10 months, i couldn't tolerate it anymore. i was sleepless later that night and it's only this morning i'm starting to get over it, thinking about that guy makes me upset and he's the main reason i resigned.

[therising]

Hi lukecalv84

I have an enormous amount of respect for you, given your decision to resign from a situation that had simply become intolerable. Given some of the mismanagement of management and the intolerable level of immaturity from that particular co-worker, you could say your decision to resign has now defined you as 'someone who cannot co operate with mismanagement' and 'someone who can not tolerate working alongside people who are so immature to the point where it becomes enraging and/or depressing'. When people say stuff like 'I can't believe you quit', a simple reply could be 'I simply decided to quit the sh**, out of respect for myself'. Excuse the language.

Would you say your goal now is to continue your apprenticeship under new management you can fully respect? If so, might be a matter of ramping up some degree of sensitivity so that when you go for a new position you can gain a really good sense of what kind of manager you're talking to. Trust what you sense. If they feel very dismissive, that's not the boss for you. If you get a sense they have a bit of an 'old school' mentality when it comes to the trade industry (aka 'get your sh** together and don't come to me with your problems') also not the boss for you. If you get a sense that they're genuinely a good person and interested in being of service to you in the way of you and your apprenticeship, they're someone definitely worth considering working for. Basically, you'll be interviewing your potential boss while they're also interviewing you. What questions would you consider asking in such an interview?

Keep in mind, while you've now moved forward by having left that place, that triggering employee may never move forward in the way of evolving as they possibly remain quite happy being who they are. Strange to think, some folk are actually proud of being immature, closed minded and depressing. There are some strange people out there 😁

Wishing you only the best as you move onward and upward. Be proud of your decision to leave.

[luke_c]

Thanks mate there were plenty of times where I questioned myself in the job and maybe thought I was too sensitive but looking back I only get upset when there's a good reason to, and I was trying to stay there to improve my work history. Lessons learnt I guess, I already got 2 interviews lined up next week and I'll be interviewing them as well like you said. We spend most of our waking hours at work so we should be treated with respect and looked after and be appreciated for our efforts

[Emotions26]

Hello  luke-c and therising

I love this thread.

luke-c you opened up and spoke your truth as is how life should be. You spoke your truth standing up to people who do not possess the courage and strength that you have.

You then spoke your truth here.

You read the response of therising which was empowering.

You read and heard. Many people do not possess the strength to move on from what has hurt them even when given sound advice.

I am not surprised at all that you have 2 interviews lined up.

You are even stronger as a result of your own strength in leaving a toxic dysfunctional environment.

You will find the right job and right employer for you as therising advised. Interview them for your needs.

I have been through bullying at work in the past by people who are usually intimidated as they recognise strong work ethics that they do not possess themselves. You have this.

Please do not listen to people who tell you that you are too sensitive.

You can never be too  sensitive.

Sensitivity is a gift is you possess this. Do not let shallow people who do not have this take that gift away from you.

It is actually an important component of your strength.

It will  serve you well in all  areas of your life.

Learn to set boundaries and protect yourself though.

Good luck on  this next journey

Thank you therising you reminded me of my strength all those years ago. It is so very easy to forget our achievements when we struggle isn't it.

I do hope that others gain from this thread.

Emotions26

[David35]

A man, or woman, can only take so much crap. Good on you. You've valued yourself more than they did. Wishing you all the success. I can't stand bullies. The thing with bullies is that it's never about others. It's about their own insecurities. They feel threatened by someone who might be better than them. In the end the only person they truly loathe is themselves.

[luke_c]

thanks dave, yea your right i could only take so much crap, i'm pretty proud of myself the way i handled it. i didn't get a goodbye from anyone there when i left (except the hr lady) and they cut me off from social media, oh well i think that it's on them and i did what i could to be reasonable and respectful to them. there was a backstabbing culture there and it was the tradies vs the office staff. anyway, i've moved foward now and i start a new job next week working at a civil earthmoving and truck company and the bloke who interviewed me seemed like a straight up sort of guy who is supportive and doesn't have time for people who aren't respectful, he did have some expectations but i don't think i'll have trouble meeting them, i'm confident in myself since i've had a few years experience now. just want to settle in a place for a solid 3-5 years so it looks good on my resume. there are opportunities for an apprenticship later on as a diesel ,mechanic there and i'd happy to take that on. i have goals to get my trade cert and then keep doing post trade night courses at tafe like a cert 4 or diploma. the good thing about smaller companies especially family businesses is that their normally more supportive and everyone just gets in and does their work, larger places i find have too much hr and political nonsense.

[luke_c]

and it didn't end after i resigned and finsihed there, there were still after me and stalked me on my instagram accounts! i did not mention the company once and grill them and i didn't say anything bad about the employer, just the experience i had with that bully, all i said was that i was builled at the job i just finished and spoke thruthfully about my experience and how i had to pull the pin, no names were mentioned and next thing i know i get an email to take it off, otherwise they claim they could do me for defermation, i think it's just scare tactics more than anything, it's like tehir invading my privacy. i just want to move on and live a normal life and be myself.