Depression or Reality?

[Rod_h]

So I'm 44, ugly, weird... the kinda guy you see on public transport and are immediately uncomfortable around. When i'm introduced to people i can read the expression on their face they don't like what they see by the forced smile accompanied by a subtle, slightly uncontrollable snarl from the upper lip.

In the workplace i have no hope of ever getting a high position. women don't want to be anywhere near me. Men don't either.

Apparently I'm depressed? What if I'm not depressed? What If I'm just hyper perceptive? What If i can see clearly that I'm being judged by my appearance.

Perhaps you are like me. Do you think a pill will make it all go away? chatting with a shrink will make it all better?...It won't change a thing.

I've tried.

[geoff]

Hi Rod_h, welcome to the forums and I'm pleased that you have posted a comment.

I can't determine whether you're depressed or not as I'm not qualified, and please don't call yourself this, that's not fair at all.

Changing medication is always a good option if the one you are taking isn't working, and to be decided by your doctor, and if you didn't feel comfortable with this 'shrink' (as you have said)then ask your doctor to refer you to another one or perhaps a psychologist.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Rod_h,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

To answer your question, I think depression has a lot to do with our thoughts and moods. If it's reality, our moods can go up and down but feel relatively stable, but with depression, our mood tends to only be down. With depression, we tend to have lots of negative thoughts and assumptions (I'll never get a high position), where as with reality, we can have a bit more perspective.

Being judged by our appearance is also a little perceptive too; while you may be hyper perceptive in reading shifts in body language, it doesn't mean that it's focused on you, or if it is, then it doesn't mean its on your appearance.

Do I think a pill will make it go away? No - but I know people who have been on medication (including myself) where there can be shifts in mood so it's not so low all the time, and that helps. Do I think chatting with a shrink will make it all better? No, but I'm an advocate for therapy. I don't think it 'makes it all better' but I think that if you find the right therapist you can learn a lot of things to apply outside of the sessions, so you can make it a little better.

[Distant]

Hyper perception is an all mighty double edged sword, it’s easy to spot a red car when you’re looking out for one

Maybe you are hyper perceptive. As hard as it is, you’re the only one who can control what you’re perceiving, what the spotlight is focusing on.

That’s why I think seeing a shrink could be good. I didn’t like mine for the first two sessions. Now though, I see her once a month as I find it incredibly beneficial to see problems I’m having through unbiased eyes. Give it a few sessions first, you might get some great advice/strategies on how to focus that spotlight on the things that make you happy.