Feeling lost and hopeless

[Jez20]

Hi everyone, I am currently sitting on my bathroom floor feeling very lost and hopeless. I am 24 years old and have experienced depression since I was 16. I visited numerous psychologists and counsellors and finally about a year ago after experiencing panic attacks and felt I had enough of talking and my GP put me on medication.

Over the last year I felt better than I had in years, however, over the last few weeks I have been waking up feeling sad and finding it difficult to get to work. I have had a family member in hospital and have been running around looking after everyone and have been feeling very exhausted so this might be playing a part. This morning I have called in sick to work, am feeling guilt, sad and I feel as though depression will be something I will battle my whole life and that it will continuously be something that will affect my daily life: feeling extremely negative and hopeless. 

[JessF]

Hello Jez, I think you have written some very important things about recognising some triggers that can explain your current mood. Family member in hospital: very upsetting. Running around looking after everyone: exhausting, and anxiety inducing, because you'll be worrying if everyone else is ok.  Then when you finally get home, you breathe out, and there's nothing left. You just crash.  This, dare I say, is normal stress for what is a sad and uncertain time in your life.  

The good news is that you are able to see that things have been improving for you this year.  Just because you take a step back doesn't mean that all is lost.  This will happen throughout life.  But you will get better at coping with it each time.  I mentioned in another thread that I see it like tides.  The tide comes in, and you feel overwhelmed, but just knowing that the tide does go out again can give you the strength to ride the waves until they go.  

In the meantime, recognsiing what is stressing you out is a good place to start.  Do you think you're taking on too much?  With the running around and looking after everyone... is there someone who can help you with this?  Does it have to be you doing all the running around?  

[White_Rose]

Hello Jez and Jess

I want to agree with everything Jess has said. Would that make this the shortest post?

Jez, welcome to Beyond Blue. We all have these crises in our lives. Most unfortunate, but they are nothing to do with your depression. All this extra worry and work is normal in this situation and being tired and sad is the normal reaction. Your medication is working OK as you have not collapsed in a heap, which I suspect you may have done before these troubles.

So accept that no matter how many ADs you take, when troubles like these appear you are going to be upset. And what's more, you will recover far faster than if this was an increase in your depression. Unfortunately, pills can't cure everything.

You are managing very well. Taking a few hours off work is reasonable and sensible so that you do not over tire yourself. You are coping fantastically. When you relative is well and everything settles down again so will you.

Just imagine what would have happened if you had not been taking ADs. Doesn't bear thinking about. So congratulations on coping and keep us in the loop on how things are going.

Mary