year 12 will be the death of me i swear

[t..c]

if you take the time to read this, then thank you ❤️

so currently in year 12, failing chemistry and maths methods, which is lowkey really stressing me out but like thats okay. i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a few years back and this year a few months ago i got diagnosed with chronic migraines although they've been going on for years.

last year with lockdown i got extremely depressed and am so surprised i even passed year 11. it was hard. this year though, is different. I'm from Melbourne, Victoria and we haven't had any cases in 90 days but that recently changed and we've been put into another lockdown that is probably gonna get extended, i am literally on day two of this and i just found out i failed one of my sacs, i genuinely do not think i can make it through another year of online school. What do i do to cope, cos all i did last year was turn my camera off and sleep through classes, i was so depressed.

I mean sometimes i have bursts of motivation from videos i'll see or something like that but they never last. there is of course also a guy, who is equally as depressed as i am, worse than i am (and yes i know probably shouldn't like him) but man i can't keep my mind of him and i always wanna help him and we both said (cos we live a little far away from each other) we will wait, wait till we have our licenses, wait till we finish year 12. that is literally nearly all that is keeping me going at this point. as well as wanting a victorian position in cadets (youth development program).

i have so much to look forward to and hope for, i know i do. i just don't have the bloody motivation and it ticks me off. why can't i just be idk normal? can you guys help me get through this?

oh and should i see a therapist?

Thanks,

t.c ❤️

[JordanM]

Hi I’m Jordan i’m graduated you 12 all the way back in 2008 yes it was one of the hardest years of my life full of stress and pressure to perform but what I went through pales in comparison to what you guys are going through right now all I know is that you can do it that your school is not a reflection of the person you are it is not a reflection of your intelligenceIt is just a number that they have to assign to people so that they can rank everyone if I told you my school and what I do now you would freak just promise me this if you don’t get the school you really wanted there’s always another way in to the course you want might take a little bit longer but there’s always another way in don’t focus so hard on that score. oh and please do one thing that I never did take time for yourself do mindfulness and meditation that will help with your concentration and it will help with your anxiety and if you do feel like it’s getting to a point where you can’t control it speak to your doctor if you’ve got a psychologist or psychiatrist speak to them or just call the number at the top of this webpage and someone will be there to help I’m hoping to be a telephone operator to help people soon

[Sophie_M]

Hey t.c,

Thank you so much for reaching out to our community here, and sharing what you've been going through. It's not an easy thing to be so open about your feelings, so well done on taking such an important step. We can hear that this must be a particularly stressful year for you, especially when having a lockdown and restrictions in Melbourne on top of your Year 12 studies. It's understandable that you'd be feeling quite frustrated about this lack of motivation, but please know that you've come to safe space to talk these feelings through, and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

You mentioned that you were also diagnosed with depression and anxiety a few years ago- can we ask if you have previously or currently receiving any mental health support? We hope you know that support ids always available to you, and would encourage you to reach out to our friends at Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under, and are available 24/7 on 1800 55 1800, or also through their webchat: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling. We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available anytime by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors will be able to talk these feelings through, and can offer support, advice and referrals if this is something that you may be interested in.

We hope that you can find some comfort in the kindness from our community, and please feel free to keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. 
 

[jtjt_4862]

Hi t.c,

Melbourne (and Victoria), is probably the most unluckiest state in the whole of Australia. With the highest number of lockdown days compared to the rest of the states, it's really tough on a lot of people's lives, and I'm really sorry to see that you have been impacted by it as well. I feel sad when I saw the news about Year 12 students in 2020 going through a hard time with the long lockdowns, and now it is happening again to 2021 students too. It's definitely not an easy time for Year 12 students, especially since it is the last year of their highschool year too.

Jordan's made some really good points about how, marks aren't a reflection of who you are as a person, or whether you are capable of doing something. There's always more than one way to get to where you want to be, and you'd be surprised where life would take you as well. I too did not do really well in my Year 12, nearly failing maths methods/spesh/chem/physics/economics. The only subject I did well on, was viscomm. But that didn't really got me to where I want, and I somehow got into a job that's completely unexpected basing on how poor I went with my year 12 subjects.

May I also say, it's really sweet of you to want to work together with this guy. I wish you two all the best, and always happy to chat with you here.

Jt

[t..c]

Hey,

i Have had previous counselling, but I don’t want to go back, I have to be okay because if I go back it’ll go on my medical record. And my chance? No not a good enough word, my dream of joining the army disappears.

[Johnny_]

Hi Tc

I thought I’d say hello and share my story,

First of all, that person in the mirror you see everyday, is doing really well and that person is actually you so nice work! Always focus on the positive.

I was kinda lost in high school, not really motivated to chase marks as I didn’t have a direction but I did my best anyways and was just a good kid. This is actually ok so no need to stress over it. Easier said then done right? Break down your problem to a manageable size and it actually becomes easier. It worked for me. And I focused on what I achieved which made me stronger to tackle problems. I also later worked out what I wanted to do with my life then a focus came over me and I achieved my goal. It was hard but the focus was easy. I had anxiety at times too and learned to deal with that and also learned it’s ok to have it too as it didn’t define me. I broke down days to hours to minutes and breathed and I got through those moments. A diary helped too, weird but it did. I’m past it now but I still remember it and I learned a lot.

I’m a little older then you and learned all this over time and it’s worked for me..focus on what is important to you! break down the big problem to tiny ones, breathe, acknowledge the anxious thoughts and achieve your goals.. and if you seek a therapist, only see them if you connect as they open your mind soo much.

take care:)

[Guest9337]

g’day t..c, I appreciate your thanks for reading in your opening statement.


I too experience shifting emotions like depression, anxiety and bursts of motivation. I think we can both agree the bursts of motivation feel heaps better and achieve more.


One way to cope I use is to aim my bursts at something that really matters. I’m trained and experienced as a maths tutor, my very first client needed to improve from C’s to B’s in year 12 maths to improve chance of getting into RMC-Duntroon. I still recall the first bit of advice I gave him, based upon his answer to my first question – once past pleasantries of course.

I asked how much home work he’d been doing to achieve the C’s in maths. His answer was 2 hours a week. So we doubled that amount, 2 hours with me a week, and 2 hours more at home a week. During Swotvacation we added another 4 hours per week for an epic 8 hours, just on maths during that last week of study. Those changes worked and he got a high B, I'm told he got in Duntroon too.

So, to cope, ask yourself how much you’re already doing and notice how much more you reckon you need, maybe even ask your teachers how many hours they estimate you need. It is possible to turn year 12 around from the mid point of the year. It’s a matter of crunching the numbers. Grinding it out, day in day out for 5 days a week till the exams are done.

That’ll be tough, but you want to be Army right! My Uncle Jock was Scottish Army in WW2 a tank man in Egypt. Peeing in a bucket at his position inside the tank he told me, his maths was range and azimuth, velocity, litres and kilograms, and after the war more applied maths in his trade as a carpenter.

Sleeping in class sounds like a troubling problem. Not just from losing those hours of study, but also from not getting those sleeping hours overnight for a healthier circadian rhythm. I suppose you could get a sleep study without risking losing your Army option. You might discover a way to improve your sleep and thus likely improve depression and motivation.

There’s an optimum number of hours of sleep for everyone, I think its in the field of mathematical biology, a progression of maths methods and maths applications.

I found your following statement motivating “I just don’t have the bloody motivation and it ticks me off.” That ticked off emotion is useful, aim it. How ticked off are you going to be if you fail maths and chemistry?

Would studying with your guy work out?

[batticus]

Hi T..C

I can relate. I graduated year 12 in 2010.

I also did Maths Methods - what a nightmare of a subject.

It was an incredibly stressful time. The amount of pressure can really be unbearable at times. I had a very bad mental breakdown when I was in year 12. I ended up in hospital. It was a horrific time for me but also for everyone close to me. It was of the bat of my first 'girlfriend' leaving me - my depression and anxiety which already existed hit tipping point.

It's been a long time since then but I see a therapist every month or so and it helps me immensely. If I had done so back then I'm sure it would have prevented that mental breakdown from happening.

Motivation is an issue for me too - again seeing a therapist actually helps with that. You can get all those idle thoughts out and it leaves you with a feeling of empowerment. It helps me so much.

Wishing you all the best. It's a rough time but despite all the bad things that happened that year, I still have fond memories.

[itsokaytosayno]

Hi t..c,

Sorry to hear you feeling down.

I graduated in 2018 and although it wasn't a pandemic back then which would be super tough (I applaud you) I did have my fair share of struggle.

I went through PTSD and in the break between graduating and sitting my final exams TW: struggled with self-harm urges. I guess what I'm trying to say it may not be an easy time but, before you know it will be all over!

Do you know what you want to do after school? Maybe thinking about the end goal will help keep you more focused.