Does anyone else feel like they are never going to get better from depression

[Cabbage_Patch_Kid]

I get overwhelmed occasionally and fear that I’m never going to get over my current bout of depression which has been going on for almost a year. It just seems daunting. I see a professional, I take my medicine (recently changed) and I try. But I feel like I’m a failure. I’m still not back at work and there are days where I can’t get out of bed. I’m scared I won’t get better ever.

Does anyone else feel this way?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cabbage Patch Kid,

I, and I bet many others, can relate to your fears and worries. I think the battle with depression (or any other mental health condition) can feel never ending at times...it can be so exhausting to summon the will to contend with it, day after day.

I feel perhaps you’re being a little hard on yourself though. Depression is notorious for being a bit of an energy and motivation drainer, which makes everything 100 times more difficult than what it would be otherwise.

To your credit, you’re doing a lot to try to help yourself...you’re seeing a professional, taking your meds, and above all, you’re trying. I feel true victory is in the effort...

That being said, I do get it...sometimes we want to be further along in our healing but those things just take more time than we would like at times...

If it helps a little, many people here have had countless days where they struggled to get out of bed, etc but they made it in the end. Over time, things can change and shift...it won’t be like this forever...

I was thinking you might like to discuss ways to help you get out of bed, motivation, etc with the professional you’re seeing. Sorry, I don’t know if you’ve done this already but maybe s/he can help you with tips and ideas to ease the process...just a gentle suggestion.

There’s no pressure or rush but if you’re feeling up to it, it would be great to hear from you again so we see how you’re doing.

Kindness and warmth,

Pepper

[blondguy]

Hello Cabbage Patch Kid

I understand what you are going through. Depression can feel like a never ending illness when we are experiencing it, yet with frequent ongoing counseling (I see my GP every 4 weeks) these awful feelings do reduce in their severity...even with a change of meds!

Can I ask you if you have regular contact with your GP? They can be a huge support where meds are concerned

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post Cabbage Patch Kid. I hope you feel better soon

Good on you for being a part of the forum family too 🙂

you are not alone in any way

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[geoff]

Hello Cabbage Patch Kid, first of all, depression isn't a failure, it's an illness that has come upon you.

I want to agree with Pepper when the comment 'sometimes we want to be further along in our healing' was made, because sometimes I think people believe if they take a pill and get therapy then suddenly everything will be OK.

By having depression is a learning curve, however, it can make us feel as though we are not going to get better or it won't end, that's part of the illness, these are negative thoughts that continually mess with our mind, but the days when you can get out of bed are surely better days than when you can't.

Can you see a pattern here, one day you feel a bit better than another day, that's a change where your medication and counselling is working, and although you can't see it that way, looking out from the outside it certainly appears as though something is working.

It's difficult to tell by yourself whether or not you are getting better, what happens is that you are able to do things that you couldn't do before, it doesn't matter whether or not it's something small or different you don't realise until someone makes a comment, then you know you are coming out of depression.

This doesn't mean that you aren't able to do what you used to do, you are doing something else which maybe small that you couldn't do before.

Build on this and try to gain some strength, remember we are behind you.

Geoff.

[Cabbage_Patch_Kid]

Thank you all for your responses. The truth is I do want to be further on in my healing and wellness as I am now. I want to not be experiencing the sadness, the tears and the lethargy I feel now. I want to be well immediately. Sometime this really gets to me as it has in th last two days and I just don’t know what to do to help myself. I also get really scared like what if I try everything and do everything and I still don’t get better? What then?

I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist too.

[Terry73]

Hi CBK,

Its often hard to see things getting better, even when we do everything we can, so here is how I deal with it.

I know I will still be in a depressive state for a while, but what I been doing is working on things that I feel I can solve, and its working for me, well at least letting me cope much better. By getting things solved one piece at a time, you start to see achievements and progress, so even if you dont feel the depression is lifting, you can see that there is something happening, and this helps me cope.

I also focus on doing things that I have wanted in my life, so its not all just solving problems, but a sense of achievements in life itself, another thing that can help keep your chin up through the tough times.

I am not sure if the same will work for you, but it might be worth a try

Terry

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cabbage Patch Kid (and all your caring supporters),

Thank you so much for writing 🙂 It’s lovely to hear from you again...

I get what you’re saying. I feel sometimes it can all be so frustrating and overwhelming, and we just want the healing to speed up...

On that note, I was thinking you might find some of Terry’s thoughtful suggestions helpful. Perhaps something for you to consider (if you like)...

I can empathise with your fear of trying everything and then not have things work out. That fear is very real so I feel that I get where you’re coming from...

Although I was thinking perhaps an alternative way to look at things is learning to accept uncertainty into your life (easier in theory than in practice of course). It’s just that I feel there are no guarantees in life...trying different treatments and strategies can be a little like taking a calculated gamble in my opinion.

Of course we hope it will work out but we don’t for sure till later on. Sometimes things will work and other times they won’t but as the cliche goes, you never know till you try...

For now, maybe try not to focus too much on the end result and just focus more on taking your mental health moment by moment (like in the more manageable chunks that Terry suggested). I feel maybe that will lessen your worries a little...

Let us know how you’re going if you like. We appreciate the updates 🙂

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[DannyG]

Hi Pepper

your post wasn’t written in reply to me but I found it helpful 🙂 ‘Over time, things can change and shift...it won’t be like this forever

i really hope so. I know that some days are better than others and that I have gone through periods where things have improved and where things are worse than they are now. But I’m having a difficult time right now.

I feel like solving one problem just leads to new problems. For eg I lost my job and it was an awful experience. My focus was to get a new job. Now I have a new job but it’s a contract, so sometime soon it will end and I’ll be back where I started. And the job has many challenges and downsides that I feel I am not up to the challenge of doing.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DannyG (waves to Cabbage Patch Kid and all your lovely supporters here),

I’m happy to hear you got something out of my reply 🙂

It sounds like you’re really struggling at the moment. I agree with you about how mood and emotions are constantly evolving. I feel impermanence is ironically one of those things in life that is a constant...just my opinion at least.

Yes, I get what you’re saying about how problem solving is essentially this ongoing process. Solve one and a new one often presents itself...

It’s great to hear from you and lovely to get to know you a little. The lack of stability/certainty from your contract job would be very stressful for you...

Kindness and warmth,

Pepper