feeling alone and depressed

[New_Member]

Hi, im new to this, I had a little girl a little over a year ago and during my pregnancy i had a pretty rough time, was told we might need to terminate (but she turned out perfect) and then i lost my dad. My partner works away and I have no family support. Im finding things quite difficult as a first time mum, im feeling very alone, like no one cares, i have a very supporting a helpful fiance but still I am finding myself very unhappy and stressed and unhappy about life. My mum and I were very close before our little girl arrived and now I barely hear or have visits from her. Also, its hard to explain but i am still friends with my ex whom ive known for (20 years) and feel like ive had to slowly let go of our friendship (although i dont want to) but dont want it jeapordising things with my fiance (hes aware we are friends but although never says anything dont think hes too happy about it). My mum has also just divorced from my stepdad although I didnt like him so much because of something he did to me when i was younger i am now worried about how he is with my little sister and hes turned really strange and worry he will do to her what he did to me. I just feel i cant talk to anyone and i feel my whole family is falling apart and I am so alone

[pipsy]

Hi New Member.  You sound so lost and alone, I feel for you.  I don't know what area you are in, but is there a mother's group near you which would give you some support.  Possibly contact your Dr who may have some ideas about support groups for you.  Also a church which have young mother's support groups.  It's great you have support in your fiancée, a lot of women in your situation don't have that support.  I think it's about time you did let go of your friendship with previous bf, I know you said your fiancée doesn't mind, but if the shoe were on the other foot, I think you'd be a bit worried.  As far as mum's concerned, is she aware of what your stepdad did to you?  Whatever happens as far as your sister goes, is really not your concern.  I would maybe contact mum, let her know you have some concerns about being a first time mum (this is actually quite normal).  Perhaps mum could come and help you a bit.  You can't take on everybody's problems, as much as you want to.  Is your fiancée aware of what happened between you and stepdad.  If he isn't perhaps (gently) tell him, without going into too much detail, just so he knows there's an issue there.  Ask your mum if she could help you get baby into a routine, just say you're a bit nervous, you need help till you're more comfortable.  See about getting into a young mother's group too.  Once your confidence with baby 'kicks in' hopefully you'll start feeling less stressed.  You and mum were close, no reason to think she won't be 'over the moon' knowing she's wanted.           

[blondguy]

Hi New member and welcome too 🙂

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through New.....You do sound very alone......I am glad Pipsy is here ...she is spot on with you getting some support through your community or church or even the local council/shire...You are entitled and deserve the support being a new mum.....and congratulations by the way!

I am especially sad about what you mentioned about your stepdad....If I may ask...Do you have a GP that you are comfortable with? Please talk to her/him about the situation. I cant even imagine how you must feel especially with your sister's welfare as well.

You are very strong to get on here and talk about yourself, your daughter and your sisters welfare...Well Done!

( I have only 2 people that support me when Im stuck...but I am lucky and proud to have them listen to me)

Kind Thoughts....and please let us know how you go....if you wish...

Paul