Fayette

[Fayette]

Hi, I am feeling very depressed, mainly because of family stuff.   I try to connect with my adult son, but he sends me perfunctory messages on my birthday and other occasions, never says "mum".    Tried again recently to connect but have not received a reply.   I feel like he doesn't care if I am alive or dead.  Actually,  I am sure this is true.   This situation has gone on for years.    So, I have a doctors appointment in a week's time, hopefully to discuss and perhaps get some help medically.   Nothing I do gives me joy, I am really struggling and sometimes really wish I wouldn't wake up in the morning.   Christmas doesn't help either, makes me feel worse.    I am hanging on till my doctors appointment, but it is hard.   I recently turned 80 and I feel my life is not worth living.

[white knight]

Sorry you are so upset. 

I'm 67yo and have learned a lot on how I want to treat those people that hurt me. 

• Provide them with opportunities to contact me and if they choose not to then dont pursue that as it feels like pressure on their side
• However give, give to them kindly with no expectations
• Fill your life with hobbies, interests, clubs etc that you find happiness in
• Giving to other people is a fine way of life fulfillment eg offering to serve/cook meals for the homeless and so on. If of course you are able.

Do you have any other family? If so concentrate on them.

I dont have any contact with my mother, she's 92yo. Fact is she ruined my life and I wont ever see her again. I'm not saying you have done wrong by your son but sometimes things cant be repaired. Have you asked him what the real problem is?

I hope your appointment goes ok

TonyWK

[Fayette]

Thank you for your kind advice.   Yes, I have other family and I do get on well with them.   I am sorry about your mother and yes I agree some things can't be repaired.    I wish I could ask my son what the problem is, but I am sure he wouldn't answer.   He has wiped other people out of his life too, so I am not the only one.   I know I have to get on with things and do feel that a doctors appointment is what I need and perhaps some antidepressants.   These helped me a long time ago, so I am clinging to the fact that there is help.   I just want to feel normal.   Anyway, I do appreciate your comments.