Feeling Stuck...

[Little_Deer]

I frequently have feelings of being stuck and feeling like I should be further along in my life. I feel like I should be more successful and more stable.

I was recent diagnosed with Bipolar and found that this feeling is something associated with my Bipolar.

I have a decent, well paying job in a call centre. But I really don't like it. I find it difficult to cope with a lot of the pressure associated with the work and the contract we work under. I feel very pressured as a whole.

This is another area where I feel stuck. I want to keep the job because of the money, and my partner and I are getting our own place soon hopefully. But I'm not at all happy in my job and I'm struggling and suffering. It also makes it hard to arrange meetings with my psychs because they mostly work on weekdays. I should also mention that I'm dropped a shift a week to try and help myself but right now, I'm not into it at all.

Does anyone else feel like this, any solutions or tips?

Thank You ❤️

LD

[White_Rose]

Hello Little Deer

Thank you for your story and sharing it with us. I am not well up on Bipolar but there are many people on this site who have this illness. You may want to join the thread in the the Long Term Threads/This Bipolar Life. It was started when someone was diagnosed with Bipolar and follows her story for a while. There are many posts on this thread so you may like to read some of the first posts to get the idea of how it works then go to the last couple of pages and join in the conversation. You may find the answers to some of your questions there.

Wanting to be more successful and stable is a goal for just about everyone here. Our definitions of success and stability may differ but the journey is the same, lots of hard work.

Do you have a picture of what being successful means to you? For you is it being married and having babies, getting a specific type of job, buying your own home, travel?

With your job, I can understand the frustrations of working with a stressful environment. I gather there is some shift work involved and that is always difficult. May I suggest you think of your skills, Do you have a job in mind that would use these skills. It's better to have some idea of what you want in a job rather than apply for any job going and perhaps ending up in another stressful situation.

At the moment your job is helping you to buy a house which is great. The question is, are you prepared to stay there until you have a good deposit and perhaps looking for another job at the same time, or do you only want to find some other work so you can leave ASAP and get rid of the stress.

It's a difficult decision and one you may like to discuss with your psych. I noticed you said psychs, is this a typo or do you have several psychs? Can you make appointments to see your psych on the same day and time in the future. I found this was a tremendous help. If you have a regular time ask for it to be considered when shifts are drawn up. In the short term it will reduce one of your concerns.

How do you get on with your psych? Do you feel you have a good relationship? As I understand it Bipolar and any medication you have, can take a while to get used to. By the very nature of Bipolar you will experience ups and downs in your mood which is why you and your psychs need to have some very clear strategies to cope with this.

I'm pleased you have written in here. Hope you will continue.

Mary

[quirkywords]

Hello Little deer,

Welcome to the forum.

I was diagnosed with bipolar over 40 years ago, and even though I have been stable for many years, I can relate to that stuck feeling.

I wonder are you comparing yourself to others? I used to feel I was in a rut even though I am lucky to have my own business. It is hard when you have money pressures but you have to weigh it up with your health as well.

Since you recently diagnosed it maybe confusing to find out what is your pattern and what stable means to you.

I agree with White rose, to find the bipolar life, thread. It is a supportive group.

Hope to hear from you again. I like your name.

Quirky

[Little_Deer]

Thank you both for your responses.

I'll check out the threads you both mentioned.

At this point, I'm saving but when we move, it won't be to buy, we'll be renting. I'm happy with this, completely.

Oh, and with psychs, I have a psychologist and psychiatrist at the moment, and unfortunately, my job, although very flexible, wouldn't be that flexible in that respect of my appointments.

I guess I am comparing myself to others, in some sense, but I just feel like I should be further along with my life. I feel like I should be settled by now.

My psychologist mentioned studying as an option, which is something I have completely considered. But I'm not sure if my studying allowance would cover rent, food, bills and other expenses. I can look for work in the area, that's no problem and with my rostered days off, I could attend interviews no problem. I also feel like I'm letting my partner down if I move into a different job that may not be full time. He works part time but is looking for full time work.

Sometimes I just wish I could become a successful author. I guess that's where I can answer that question... Success, for me, would be being financially sound, or having a decent job that I enjoy, or even working for myself, if I could. I'd love to write for a living, to share my experiences and write stories etc I'm good at writing too, an it's something I really enjoy.

I just don't know.

Thank you so much for your help, both of you, it really is appreciated.

[White_Rose]

Hello Little Deer

Writing is great. What do you write about? I write poetry, mainly Japanese Haiku (in English of course). There is a lovely feeling about creating something that gives joy to me and hopefully to others. All successful authors need to start at the bottom and work up. The advantage of writing is that you can do it practically anywhere. No need to carry reams of paper around with you or try to remember that great idea you have just had.

You can work towards your success all the time. Working in your current job does not stop you from writing at home. Many of the world's great writers have started this way. A job to put food on the table and free time to write.

Do you have any ideas about starting your own business? What would it be? I have found people who have the most amazing ideas for their own business. The trick is to do something no one else has thought of.

There is no need to actually attend uni, you can earn your degree online. Most, if not all universities have online degrees or at least some subjects. It's this time of the year when school leavers are deciding what degree to study and lots of information easily available. Browse the universities and see what they have to offer.

No one 'should' be further along with their lives. Comparing yourself to others is quite pointless because you do not know the whole story of someone else. You must concentrate on your path and always remember you are doing what you want, not what you think others want you to do.

Mary