Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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JamieT No reason its just there...
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I have reluctantly (but willingly) joined this forum in an attempt to address an issue that I wasn't aware of until recently. I am 29 years old and I have a young daughter who lives with her mother and a gorgeous partner who is by my side every step ... View more

I have reluctantly (but willingly) joined this forum in an attempt to address an issue that I wasn't aware of until recently. I am 29 years old and I have a young daughter who lives with her mother and a gorgeous partner who is by my side every step of the way. I do however, find myself questioning purpose and have experienced symptoms related to depression mainly around loss of interest at work, personal connections and in personal development. There are periods in the day where I am trapped inside my own head having off topic thoughts and running scenarios of discussions and actions which I rarely act upon. My days are filled with distractions and lack of productivity which is highly unnatural to me and it is bleeding from work into personal elements of my life. There are also periods of the day that I feel disconnected from my old friends and family as I emigrated to Australia to "live the dream".Depression/Anexiety/Low self esteem caused by the ebb and flow of life, amplified with the pressure of needing to be a strong and reliable man/father/protector/boss/money earner built up over well I do not know when it was all a distant memory. A recent 11 year relationship break up seems to be the trigger to some of this but I would not say all of it. There are elements in my life which are high pressure and there are elements that I can relax. Alcohol has become a problem but one in which I am dealing with progressively. I have recently been to the doctors who were supportive but could tell this was not a topic i was open to discuss with a stranger (i know right on the internet is much safer). I feel a lot of support around this issue is direct to women and the elderly who have loss/emotional experiences that lead to their feelings. I am in full support to these people but I haven't really found support around the issues I am experiencing. To be honest I am not even sure myself what they are so how could I trust someone to tell me to take/do this if I am not sure what I am telling them is the truth or my version of it! What am I looking for on this forum? The opportunity to connect with similar guys in my situation where there is no questionnaire or diagnosis that I can't lie around to get a "moderate" result. To hear about activities that others have undertaken to get positive results and any advice that is available for someone who thinks they might be depressed, shows all the symptoms of low level depression but doesn't really have any reason to be.

Chocolate_lover So sad & angry all the time.
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Yesterday I finally plucked up the courage to go to my gp. i have been sooooo tired for the last 3-6mo months and I'm constantly finding reasons to be angry at someone, cause it makes more sense then just being angry at nothing or worse still crying ... View more

Yesterday I finally plucked up the courage to go to my gp. i have been sooooo tired for the last 3-6mo months and I'm constantly finding reasons to be angry at someone, cause it makes more sense then just being angry at nothing or worse still crying over nothing??!! It doesn't make sense, it's as if I've forgotten how to be happy, or how to find enjoyment in anything! I used to love playing with my kids, now I find excuses not too because I'm scared of what I might feel, why is that ? My kids are the light in my life but I can't smile with them..... That's not logical ??? my hubby says that he can't take my mood for much longer, and I don't blame him, I don't want to be with me why would he? I'm usually a very logical, light hearted person but last week I went away for work and on my way home on the second day I became overtly anxious that I needed to say goodnight to my kids...... Logically I knew they would be doing their homework and getting ready for bed after their sport activities in the afternoon but it didn't reduce the panic I felt at not hearing them and saying goodnight??? I don't understand why I feel this way, I feel I can't speak about it in my small country town because my job is a high stress position which requires me to support highly traumatised people, but I can't go on like this........ I'm sooooo tired all the time and my body aches 80% of the time! I can't find my motivation let alone show some capacity to be an understanding mum/wife.

Paul Do you like photographs of yourself?
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Do you like pics of yourself? Regardless of the answer, how do they affect your depression/anxiety? Paul

Do you like pics of yourself? Regardless of the answer, how do they affect your depression/anxiety? Paul

Chris D My Story
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Hi, Depression, I first felt depressed in my late primary school years being picked on and called names certainly didn't help, As the months and years went on my depression became worse through high school where more bullying was happening on a daily... View more

Hi, Depression, I first felt depressed in my late primary school years being picked on and called names certainly didn't help, As the months and years went on my depression became worse through high school where more bullying was happening on a daily basis. I thought I had good friends but I found that when I left high school I realised they weren't friends at all, I was in such a deep dark hole. I became very isolated when I left school no social life or friends when all the while I knew and felt I was becoming more depressed, this was compounded by not telling anyone about my depression and about the bullying as I had lost all faith in teachers looking out for students like myself they didn't stop the bullying in fact it got worse if the students knew I told on them. I did so many courses in the immediate years leaving school in the hope of getting a job, nothing came up even though I completed so many courses this just crushed me inside I so desperate to get a job. It was in 2005 when a medical condition I have had to be operated on as I was legally blind at the time of surgery, everything seemed so dark and so hard with my depression getting worse with each month, the unemployment at the time becoming a real issue and recovering from a transplant to save my sight, I was in a hole. My first real opportunity came in 2007 where I started work at a local fast food franchise, initially it was such a good feeling to be able to work and to feel like I was contributing in some way. While at McDonalds the environment changed and I felt my depression was coming back it did in a big way, in 2012 I left McDonalds I had to leave. I left at the start of 2012 during this time I enrolled in an automotive course while looking for work. In 2013 little did I know this was the year where my depression would come to ahead, it did in August having spent almost 2 years unemployed. It was at this point that I was able to speak to someone and finally tell how I was feeling, I never told anyone I had depression for 14-15 I kept this dark secret to myself. As I am describing how I am feeling I am waiting to go to hospital my first visit. I stay in hospital for a week or so it was horrible, I come back home only to find I cannot stop crying I needed to find support services and groups. I quickly found some support services and groups who help and assist people like myself. I became involved in there programs and groups without knowing how much they would help me, they helped me a great deal thinking about it now. In 2014 I was still not a 100% my depression was still evident and I still had a drive to work but I needed to help myself first so I could work. In March I had my 2nd hospital admission this time at more suitable better environment hospital I knew each time before during and after a hospital visit I was making progress, later in the year I had my 3rd and final hospital visit which helped me just that bit more. Not long after being out from hospital I grabbed an opportunity without knowing how much it would help me it got me back into work and it was that decision that one last bit of hope that has turned out to be one of my best decisions ever. I grabbed at the chance to get back into the workforce and I haven't looked back since. This year I have made so much progress that I would never had though about making. I hope to anyone who reads this gets inspired to keep on going because just when you feel like giving up it can take just that one chance one opportunity to turn your life around and make some serious progress. Always cling onto hope never let it go and always seek help and support when you feel you need too. Take care all Chris

PeachieQ I'm just blah, and I don't know why
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Hi, I just joined this group. I'm not really a 'forum user' but might become oneI'm just feeling like shit, I think it may be depression. I was put on treatment for depression/stress/anxiety a couple of years ago. I think it helped at the time but th... View more

Hi, I just joined this group. I'm not really a 'forum user' but might become oneI'm just feeling like shit, I think it may be depression. I was put on treatment for depression/stress/anxiety a couple of years ago. I think it helped at the time but then I had that 'zombie, can't be bothered doing anything, never feel happy or sad or anything' type of life, so I did the cold turkey . That sucked bad but withina few weeks I felt better. Now I'm just blah, and I don't know why. I've got a gorgeous son, an amazing fiance that loves me, a successful little business. Why aren't I happy?

Chicken_Wings I Don't Know What I'm Doing
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I've been dealing with depression & anxiety since 2000. This isn't new to me.But every time I get into a real bout, I find myself floundering. Right now, I wake up every morning at about 5am with a huge weight on my chest. I know what it is and I kno... View more

I've been dealing with depression & anxiety since 2000. This isn't new to me.But every time I get into a real bout, I find myself floundering. Right now, I wake up every morning at about 5am with a huge weight on my chest. I know what it is and I know why it's there and it's not welcome. I try to do breathing exercises & relax so I can get that extra 2 hours before my alarm goes off. But most of the time my efforts are fruitless and I just toss and turn feeling horrible. I can only seem eat at dinner time which to me is a marker of my mood.I've been going to work, but I haven't been able to bring myself to put on any makeup or even brush my hair. I just throw on some clothes and put my hair in a bun.I get there and I just feel miserable. I try to engage with people, but even whilst I'm talking to them I have these thoughts & feelings nagging away at me. I can barely do my work. I'm slower and less creative, which is bad because my job requires me to be creative.This all stems from fear. I'm pretty much afraid of everything. I'm afraid of crowds, I'm afraid of new places. For a while I was afraid of food, I'm afraid I will fall apart when my dog dies. I'm afraid of getting sick, I'm afraid of other people getting sick, I'm afraid of losing people and not being in control and most of all I'm afraid of death. My mother lives in the UK has cancer and I know she will not recover from it. I don't know how long she has, but I am absolutely petrified of losing her & I think that is the catalyst for this current recurrence of my anxiety & depression. I'm terrified of flying, but I know if I want to see her, I have to. But feeling the way I do is making it even harder. She has been my rock my entire life & the thought of a world without her in it leaves me feeling absolutely hopeless.Today is the first day I just haven't been able to go to work. I woke up this morning and just couldn't face it. I actually thought I had a pretty good day yesterday & even felt hungry, until I got home & burst into tears for no real reason & started talking about death.My partner is so understanding. He has depression also so knows this will pass, & so do I, I know this isn't forever. But right now, as I sit here, I have those same thoughts I have every time this happens "what if it doesn't go away this time?".I don't know if I'm meant to ride this out, push it until it goes away, acknowledge it and work through it. I feel like I've done all these things before & it keep coming back.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

lunadappio My dark passenger
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I think of my depression as a dark passenger that arrives whenever he feels like it, for a journey. It can be a long trip or occasionally a short one. I have been able to avoid him for a while but there he is again, taking up a space in the car for a... View more

I think of my depression as a dark passenger that arrives whenever he feels like it, for a journey. It can be a long trip or occasionally a short one. I have been able to avoid him for a while but there he is again, taking up a space in the car for a ride. I have been managing my depression and anxiety without medication or counselling for a few years now. I try to look after myself but at the moment it is getting harder. I am finding it hard to see the positive in anything, including myself. The panic is rising and it gets harder to keep it under control. I just felt like i needed to find a place to speak, without judgement. It can be hard in our lives to feel that we can speak about our feelings without people making light of our circumstances. I have been reading posts on here all day and I think this place is amazing. I would love to hear from others who have a passenger with them or understand what I mean.

OU812 A long walk....
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First time poster, psychologist gave me some web pages to check out after sitting some sessions , part of my mental plan ,where to begin.... it has been an exhausting few years, I seem to be in a downspiral at the moment , suffering from depression, ... View more

First time poster, psychologist gave me some web pages to check out after sitting some sessions , part of my mental plan ,where to begin.... it has been an exhausting few years, I seem to be in a downspiral at the moment , suffering from depression, anxiety and sleep issues. i currently have this sleep issue, a dream which has occurred a few times exactly the same way where I am thinking that I could die if I swallowed something in a way and in my dream I swallow it and I wake up gasping for air , this scares the crap out of my wife. i think these issues I have are taking a toll on my wife,I'm worried all the time that this might be too much for her. I try to explain things to her the best I can, I just always seem to be in a flat mood all the time, sometimes some glimpses of happiness, but doesn't seem to last long . I have 2 children on the autism spectrum, my son had a head operation when he was very young due to his head fusing too quickly when he was born, they are great kids - I do try to give them whatever I have left at the day. i am struggling at the moment to see them, I have been doing shift work for the last 6 years and 14 days a month I don't see them or am in a limited state of mind. i do the shift work because it's comfortable for me, I don't see a lot of people during the time only for overlapping hours from normal shift workers for a coupe of hours later in the morning or first thing in the Arvo. from what I do I don't seem to be open with people , only when they are in my direct path , I wouldn't call myself a very sociable person, I try, I just don't think people see that in me and I suppose I have missed out on a lot of opportunities. i suppose it really comes down to me being confident which I have never had due to a bad relationship with my father, it's weird now.. Only now at the end is my father tolerable , we get along but I can still see the bad things I seen as a child, now I just feel sorry for him and disappointed . i think mostly about regrets these days. i remember when I was around 15 I had a girl come up to me, this is a girl I had the biggest crush on , she asked me out and I asked " are you serious?" She ran off and cried, I assume I said this the wrong way as I would have said yes if I thought it wasn't a prank or something. I tried to explain but her friends wouldn't let me near her. lots of little things in my head, sorry if this is all over the place and a long read . 28 characters left...4321

Setsail001 Maintaining relationships when suffering with depression
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Hi everyone..I'm new and not sure if a similar thread already exists but if it does, I couldn't find it!I'm in my mid twenties and I've struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 15. As you all probably know what it feels like - the ups and th... View more

Hi everyone..I'm new and not sure if a similar thread already exists but if it does, I couldn't find it!I'm in my mid twenties and I've struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 15. As you all probably know what it feels like - the ups and the terrible downs and then the ups again, it's gone on and on and I try my best to remain positive although some days, the best I can do is just get out of bed. For the last 5 months, I've been in a relationship with a lovely guy. This is my first serious relationship in about 8 years. But on my bad days when I can't stop crying I want to push him away and I want to break it off with him so he doesn't have to deal with me and my depression. have any of you struggled with this? Any tips? Thanks

anamcara2 Poor choices my whole life
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Hi there, this is my first post. I have been on medication for two years and twice I have been to my GP to get advice on free councilling but I don't follow it up because I feel so foolish. I think I have been depressed most of my adult life but neve... View more

Hi there, this is my first post. I have been on medication for two years and twice I have been to my GP to get advice on free councilling but I don't follow it up because I feel so foolish. I think I have been depressed most of my adult life but never recognised it as such. I used to believe I was a really nice kind person and couldn't understand the terrible things that happened to me. Now I know I am not a nice person at all and I have chosen my own fate time and time again. I'm trying to be a better person but I'm also realising now I'm not too smart either. Every decision I make to improve my life seems to be a poor one. I understand I can't outrun the depression so my questions are : how do I stop comparing myself to others. Others who can make it through the hard times in marriage. Others who are good parents. Others who are talented and are smart enough to work hard at that talent and achieve a level of success they are happy with whether at work, home hobbies, sport etc. others who finish what they start. Others who can accept who they are and be happy. Others who have a passion. Even others who make similar mistakes as I but don't seem to suffer the consequences. I know comparison is a fools thinking and I know I have not walked in others shoes. I just wish I had it in me to lead a successful life. I just don't know how to accept who I have been put on this earth to be and I definitely don't know how to accept how me thinking like this has affected my children. I have never really had a mind of my own and when I finally took charge I completely and utterly made a mess of that too. In the past I did fall into the trap of expecting things and others to make me happy. Now I know only I can do that ... except I can't. I've failed at that too.