I feel like everything about me changes day to day. My appearance changes so sometimes I like the way I look and other days I look bad and this can even change throughout the day and it's not even just me who thinks this because people from school also say my appearance changes a lot and they critique the way I look and say things like "She looks a bit better than she did a few years ago, but not by much."
I have something wrong with my voice, so my voice changes a lot (I think it's the tone that changes). I feel like a lot of the time, at home, I probably sound like Daria because I don't get along with my parents, but when I moved out by myself for a few months a couple of years ago, I was able to sound the way I wanted to sound most of the time without being too quiet. I feel best when my voice sounds gentle and "feminine"/girly rather than sounding weird. I also get compliments for my voice when it sounds the way I want it to sound whereas I feel like people think I sound strange when my voice sounds... strange? I don't know why my voice sounded better when I moved out from my parents' house temporarily, but maybe I felt better?
Apparently even my personality changes? People from school say they think I have some type of DID. +Sometimes I have self-awareness and other times I don't.
Also, sometimes I am straight, and other times I'm bisexual/biromantic/curious. Up until I was about 23 I think, I was predominantly straight. I sometimes thought about other women when I would "you know what", but I had no attraction to them in real life. I would walk past them without any attraction at all. I thought they were cool and all, but yeah, no attraction until one day, I felt bad about it (even though there's nothing wrong with it, it's just "you know what") so I tried to feel romantically attracted to women and then it got a bit weird because I started feeling romantically attracted to tons of people and I had to try to calm the farm a bit. For the most part now, I've gone back to feeling predominantly straight, but I still have moments where I feel romantically attracted to some other women (just a few this time though). I still don't want to have sex with them though even though I still "you know what", but I don't want to do that sort of thing in real life? Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to kiss another woman. I don't know if I would like it or it would just feel, okay?
But yeah, everything changes about me a lot and it can be very stressful.
