Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

[lilly2016]

Hi, I haven't been here for a while, I used to be part of the forums struggling with Depression and anxiety, well I'm back. I am terrified of my latest diagnosis of a large cancerous tumor in my bowel which needs to be removed in the next few weeks after delays due to just how busy the hospitals are. I'm scared, I'm anxious, I'm sad, I can't think straight, I'm in pain at times but have strong medication. I have addictions I need to stop pretty much asap! I pray, I cry, I shake and deeply hurt by hurting others by my diagnosis. I think of chemo all the time, the operation, my life. I'm not coping. I haven't told my father and don't know how to, his old and already lost his wife his brother, 2 sons and grandson in the past ten years. I know you can't do anything about any of this but if just one person could pray for me I would be grateful. I'm sad by what this virus has done to the world, the heartache it has caused for so many people, the personal stories I hear, the depression lockdown is causing. I try make the most of the times I feel okay, both physically and mentally but I just fall to pieces sometimes. I'm trying to be strong and pray the lord will give me the strength I need. I'm not brave, nor do I think I deserve the love I get sometimes for some reason, but please look after each other and help each other, please do something kind for someone because it makes so much of a difference in someone's life. We are all in this together. Thank you for listening. Xxx

[golden82]

Lovely Grandy. Thanks for all the support you give us all on here 🙂

[DedicatedToHealth]

Hi lilly2016, I am so incredibly sad to hear about your bad news. Sending you lots of loving comfort. It sounds like you are going through such a rough time and you are right to have all those feelings: about the diagnosis, the treatments, telling people, having strength then feeling vulnerable. You are wonderful to be going through all of this and still send US powerful, positive words to be kind to each other. I am sending you the kindness you have given us, be kind to yourself -you deserve it.

If you do need more help, I know you didn't ask, I have found the Cancer Council the BEST place to talk, vent, be supported and CARED for.

will pray for you, it that's ok.

[lilly2016]

Thank you Grandy, such a lovely poem about the Footprints in the sand, yes everyone has been so supportive and lovely including you. I am going to check out every link offered to me within these forums, I didn't today as I had a gloomy day and didn't do that much actually. Thank you for joining in on the prayers I appreciate it and will always remember, I won't forget. Thanks again. Xxx

[lilly2016]

Thank you Dedicated, thank you for your prayers, every prayer is worth so much to me during this time of need, but for me personally, from now on and forever more. I think out of this, yes it will be a huge Rocky Mountain to climb and I hope I don't run out of breath, but on the other side I know my relationship with God will grow and grow. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

[Guest_1055]

Thinking of you Lily, hope you are doing OK. No pressure to reply or anything.

Shell

[lilly2016]

Thank you Shelll, thanks for thinking of me, that's so nice just to pop up and say that outta the blue. Well I've been up in a bit of pain, I'm OK but I just can't sleep with it, it's 2.35am I'm hoping to sleep soon. All this worry is exhausting but I had a good day today, I went outside, I went food shopping, had lunch at dad's, watched a bad movie, had vegetarian pizza and a few other things, it doesn't sound like a lot or even very interesting but it's alot more than I have been doing of late, I think I only cried once today, briefly in the morning. It's something. I've been thinking about all the beautiful things in my life and just how fortunate I have been over the years, yes alot of downs and not so good memories too, but so many beautiful memories also. I appreciate the small things in life, like holding a tiny puppy, these kind of things make me smile.

[geoff]

Dear Lilly, I'm so sorry that I hadn't replied already and I can't apologise enough because the support from those above me has been outstanding, especially the poem by Grandy.

When we are diagnosed with any mental illness we have feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and helplessness can also come with a cancer diagnosis, that we understand and know the pressure you are under, but we want to join you along this journey.

Being a father of two, I would only hope that I was told, although I realise that there are many issues I don't know about and appreciate your decision.

My very best.

Geoff.

[lilly2016]

Thankyou Dear Geoff, yes that poem by Grandy gives me hope that maybe I am also being carried, who knows its possible. I haven't told Dad because he worries too much and won't handle the news well, I wanted him to get in a few good games of Football first and I have done that. I am telling him mid week next week. Thankyou for your support and mo need to be sorry, as you see above I have some very nice replies full of hope and positive thoughts, encouragement and more.

[Guest_1055]

Good Morning Lily, you write so nicely. I am sorry you are experiencing a bit of pain there. Have you ever tried a Castor oil pack over where the pain is? It feels incredibly soothing. And also a diffuser in your bedroom with 100% pure lavender oil waffling in the air. The lavender is so very calming and may help you sleep better.

I am so glad you notice the small things in life. And recieve some kind of enjoyment from doing that. Tiny puppies are incredibly cute. They can make me smile as well. Human babies also.

I have no idea what to say now. But I am listening to you.

Shell

[Ggrand]

Hello Lovely lilly, and everyone...🤗..

I am so pleased you liked the footprints poem..It has given me hope so many times...

I am deeply sorry that you are experiencing pain that is making it difficult for you to sleep...

Its going to be hard lovely lilly to tell your family about what your going through...You have such a beautiful soul not wanting them to struggle with the news you going to disclose to them...I think it’s a good idea to do so...That way your family will also be their for you, with their love, prayers and concern for you...and of corse their their help in you not having to go through this on your own in real life..

Lilly...at night when your trying to sleep, is it possible for you to put on a bible sleep story from you tube and listen to them, while you gently drift of to sleep...they are so comforting and calming...They run for 3 hours, if you fall asleep while listening...that’s okay dear lilly, as it turns itself off when it’s finished...

The little things in nature are truely beautiful, the birds singing, clouds drifting across the dark blue sky, holding a tiny puppy, Listening to the rain...I am so pleased that your beautiful soul can connect to these universal wonders..nature has a way of helping with our soul to heal...

I wish I had the right words to comfort you..I wish and pray that your pain and illness never existed...It makes me so sad that it does...

Always we are here for you lovely lilly, in prayer, best wishes, love and care...

Sending my prayers, my care, and love for you..Dear lilly....You have been in my thoughts with my admiration, care and love since I met you..

Grandy...🙏💜🤗🕊🌱..