I want to run away

[GemAndLogan]

I suffer from severe depression and take medication. It has been controlled but over the last two years my life has been in turmoil and I feel powerless to do anything about it.

I lost my mum (who was also my best friend) to cancer, then my gran to old age, then my partner to an ice addiction which also resulted in him making bad choices and our home being raided and turned upside down twice by the police and then me having to go to court. I've never committed a crime or had any negative dealings with the police so this was very frightening for me on top of my partner acting like a crazy person.

Although things have settled down a bit, I never feel okay anymore. I'm constantly effected by my depression and always have this strong urge to just get in my car and drive away and detach myself from everyone and everything and just start over.

I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like I've watched my life go downhill and couldn't do anything about it.

Any suggestions for bouncing back? I know a lot of people put there have been through a lot so how did you get back to feeling normal?

Thanks so much!

[pipsy]

Hi G.A.L. I feel so sorry things have gone so bad for you. Losing your mum, then your gran, then things with your partner went 'pear shaped'. Depression is having a field day with you. Do you have anybody you can talk to, a close friend, or relation you can trust. Are you seeing a Dr or therapist to help guide you through this maze of 'darkness' you're currently experiencing. Depression is akin to darkness as sometimes you feel as though you're completely lost. Perhaps a visit to your Dr and ask about some therapy. Maybe even a grief counselor to help you deal with the loss of your mum and gran. You've had so much going on, being able to reach out is going to help you with dealing with everything. We have counselors here who listen and guide when things seem really dark and overpowering. Depression is a strong emotion and anyone suffering it needs help fighting it. If left, it seems to 'take control' and leaves the sufferer feeling numb and detached. Everyone on these forums have been where you are and we all reached out. The strength you need lies in reaching out. Depression can't win when the sufferer asks for and receives help. If you need help and wish to phone our helpline, a counselor will answer your cry and guide you. There is a list of help available at the bottom of this page, please call, anytime.

Lynda

[GemAndLogan]

Hi Lynda,

Thank you so much for your reply.

I definitely need help.

I've made an appointment with my gp for this week. At least that's starting somewhere.

Thank you so much for your encouraging words