Depression over health issues.

[Greyhaired_Phantom]

Ten years ago I was diagnosed with Crohnes disease. By the time I was finally diagnosed however, it had destroyed around one metre of my small intestine. My bowel perforated and I had to battle so hard to stay alive. I was left a wreck, both physically and mentally.

I won't go into this much, as it's pretty traumatic and hurts at what can happen when someone doesn't do their job.

My body has been a disaster zone the last ten years. Some good times, but a lot of problems dealing with short bowel and crohnes.

Last October the heart damage caused by the mess ten years ago came back to hit me hard!

I had congestive heart failure, and after another fight for life, survived.

Since then I have battled feeling depressed, as I feel I'm a dead man walking! I begin to feel more confident, then my belly gives me issues and my fear and depressed feeling return.

I'm not the suicidal type, because my fear is of dying before I am ready! I love being alive, and visiting old friends and places of my youth. I look at life as THE experience, a gift to wring everything out of! I'm not scared of death, I'm scared of leaving the world I have loved for 67 years. I don't like medication for depression as it's masking, and not solving the problem.

As I say, I am fine, until my body decides to scare me good, every few weeks lately.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Greyhaired Phantom, 

We are so sorry to hear that you have had such a tough time with your health, from what you've said we can see that you are struggling with how these health issues are impacting your mental health as well as your physical health. It is wonderful that you are able to share yout story with us here on the forums, you never know who else might see this post and feel less alone becasue of it. Thank you for being brave and for seeking support. 

We are concerned that you are feeling depressed and want to suggest that you give our phoneline a call to chat about it. The team on the other end of the phone are experts at helping us to understand how we are feeling and are brilliant at helping to find other supports in our life if we need them. We will put a few numbers at the end of this post so you can choose which one suits you best. 

In the meantime, if you want to learn more about Depression and how to seek help we recommend you check out our articles here.

Phonelines
BeyondBlue 1300 22 4636
Lifeline 13 11 14
Mensline 1300 65 94 67

Please feel free to check back in and update us on how you are feeling. This online community is kind and understanding so we also encourage you to have a look around the forums and join conversations you think resonate with you. 

Welcome to the forums and thank you again for making the choice to seek support - it is a brave and admirable thing to do. 

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Greyhaired Phantom,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for deciding to join us.

I can see that Sophie M has already given you a warm welcome and hopefully you have had a chance to check out the phone lines - it would also be good to know what sort of support that you have around you as it definately sounds like you are having a difficult time.

While I can't relate to what you are going through, I do know what it's like to have health issues and feel how that impacts our mood. That sometimes I feel like my mind and body don't connect in the way that I'd like - when my mood is fine and I'm feeling independent, and then suddenly my health gets in the way. Is this the same for you?

For me personally, it's become finding ways to cope with my health issues; so that when they are intense, my mood doesn't drop with them and that I can find ways to manage day to day. I'd like to think that you can do the same, so that while you can only manage your conditions to a certain point, when your belly gives you issues it doesn't bring your mood down along with it.

rt