Hi R.R Just touching base to let you know I'm thinking of you. I understand your depression, there so many things that are happening in your life that you have no control over. When you can control things, the depression doesn't seem to be so bad. When bad things happen that you have to accept, this seems to make the depression worse. Depression also feeds on the inability to stop bad things from happening. When you start feeling sad/angry, try to focus on the good things in your life. You see your kids, that's good. Concentrate on what you're going to do next time you see them. Instead of looking at the 'bad' thing i.e handing them back, look on that as possibly temporary. I know it's easy to say, I have to 'lift' myself up from insensitive remarks my ex makes. He remarked that when his dad dies, I won't be going to his funeral in case his mum makes a nasty, toxic remark to me about being there. My ex is not able to 'fend' off toxic remarks made to me by his family. It hurts and upsets me, but to feel better, I tell myself it's better not to put myself in the firing line. His parents caused us to part and he defends their actions. I got very 'down' about this till I realised he can't help being the way he is. The depression I experienced was a temporary set-back to my ego more than anything else. Once I realised what had caused the depression, I was able to move on with my life.
Hope this gives you another perspective.
