Hi
I am a major introvert and have been feeling depressed for the past 2 years, but I thought it was normal. But I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety towards the end of July 2019. I was prescribed with antidepressants and did get some support from my family, but that was just temporary.
I had to put more effort into pretending that I was happy and okay, in order for my mum to stop stressing and worrying about me. My dad is another story, he blames me for overthinking, but is it my fault?
For a while after being on meds, I thought, maybe I was getting better, I haven’t felt down in a while.
I was never the type to let myself dwell over things, especially things that made me sad, so when something traumatic happened, I never let myself focus the sadness and my emotions. I never gave myself time to come to terms with my problems. I’ve always pushed everything to the back of my mind. I did everything I could to escape reality. I binge read books, I binged watched series, I stopped caring so much about school.
A month and a half later, I feel like the medication isn’t working. Am I supposed to be feeling so down? Even before my diagnosis, I don’t remember feeling so emotionally drained.
This led to me being too ‘tired’ to do anything, and I don’t think my family fully understands what I’m going through. I think it’s impacting on my relationship with my parents and my siblings. I’m just so done. Everything’s falling apart.
I’ve been told by my GP to only take half a pill before bedtime, but there’s been quite a few days where I want to take one whole, just to be able to feel relaxed again.
This is what had happened. The first night I got the antidepressants, I accidentally took one tablet instead of half like I was supposed to. I remember feeling drowsy almost immediately and being able to relax for what felt like the first time in forever. I want to feel that again. I’m tired of being so tensed all the time, so anxious about everything when I know I shouldn’t be.
