Gods, I wonder sometimes what I did in this life or a past one, to earn my lot in life currently.
I'm 24, diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, and chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm 20+ kg heavier than my 'usual' weight. I'm utterly broke and unable to work but knocked back by Centrelink. I could go on.
It seems that every time I feel as if I've hit rock bottom, the ground collapses under me and I fall further.
My partner used to be the kind of person who would hold me and fit all my pieces back together. Now I feel like he's standing there gaping at the volume of pieces shattering from me, struggling to cope himself with my issues.
How long before I truly hit rock bottom and start ascending again? What must I endure before I'm permitted to recover my life?
I don't recognise myself in the mirror. I don't feel like myself at all. I feel as if I'm watching myself in an out-of-body experience, I'm struggling that much to comprehend that this is actually my life. That this is all just a long and very bad dream I must surely waken from soon.
All energy and passion for life is drained from me. Anything I've ever wanted or enjoyed doing continues to slip through my fingers.
I'm an utter mess, and I don't know what to do anymore.
