Do i quit yet another job because of my depression/anxiety?

mtxo · ‎10-01-2017

Hi guys, Basically i was out of work last year for 6 months. I was on welfare benefits struggling to find work and hating it. I was accepted for a HR trainee ship in November and thought i loved it.. until now. This role is for one person yet there are two of us sharing it, i constantly come into work and have nothing to do for most of the day. The girl i share this role with is not very good at it and i think that is why they thought they should hire someone else to help. The past two weeks have been a struggle, my anxiety is through the roof and i am having small panic attacks almost everyday. The kind where your chest tightens up, you cannot take a deep breath no matter how hard you try, and all you want to do is cry to let all the pain out. To be honest, HR is definitely not what i want to be doing. I am expected to be holding interviews at some point and the thought of that terrifies me. I was desperate to find work I was sick of being on welfare and i just wanted to work like a normal 22 year old. I know I jumped into this role without truly thinking about it and now i am basically stuck and unsure of what to do. I am scared to quit and go back onto benefits because I do not know what i will do with myself if i did but the anxiety is getting to the point where i am resenting everyone i work with and hating everyone and everything. What the hell do i do?

white knight · ‎10-01-2017

Hi mtxo welcome

You don't mention if you are seeking treatment for your anxiety. If not please do so immediately.

before I turned 40yo the longest job I ever kept was 3 years. Yes I had anxiety then days. I was also manic.

You might be more suitable in active work where things are happening all the time. Or creativity work like gardening.

You shouldn't feel guilty though. How are you to know you would be do bored.?

A good example of this is when I turned 21yo. I worked at a large jail. I thought I'd be just locking cell doors. It was much further involved.

To look after your mental health should be paramount. Talk to your GP. But be aware, even if your GP endorses your need to leave work welfare authorities might not agree.

Id suggest you talk to Centre link first openly about the situation.

Good luck Tony WK

Doolhof · ‎10-01-2017

Hi mtxo,

Welcome to the forums and the community here.

Like Tony, I am wondering if you have or if you are receiving help for your anxiety and panic attacks? Speaking to your Dr is important, as is getting the help you need right now.

Have you read any of the information available here on this site? You can use the phone help line as well to speak with someone about how you are feeling on 1300 22 4636.

Is there a support person of some kind at work who you can talk to?

Do you get a lunch break? Is it possible for you to go for a short walk in that time to help calm yourself down?

Would it help if you made a list regarding all the good things about this job and having employment compared to being on Centrelink? If you have a look at that, you might consider finding ways to make this job more satisfactory until you can find something else.

Do you have family and friends you can chat with as well about all of this?

Having a chat with your Dr might be a good place to start.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

mtxo · ‎11-01-2017

Hi Tony,

I have been seeking treatment since the end of 2015, but to be honest i have not seen a psychologist or done any kind of therapy as of yet. Ever since i was diagnosed i was working which made it difficult to attend appointments, then once i was unemployed for a while i was too afraid to even see anyone about it.. I am currently on medication and have been for a while, i have not seen my doctor for a while either as working has made it difficult to get an appointment with him.

The last job i quit i received a note from the doctor explaining that i could not work due to medical condition so i am a little worried that they will not accept it again.. even though it is serious.

I do think i need something that is more challenging and can keep me busy for the entire day. I have struggled to find what is a good fit for me as i have tried every industry i have ever thought i would enjoy. I'm not sure if it's the depression that makes me give up on them though or if i really do genuinely dislike it.

I really want to get this fixed, i want to be free from this negativity in my mind and look after myself but i am afraid i will disappoint my family and loved ones by leaving yet another job. I am only 22 so i know it won't be the end of the world.. i just do not like disappointing people.