Facebook feeds my depression sometimes

5022
Community Member
Sometimes i find social sites feed my depression. Seeing people with family and friends having a good time and especially with their children makes me feel so sad and that i am a misfit in society. I wish i had the means to take my kids on holidays but i dont and i feel like such a failure.
12 Replies 12

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion
Dear 5022
I guess it’s a big step to come on this site, which is very large and full of different people and topics, it can be rather daunting – well done. Also life does not hand everyone everything they need- it can be hard.

Here in bb however it’s not like social media e.g. Facebook or whatever. There people post what they want others to see, not true life at all. Nowadays we are all fed on a diet of ‘Celebrities’ and the ‘Rich and Famous’, or heightened unrealistic lives in series on TV. To take them too seriously is a bit of a trap. Facebook tries to present things the same way.

With each ‘happy family’ holiday photo you see you don’t know what’s behind the camera – has there just been a family argument, has one of the kids been in trouble – umpteen possibilities, but they probably aren’t going to air them in public.

The vast bulk of people mightn’t have enough bread or resources to take their kids where they might like to – but they don’t normally say so in Facebook. You might only see the ones that do have the means.

Here in the beyond blue forums the people are genuine and are also knowledgeable and caring.

I’m not going to try to give you any practical advice other than why not say a little more about yourself, your circumstances and your family and see what others have to say

My best wishes

Croix

kanga_brumby
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Dear 5022 I similar to yourself have children. I am on a pension, do I have the money to take them to an adventure park, movie world etc. No I have to go where I can afford to go. At least I have done my best to give them something. That's all we can do as parents, do our best. Some of the places I have been, with people who had more than I. Full on arguments, complaining about money and all. Yet my two had a ball with an inner tube on a river. Simple but still they had fun that's the trick just do simple things. Like the beach, inner tubes floating down a river, fishing. find a walking trail some where. take a hike. There are walking clubs out there who organise day and weekend walks all around most of the states. Sometimes you can even get a lift to where the walk starts and back again. Once you have the equipment it gets cheaper, or you can hire it from the club. There is always something you can do. It takes time, you can do it if you rely wanted to.

May the Santa be with you

5022
Community Member
Thanks Croix. It is comforting reading peoples stories here at BB. Everyone's situation is different but what we seem too all have in common is the desire too stay well as much as we can. This is real life, not the fairy tale some social sites project. Thankyou for getting back too me. Sending peace too you.

pipsy
Community Member

Hi 5022. My kids are grown with families of their own now. When they were small, there was no computers, fb, nothing. I was a solo mum, two kids, no money. We had fun, though. I would often hop on a bus, take them to an afternoon movie. After we would buy fish and chips, go to a park or home and have a picnic. My kids somehow knew I had little money. I was working, but between rent, power etc, we had little left for luxuries. I would often make them lollies, ice creams etc. I also used to make up stories about them being a prince or princess, how they would grow up, marry, rule some day. They knew the stories were make believe, but they would laugh and we had fun together. I had no car, so had to make do with public transport. We had t.v and a radio, so that was our main source of entertainment. I'm talking about the early 60's. Once a week we would go to the movies, have fish and chips and their biggest thrill was the walk home. That's when we would make up stories about them being prince's and princesses etc. Sometimes, I got the 'I'm bored' complaint. If I did I would tell them, so am I. I used to try to get them interested in other countries by 'making believe' we lived somewhere exotic. Kids can be entertained, sometimes we have to step outside the square. My kids fought - yes, but when they did, I used to tell them to 'take it outside'. We sometimes played 'charades'.

Lynda

5022
Community Member

Thanks Pipsy. I too have no car and rely on public transport which most of the time is quite reliable and work and yes living costs and the child support I pay makes life a struggle sometimes. I know that its the quality of the time i spend with the kids not the quantity that is important. We have some special outings planned for the holidays ,movies and the aquarium. Have just returned from duck feeding which my 8 yo enjoys. My ex takes the kids water skiing as he has the transport and the means and most custody of the kids however doesn't do movies or city trips. I just have too keep remembering how special our time is. I don't have a computer as the internet is expensive, we go to the library if we need computer access. Things can always be worse.

Take care.

Hi Kanga brumby. Your right there is slways something to do, it might not have all the bells and whistles but its the quality of the time. Most of the time i am aware that i have quality time, it is just during a meltdown and the few days after, that i feel hopeless. I know mamy many parents out there go through similar emotions. I just need to manage missing my kids and them missing me. We see each other every second weekend due to my ex moving and the demographics as i dont have a car. It will be fine. Thankyou.

Doolhof
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi 5022,

Take a look in your local paper/council/community house/ask at the library for free events for children in your region.

Take the children to a park with a picnic, balls or what ever else they might like to take with them.

Do your children enjoy craft or cooking? Google ideas on how to entertain them at home if the weather is not suitable to go out.

Would they be interested in free museums or art galleries? You might be surprised what is out there for free.

Hope you discover some new experiences to share with your children.

Cheers for now from Mrs. D

5022
Community Member
Hi Doolhof. Thankyou for your post. Me and my 8 yearold love baking, he wants me to own a resturant! We bake our meals and treats on the weekends kids are here, he goes through our recipie books and picks out what he would like to make, if i have the money we go to the shop for ingredients and if i dont i say lets see what we can make up from what we have here already. My 14 yo daughter is more interested in her phone we love the museum but i worry about leaving my 14 yo here all day alone because she would rather her phone ( my issue too deal with) i do have quality time and the days we can go too the movies or do other money requiring activities are special and exciting. I know its the love that is important and money doesnt buy it, my actions do. Its just hard too see it through the deepest depression times and the anxiety. Im reentering the light now and things are so much more possitive. I admire how you support others and i send caring arms too hug you with . thankyou

nowhereman
Community Member
Hi.glad you posted this.cause ive recently deleted all my facebook accounts.it kept demanding me to supply government id. To prove its me.then bullying me to supply my mobile number.if i didnt facebook would boot me off. So.i found that stressfull.as well as the amounts of advertisements on there.and fake accounts.so i eliminated that stress out of my life. Max