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Depression

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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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artilleryman37 Getting things off my chest and looking for opinions
  • replies: 2

I have decided to write here because my life is on the verge of ruin and I have trouble talking to anyone let alone medical professionals about this sort of stuff. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety, especially social anxiety. It takes me ye... View more

I have decided to write here because my life is on the verge of ruin and I have trouble talking to anyone let alone medical professionals about this sort of stuff. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety, especially social anxiety. It takes me years to fully open up to people. Anyone new I meet can walk all over me because my anxiety stops me from being able to express myself and I just do whatever I can to keep others happy no matter the personal cost to myself. The males on my fathers side are a long list of bipolar sufferers so I'm concerned I may be bipolar too but I'm not sure, I could have something completely different. I have intermittent sleeping problems, sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I'll get as little as 15 - 20 hours in a week. I have bad problems with memory. I have been known to forget how to spell my name or what my birthdate is. Sometimes I forget what I'm saying mid sentence or repeat things to people many times not knowing I have already told them. I forget to tell people things even minutes after thinking to tell them. I have even had times I have been driving and forgotten where I am and where I'm going for several minutes. I suffer from cognitive problems where it's like my brain doesn't work anymore. Its severity varies from day to day. Some days I'm at 100% and I'm like a computer, I am smart enough to have done university level maths in high school and came top of the school for the school certificate (which was a while ago as I'm now 29), and then there are days I take 10 minutes to calculate simple things like, for example, 128 + 37 and i'll still get the wrong answer. The anxiety, memory and cognitive problems have stopped me from holding any job in the last 8 years for more than 6 months which has ruined my employability in the eyes of employers and can no longer find employment. I get audible hallucinations. Sometimes not for months, sometimes every day, usually when I'm zoned out and not concentrating on anything. They used to be of an aggressive guy and a placid girl saying they were going to get me. That was years ago. These days I either get babies crying and screaming or I get a massively crowded room with hundreds of people talking to each other. I reached my character limit and will post the rest below as a reply.

Guest_9845 better people have it worse but...
  • replies: 3

I'm 35 off meds but they messed with my head too much and don't solve the issues of the character flaws I must have, I have always had. Better people have it much worse , i know, i know, but i'm really getting tired of it all. It's like anything to h... View more

I'm 35 off meds but they messed with my head too much and don't solve the issues of the character flaws I must have, I have always had. Better people have it much worse , i know, i know, but i'm really getting tired of it all. It's like anything to help is just like putting the braindead on life support. I've no hope and no forthcoming solution but dont fret, I'm too weak for suicide.

Tamara-Lee Always Angry and irritable
  • replies: 5

Firstly Hello to you all, this is my first time posting here. I am seeking some advice/help... I am 29 and a wife and mother to four, i find that i am constantly feeling angry and irritable even when i don't want to feel this way, certain things will... View more

Firstly Hello to you all, this is my first time posting here. I am seeking some advice/help... I am 29 and a wife and mother to four, i find that i am constantly feeling angry and irritable even when i don't want to feel this way, certain things will really set me off such as kids screaming, loud tv, water dripping and people chewing gum. How do i overcome these feelings?

Christine0912 Loneliness, days alone, and finding someone who understands.
  • replies: 3

Let me start by saying I have never posted here before and honestly I don't know what I am trying to achieve. I guess I'm just looking for someone, anyone, who understands this misery. I am a 25 year old woman and by all appearances I have a great li... View more

Let me start by saying I have never posted here before and honestly I don't know what I am trying to achieve. I guess I'm just looking for someone, anyone, who understands this misery. I am a 25 year old woman and by all appearances I have a great life. I have a good job that I love, and amazing supportive partner and family, and fantastic friends. And yet I have never felt more alone.I have struggled with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. However in the last couple of months I have reached levels of misery, loneliness and emptiness that I never thought were possible. I am so tired. I am so tired, and yet no amount of sleep makes the fatigue dissipate. I have reached breaking point. I have no desire to harm myself, but I don't know how much longer I can endure this hopelessness.Both my parents have their own struggles with mental health and addiction, so I feel as though I can't talk to them because I don't want to add more stress to their already difficult lives. My partner loves me and wants me to be healthy but he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't understand why I can't just 'be happy'. I know they are just trying to help, but I am SO sick of the people in my life telling me to just 'go sit in the sunshine' or 'get out of the house' as if that is going to be some saving grace that I haven't thought of before. Don't people know how badly I want to have the energy to get myself ready and go out into the world?On my days off, I spend my time at home staring into nothingness or sleeping. I barely have the energy to shower or feed myself. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else is feeling this way and if so what do they do to help themselves on days where the emptiness feels like it is consuming you? It took me a long time to realise that this is an illness. I am seeing a psychologist and taking medication. I am doing all the right things, so why doesn't it feel like I am ever going to get better?

Mellbell I'm so scared...
  • replies: 8

Hello everyone, My name is melissa and i am 25 years old. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression about three years ago. This past year has been the most darkest of my life. My issues have now lead me feeling completely hopeless, worthless and ho... View more

Hello everyone, My name is melissa and i am 25 years old. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression about three years ago. This past year has been the most darkest of my life. My issues have now lead me feeling completely hopeless, worthless and honestly not wanting to wake up in the morning anymore. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 5 months that destroyed my self esteem, I endured months of bullying from my boss and I was too scared to stick up for myself, so I just quit after working at that place for 7 years. No good bye party, no we'll miss you, nothing. I attempted to try and study so I could get a better job but my depression mentally broke me just a few months in. Because all that i had to move back in with my parents, I failed at everything and now im just stuck with very large bills I have no idea how to pay for. I'm scared every day because I wonder what could happen to make my life harder and more stressful then it already is. I feel as though I am a burden to everyone around me now. My anxiety has gotten so bad I cant go shopping anymore, I cant go out to lunches or dinners anymore, I have anxiety attacks so bad I get physically ill, and thats just doing any task that requires me leaving my room. My family and friends believe I'm just being a b*** and that I don't want to spend time with them. I've explained to them that I have a mental illness, they don't care. My friends just stopped inviting me places, I have tried to get in contact and reach out to them but I have never gotten a reply, but I see them constantly spending time with each other. The same goes with my family, its like a punch im the stomach when they make plans with each other and not invite me. I do see my gp monthly and in the middle of switching to a new medication, my third one, but I don't see a point anymore. Its gotten to a point that I honestly believe that no one would even realize I was gone if I were to succumb to the mental illness. I honestly dont believe anyone would care. I'm fighting tooth and nail every day to keep going. I'm honestly sorry if I have bothered anyone by writing this, honestly I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm lying here in my bed at 2am, with tears pouring out my eyes, just begging for the voices to stop. To just leave me alone. I'm just so, so scared..

Bx It's all getting too much.
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm new to this and not really sure how to go about it all. So I guess I just start with how I feel. Everyday is like a constant battle with myself. I notice myself pushing people away but I can't stop myself from doing it. I can't stop myself fr... View more

Hi, I'm new to this and not really sure how to go about it all. So I guess I just start with how I feel. Everyday is like a constant battle with myself. I notice myself pushing people away but I can't stop myself from doing it. I can't stop myself from crying all the time or excluding myself from fun because i feel like I don't deserve to smile, i'm on medication and have been for a while though it's not changing how I feel about myself. I also get so tired of trying to explain why I am or why i'm this way. I'm at the point where I no longer have any friends and my family are just about to give up on me too. I feel so alone in a world full of people and I would just give anything to feel "normal" again. I hate that I frustate everybody around me and it feels like i'm a burden on people, I know that noone likes anybody who's constantly sad, I want to be happy but how do i start? I'm thinking about getting myself admitted in to a mental hospital because I just can't keep fighting myself everyday. It breaks my heart when the people I love tell me to just get over it and stop with the poor bugger me. I just feel as though I bring no joy to anybody and they just expect the worst from me or just sit back an wait for me too fall. I even feel silly trying to explain myself to strangers. Sorry and thank you for taking the time to read.

LonelyD I just can't take another 'life lesson'
  • replies: 3

This is my first post to BB but I am at the end of my 'strength'. Over the past 18 months my life has come crashing down around me and I can't find a way out of this hell. 15 months ago my business of nearly 10 years closed due to my ill health (I wa... View more

This is my first post to BB but I am at the end of my 'strength'. Over the past 18 months my life has come crashing down around me and I can't find a way out of this hell. 15 months ago my business of nearly 10 years closed due to my ill health (I was diagnosed with MS in 2008) 2 weeks before the closure of my dream my husband of nearly 15 years told me he didn't love me anymore. I had no idea he felt that way. The previous year I had 5 people around me pass away one from complications from MS on from suicide. My husband said he couldn't tell me at that point as he was worried what I would do. So I am alone, no job, few friends with a disease that renders me useless. I have heard the 'everything happens for a reason' and 'you will learn about yourself' too many times. I am on AD's and under mental health plan, but I just don't know what to do-where to go or who I am. I am a nice person. I am a good person. I don't need to learn anymore!!!!

Sharny My expression as such
  • replies: 2

I thought I'd share some feelings sorrounding some of my experience. For a long time these experiences have been hidden, in shame because in my experience that's what this illness makes a person feel whether it's wanted or not. I've tried hard to lif... View more

I thought I'd share some feelings sorrounding some of my experience. For a long time these experiences have been hidden, in shame because in my experience that's what this illness makes a person feel whether it's wanted or not. I've tried hard to lift those unwanted secondary feelings to the actual illness over a period of 10 years because I feel my illness has served enough. Unfortunately I'm still not there, the process of lifting those feelings which are nothing but destroying, they don't change a thing, the illness is in varying forms a part of who I am today and have been all along. So I have learned to try and fiercely rid myself of any extra burdens along my journey, I'm a work in progress. Full acceptance of having manic depression has not knocked on my door yet, I'll get there. At my worst, the depressive side enveloped me so bad that I struggled to 'feel', everything beautiful around me seemed like a chore in attaining, I asked the question why can't I get some nourishment? Well depression at its worst (in my own experience) felt like that, a never ending struggle to get filled up. Admittedly I faked some smiles just so I didnt have to have others in my life ask what is wrong. Depression keeps a person under, it can destroy and suppress that you search so hard for enjoyment. It is a cruel illness. In short, when i experienced my worst I thought no one would ever understand, I mean I would struggle to get through the day, wishing it would be over, the dread so extreme. It was not something I could share, so the illness gripped me until it subsided. We are deserving of peace, we are people like any other with illness.

LaurenH MajorDepression, BPD and Psi-Vampire- I want my self back
  • replies: 39

Hi all, My name is Lauren- 24years age and I have been coping with anxiety/major depression for 8 years and recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm tired and confused often and my mind has become less-resiliant. Connecting t... View more

Hi all, My name is Lauren- 24years age and I have been coping with anxiety/major depression for 8 years and recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm tired and confused often and my mind has become less-resiliant. Connecting to thought/feelings/body is something I keep trying to do because I'm starting to attack others psychically for energy. It has been a big year already (doctors,psychiatrists,case workers). I don't want to harm others (psychic attacking). I would like to be in control of my life/ body/ thoughts/ energy. Right now I'm struggling on a daily basis. Feels pointless. It's shameful for me to be out in public (even though no-one would notice) I come across with a very soft demeanour. My heads just above water. I need help.

MisterM Intense self hatred
  • replies: 18

I don't know what is wrong with me. I have an intense self hatred and at times it spills over into hating everything around me including people at times. I have begun avoiding meeting new people or going to events with people I barely know through th... View more

I don't know what is wrong with me. I have an intense self hatred and at times it spills over into hating everything around me including people at times. I have begun avoiding meeting new people or going to events with people I barely know through the live music scene as I think I am not worthy of people's time and love. I have given up on trying to find a girlfriend, I don't find myself appealing and think I am not good looking. I have stopped performing my music at open mic as I feel like I am making a fool of myself. I have stopped looking for a job. I have lost all self belief. And the mental abuse by my mum has ramped up lately. She keeps telling me I bring her and my dad shame and have been bringing them down due to being unemployed and wants me to keep it secret from their friends and relatives. She noticed grey strands coming out of my hair and told me no girl will ever want me. Add to that the bad bullying at my most recent job this year. It just reinforces what I think about myself. I feel like I am becoming bitter, hateful and twisted lately.