Falling deeper and deeper

[tortuedtofu]

The last few days I've been falling deeper and deeper into depression.

I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I had health anxiety at first for a week which subsided after seeing the GP. And then my depression kicked in and has been working in overdrive. It almost feels crippling, I cry almost everyday several times a day.

I'm in my 40s and struggling with finding a partner and feel like my time has past.

I also can't let go of my past, constantly thinking of things I could of done and should of done. I see people's past on social media and makes me depressed how I couldn't have the same experience. Maybe if I want a family I would feel embarrassed sharing my life choices.

I also can't stop thinking about death and how I don't feel like I have much time left.

[Sophie_M]

Hi tortuedtofu,

Thank you for posting. It sounds like things have been increasingly difficult lately and we are glad that you have been able to share here what has been happening for you. We’re sorry to hear that your depression has been so intense lately. It can truly feel crippling.  
 
Many of us here may be able to relate to that feeling of regret or despair after comparing ourselves with others on social media. If you notice this is a trigger for you, it can be worthwhile taking a break for a while. Are there any other small steps that you feel you could be able to take? It sounds like you are linked in with a GP, which is great. It might be worthwhile checking in with them, too. What you are going through is really tough and you deserve support.

You can always call our support line to talk this through, too, on 1300 22 4636, or via webchat 24/7: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support.
 
Thank you once again for sharing this and giving this community a chance to offer you their understanding and advice. Please feel free to share any updates with us on how you are travelling. 
 
Kind regards,  
Sophie M