Depression

what should I do with my alcoholic and depressed partner

replies: 3

Where to begin? we've been together one and half year, we met in New Zealand when we were both travelling there on a working holiday visa. He was honest to me at the beginning, said he’s an alcoholic for 5 years and he has depression since he was a t... View more

Where to begin? we've been together one and half year, we met in New Zealand when we were both travelling there on a working holiday visa. He was honest to me at the beginning, said he’s an alcoholic for 5 years and he has depression since he was a teenager. He want to quit drinking, and he never deny his alcoholism. we've always been travelling in the past year, since we come from different country, kind have to, all the visa problems. We fight a lot over alcohol. He start being physically and mentally abusive. I start being crazy also. Every time he got a bottle, I try to pour it out, then we get into a fight, next morning we’ll hold each other crying and say sorry he’ll never drink again.. then, it happen again. he drink and we fight/argue from nz to china, then Indonesia. there were somedays he did really good without drinking, but never last more than 2 weeks. always some bad thing happen, to became his new excuse to start drinking again. now we are in Australia doing working holiday.. He become so mad recently, at everything, got fight with people after drunk at night, then got himself in trouble. I have realized i'm in an abusive relationship for a while, but it's so hard to let go, so hard to give up on him, to watch him suffer, I want to help so bad, but don't know how. we were trying to find a place to settle down, get a job, which, he said would help him a lot. but we just couldn't make it yet when we still travelling. and his mind set is he won't stop drinking until we settle down. but I can't deal with he drinking anymore, it drives me crazy, I thinking about breaking up all the time, and so many hurtful things he put on me, I'm mentally destroyed..but , who is going to help him? I'm the only one he has, I feel so selfish, but meantime I know it's the right choice for both of us. he is not only an alcoholic, he is in depression too. and I know partner's support means a lot to him. but, when I'm so mad at him drinking and when we argue so much, it dose't do any good for him. I tried to calm down, I searched a lot stuff online, I learned a lot, but when thing happened we do stupid things we couldn't control our anger... im so lost, so confuesed ,,don't know what to do? what's right? I just want to make the best choice for him, he needs more help than me. I'm still strong, positive, looking for a way out, for us, him and myself...but I'm so lost , and helpless..

How do I continue? feeling of constant guilt and shame, depression.

replies: 2

I am a 22 year old male, living with his parents, working 7 days a week 8 - 13 hour days, haven't had a meaningful intimate relationship in 3 years. Work isolates me from my friends, when I go out to see a movie or anything that is typically a 'socia... View more

I am a 22 year old male, living with his parents, working 7 days a week 8 - 13 hour days, haven't had a meaningful intimate relationship in 3 years. Work isolates me from my friends, when I go out to see a movie or anything that is typically a 'social' event, I go alone. I don't allow myself to be vulnerable to anyone (probably why I am here) for the reason I really don't think anyone really cares. I have had depression on and off since high school, I have seen help and have been medicated before. I know I am sick, I know I need to talk, I struggle so much to open my mouth because I really think unless the person is being paid they really don't care. How do I continue? I am constantly at odds with myself I want to go on and try harder yet I still find myself crying almost every night, in the car on my way home from work. This sickness never seems to end. How do I continue?

What’s going on with me?

replies: 3

Hi everyone, I’d love some advice from anyone willing to help. The last 2 weeks I have been feeling very down and I have been crying at the drop of a hat. I have found that my work life has been made difficult because I simply can’t get through witho... View more

Hi everyone, I’d love some advice from anyone willing to help. The last 2 weeks I have been feeling very down and I have been crying at the drop of a hat. I have found that my work life has been made difficult because I simply can’t get through without wanting to cry. I spent 1hour at work this morning before having to go home because I couldn’t keep the tears away. There’s a few things going on in my life at the moment, but there’s definitely not anything that’s playing on my mind. I’m finding it hard to stay focused and concentrated. People will be having a conversation with me and it seems to be going straight over my head. All I want to do is be in my bed. I am sad and I don’t even know why. Any suggestions to help get out of this awful headspace?

Post break up depression

replies: 6

Hi, I don't really know how to start these things so I'll dive right into it. Background: 4 years ago, my ex girlfriend and I decided to make things official. We had known each other since we were born and both grew up in rural Australia. Small town,... View more

Hi, I don't really know how to start these things so I'll dive right into it. Background: 4 years ago, my ex girlfriend and I decided to make things official. We had known each other since we were born and both grew up in rural Australia. Small town, so everyone new everyone, no secrets. Towards the middle of the relationship, she had a bad relationship with alcohol. She barley drank ever, but when she did - she was flirty with other guys. It got so bad that my parents had received picture of her kissing another boy and also at a wedding we were both invited to was kissing someone on the dance floor. Now she tells me that she has never slept with anyone. In any case, we decided to try and make things work out. She had been to clinics, seen specialists and really seemed as though she was putting the effort in to try and make us work. She is now overseas doing a rural course for 6 weeks, and I noticed that she was being very active on social media but didn't have the time of day to respond to my text, even letting me know she got there okay and was safe. She promised me that it would always be her and I. But we recently had a big fight about this, and that she had told me I would always be a priority. I know this sounds needy, but my trust was broken after hearing about these cheating instances. She now has blocked me on everything. I'm finding this break up extremely hard to deal with. Our families are close and no doubt I will be seeing her again. I am honestly trying to be the bigger man, but this heart break is like nothing else. What are your suggestions on coping with with. I had been hitting the bottle pretty hard lately which has been affecting everything. My work, my social life, my health. I have come to the conclusion that I can't be this person anymore, but need advice on how to numb the pain. Thank you

Highest of Highs to Lowest of Lows

replies: 1

Hi All I am a 28 year old male, been in a relationship for 5 years and generally have lived a good life. I moved from Adelaide to Brisbane almost 7 years ago, when i arrived i had no work and after 4 years built myself a career in the coffee industry... View more

Hi All I am a 28 year old male, been in a relationship for 5 years and generally have lived a good life. I moved from Adelaide to Brisbane almost 7 years ago, when i arrived i had no work and after 4 years built myself a career in the coffee industry i started as a technician worked my way up to a state manager. I had developed a great friendship with my boss at the time we were best mates and worked well together, around 12 months ago the friendship started to drift off and i noticed that he wasnt at work alot leaving me to run the state in his absence. It turned out that he was actually building a coffee roasting business with the company owners son. This was something we were always going to do together however i didnt have a millionaire father to fund the project. I felt betrayed by this and left the company within a month to another company where i took on a larger and well paid role still in the coffee industry. However after 5 months i was burnt out and suffering from anxiety issues, i decided i would take the 20k in savings i had and open a coffee shop. I sunk every penny into it and was finally feeling happy with my life, during the last period of last year i had a visit from the second coffee company i had worked at and was offered my job back same money and all. So i decided that yes id take it and closed my shop down however after two weeks i contacted them and they informed me the owners did not want me to return. I never heard a thing back from the worker who approached me to coming back again making me feel as if i had been betrayed by a friend. I closed my shop in February of this year and have not been able to get any work since, im getting married in October and am building a debt in my overdraft. I feel as if i am on a rollercoaster ride some days are better but i feel as if i have failed in life and have massive issues now trusting people and trusting their word. I have no close mates who i can talk to and feel like im going through this alone, i have always had a job since i was 15 and with no employment i feel my life has no meaning and i have no drive for life. Im not sure what to do really, everybody keeps saying just stay positive and the universe will deliver but its been 4.5 months and i'm just not sure how much more i can give. I dont no what to do or where to turn hoping some body on here has been through a similar situation. Thanks Brendan

Thought I'd give this place a go.. SO heres me.

replies: 1

Me; Manic Depressive General Anxiety Disorder PTSD So I work 4 days a week, its hard but its manageable for the time being. On my days off I go to the gym for an hour or more as I've been trying to get back into shape was 95kg at the start of the yea... View more

Me; Manic Depressive General Anxiety Disorder PTSD So I work 4 days a week, its hard but its manageable for the time being. On my days off I go to the gym for an hour or more as I've been trying to get back into shape was 95kg at the start of the year and I'm down to 78kg - yay for small wins but thats pretty much all I do. I work and I go to the gym on my days off, rinse and repeat. I've lost all my (2-3) close school friends over the years and now I'm stuck in a city that I absolutely hate. Making friends with anyone has got to be the hardest thing it takes time to be friends with people but generally I've never had many friends and a lot of people just dont seem to like me. I've grown so used to being along these days but at the same time really long to have a friend. Animals are great but its not the same. Simply put the dating scene for me also is - not good. I'm just getting really over everything at the moment. I've come such a long way in the past 10 months from having social anxiety to where I was failing my classes as I'd be having panic attacks sitting in my car unable to go in before class to now working in retail dealing with people on almost a daily basis. I guess I had too higher expectations for how things would be.. Its great the my anxiety isnt as much of an issue anymore but I really thought things would be different. I feel like I could so easily crash and burn right now that everything I've achieved is slowly just slipping out of my hands.

Obesity and mental anguish

replies: 0

Your GP tells you that your Body Mass Index calculation puts you in the obese range. Or perhaps like me once I read a referral and in it is that word "obese". How demoralising! BMI is- "The body mass index or Quetelet index is a value derived from th... View more

Your GP tells you that your Body Mass Index calculation puts you in the obese range. Or perhaps like me once I read a referral and in it is that word "obese". How demoralising! BMI is- "The body mass index or Quetelet index is a value derived from the mass and height of a person. The BMI is defined as the body mass divided by the square of the body height, and is universally expressed in units of kg/m², resulting from mass in kilograms and height in metres". So basically if you are short and large for your height your BMI will be high = obese. While it is a calculation that is accepted in the medical profession how does this help those of us that acquire a mental illness or are simply sad about being overweight? Well if you are like me, I leave the clinic more upset than when I walked in which takes me to the nearby bakery to swarm around some donuts to repair the shame. What is the ways we can overcome this problem? Here is my method- Doing the best you can with that old aged remedy, more exercise and less food consumption. Lets get that in perspective - eat healthier, limit junk food and walk daily. Accept you'll never be a slim person. This effects females more than males. Focus on you capabities not your restrictions Dont make your excess weight a bigger issue than life itself. Your personality, kindness, compassion etc is of greater importance BMI is a calculation for the benefit of those that dedicate their lives to helping others. It indicates to them that you need such assistance. Its purpose is not to shame. If your GP is slim, like most other slim people he/she might drop words that are offensive. Accept that if you were slim you might not relate to overweight people either nor our sensitivities. As a man women that are overweight can look attractive with how they dress but how they laugh with their bubbly personality - well I just want to cuddle them. Accept you have the capacity to be as attractive as anyone else. Discount the judgemental. We do this to people that dont understand mental illness or are cruel. We reject those that hold prejudicial views on race, sexuality and religion then stand proud and ignore them. Love animals. They love you back unconditionally Admire yourself for your achievements Order only one donut Keep physically active Love friends and family. Everyone adores affection. Ask people questions about themselves- they'll love you for that. Leave the BMI in your medical file at the clinic not in your mind. TonyWK

Isolated and struggling to find my place

replies: 2

I’ve lived in Australia 2 years, I’m 46,I work alone as a cook in early years child care.i did the same thing in UK, I had colleagues every day was fun, I enjoyed my job, now I hate it, hate cooking. I’ve very limited conversations with anyone, it’s ... View more

I’ve lived in Australia 2 years, I’m 46,I work alone as a cook in early years child care.i did the same thing in UK, I had colleagues every day was fun, I enjoyed my job, now I hate it, hate cooking. I’ve very limited conversations with anyone, it’s soul destroying. in my break I walk around the streets & at the end of the day I go home To my 11 yr old daughter who mainly sits in her room, then my partner comes home, he is a ward clerk so has no interest in having big conversations.I have no friends, no family here. My partners family don’t like me so I’ve not seen them since Xmas where I had to endure a full day in their company knowing they don’t care for me & apparently my partners friends think I am a bit much, which is possibly down to me having zero interaction with people for 95% of my life. I am socially awkward but when I get my confidence up then I’m too much for people, there is no happy medium, people just don’t take to me or want to be my friend, this has been happening all my life, I’ve had a few good friends in my life but nothing since been here, I talk to people briefly while out then I come away despondent because I know it won’t amount to anything, I friend request them on Facebook and that’s it, nothing more, I’m embarrassed to tell people I have no friends, so I sit at home and watch TV,scroll through Facebook to see what people in UK are doing then get upset. i used to love music, going to gigs and I am in a band and you would think that would create a social outlet but it hasn’t, I feel like quitting the band because while my partner gets people talking to him,no one talks to me, Im quite intimidating, nearly six foot with resting bitch face which doesn’t help and I do try and be mindful of that but obviously I’m not approachable. I did jewellery for a bit,genealogy but they are isolating hobbies, I joined netball but the girls were much younger,everyone has their own lives etc, so i packed it in. I don’t have much money so can’t afford a gym or to do a course.I can’t face going to meetups on my own which I’ve looked at. I can’t even afford counselling and went to a place where people were training to be counsellors for a cheap rate but I hated it, it made me feel worse, I was not brought up to be spiritual so counselling/self help books don’t help. I don’t answer the door or answer my phone if it’s a withheld number and I have zero retail therapy unless I do it alone. I’m becoming more and more internal. How do I move on?

I’m tired of everything.

replies: 2

I’ve recently started therapy again but I feel like I need to talk about how I’m feeling now. I am tired, of feeling like a disappointment, of feeling like everything I do is pointless and not good enough, like I’m a waste of space, a waste of people... View more

I’ve recently started therapy again but I feel like I need to talk about how I’m feeling now. I am tired, of feeling like a disappointment, of feeling like everything I do is pointless and not good enough, like I’m a waste of space, a waste of people’s time money and effort. I feel like I can’t physically or mentally do the much needed and important things I need to do, like uni assignments. Then when I don’t do them I feel even worst because I didn’t do the thing. I feel completely useless. I want to just sleep.

Mum of 7 a baby on the way

replies: 1

Hi I’m a mum of 7 an have 2 grandchildren an have just found out that I’m pregnant again..I’m not happy nor excited I don’t know how to feel about it.. my youngest is almost 2 so I just went back to work a few months ago an have been enjoying the adu... View more

Hi I’m a mum of 7 an have 2 grandchildren an have just found out that I’m pregnant again..I’m not happy nor excited I don’t know how to feel about it.. my youngest is almost 2 so I just went back to work a few months ago an have been enjoying the adult time again.. I really want my last to definitely b my last.. I’m very confused that I can’t bring myself to tell my friends an extended family.. I don’t want to b judged for the number of kids I have.. I feel it’s making me very depressed

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what should I do with my alcoholic and depressed partner

replies: 3