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Feeling hopeless and lost
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I gave up everything to be where I am now. But when I finally started to find a job and started work, it seems like nothing's going my way. I've considered changing profession but I don't want my family to be disappointed as they have high expectations. I feel like a failure all the time. I have trouble getting asleep and I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
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Izzy, first off welcome to the beyondblue forums. I can assure you that it is a very highly supportive place and is filled with people with lived experience of mental health conditions so again, welcome.
Living to other people's expectations is a very hard place to live. Ideally it would be great if you could live by your own expectations and not worry about others of you, but how do you get there?
I think the best way to start, especially as you are having trouble sleeping, is to book a visit to the GP and have a talk about what you are thinking and going through at the moment. This may result in a referral to a psych and that is fine, it is what they are there for.
You may or may not be diagnosed with a mental health condition and if this happens, please do not stress to much. 1 in 7 males and 1 in 5 females will have depression and 1 in 5 males and 1 in 3 females will have anxiety throughout their lifetimes which equals - you are not alone in this journey.
When you say your family has high expectations of you, is that just your parents or your parents, siblings, Aunts, Uncles etc?
I think to answer your post, I need some more information. Are you working in an industry that you have always worked in but when you got there, it was not as good as you expected?
Please post back and lets see if we can work out what is going on.
Mark.