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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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The_Quiet_Rambler Completely Alone and Friendless
  • replies: 7

I realised a couple years ago that I have no real friends. Every single person I considered a friend only ever talked to me when I approached them. Only ever contacted me when they wanted something. They often say they'd love to catch up but are conv... View more

I realised a couple years ago that I have no real friends. Every single person I considered a friend only ever talked to me when I approached them. Only ever contacted me when they wanted something. They often say they'd love to catch up but are conveniently indisposed (or didn't see my messages) when I'm in town ... I spiraled after a event involving someone who I thought was a real friend. And I realised after that I have no friends. I was so miserable that I did something I never did before, I told everyone I was struggling and sought them out (as friends are supposed to be there for you right? I guess not if you were never their real friends to begin with it seems) ... and they all disappeared (some straight away, others took a month or two) ... until I was literally alone. This broke my heart. And I don't know what to do. I often walk by the man who made me realise this. Before my misery drove everyone away he was like my best friend. We'd catch up every week ... it was awkward catchups because we are both awkward people, but that's why I liked him so much. It was like we are both the same kind of outsider (but unlike me everyone seems to love him) ... but now he pretends he doesn't' see me when our paths cross. I saw him just yesterday, and he literally looked up at me, his face turned dark and than he looked away. I realise that this is my fault. I freaked him right out with my misery, when I realised I alienated him my last words to him was that I'd never bother him again but if he wanted to catch up I'm always here. That was probably 18 months ago. Occasionally he'll wave from a afar if he sees me, but mostly he pretends he doesn't see me. And this is devastating. He was my last friend on this crappy world. I've tried to move on. Make new friends, a new canvas. I have pretty bad social anxiety too, so anything to do with people is hard, but I try and it's the same old story. The best I can hope for is people humouring me ... I feel like one those chronically unlikable ladies who goes around talking to strangers cause nobody else will. I don't even think I'm unlikable, I'm awkward sure, and different, I have trouble talking. But I'm friendly, and have stack of interesting hobbies that other folk usually rave about. But I'm always "that" person, "that freak." I'm so lonely. Would like some advice on how to make a real friend. I'm on the autism spectrum btw ... so I'm sure that ads to my creepiness that repels the rest of humanity

shortone123 I don't know what to do
  • replies: 3

For the last 6-8 months I've felt really sad and miserable. I've constantly felt like everyone's against me and that they all hate me. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm good enough and if all this is my fault. i always seem to do something wrong, my par... View more

For the last 6-8 months I've felt really sad and miserable. I've constantly felt like everyone's against me and that they all hate me. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm good enough and if all this is my fault. i always seem to do something wrong, my parents are always mad and me. I tried taking to my dad but he was flying off to London the next day and we haven't talked about it since. I feel like if I bring it up to my parents again they would just ignore it. i know I need help but I don't know how. I don't know what to do

Bazleenus Is there anything i can do about weight?
  • replies: 2

So firstly i just thought i'd give you a quick rundown on whats happened etc Ive had sleeping issues for years, since about 17 years old.. And i never really understood why, and then they would go away and then they would come back, and anyway i star... View more

So firstly i just thought i'd give you a quick rundown on whats happened etc Ive had sleeping issues for years, since about 17 years old.. And i never really understood why, and then they would go away and then they would come back, and anyway i started a new job last year at the start of the year and i was getting really anxious at work, and panic attacks blah blah blah. I had one of those samsung watches, i knew i was anxious, but i was unsure how extreme. The watch was telling me my watch was getting up to about 190bpm and i was like wow, i dealt with it for a while and then it started getting more panic wise and i would make mistakes at work and my throat was getting tight etc etc Anyway, they tried to treat me with medication to help treat the anxiousness and the sleep and I literally put on 4kg in 1 week, my appetite when absolutely effing crazy, i could not stop eating. So i told the doctor no.. im not taking these (really self concious about weight) And then they gave me this other one, did the same thing, helped with sleep for about 3 days, stopped working for sleep and made me super hungry. So i said no again... Then, i got put on another medication.. Well... Then we uncovered a bipolar disorder that i have, that i didnt really know was a thing. Since then, i have been taking some other medications instead, and i feel like i dont eat? Like i literally feel like i dont eat as much as i should. But i keep putting on weight? I dont drink much soft caloric softdrinks, mainly pepsi max if i do. When i can actually go to work, i walk like 5-6km in a night, but the weight around the stomach still keeps appearing. I literally feel if i eat one thing bad, or one thing too creamy, or too cheesy that i just chuck it straight on? The point of this post... If there is anybody out there with bipolar battling this same issue, is there something that will help my situation that i can speak to my doctor about? Now that i actually notice my super fast stupid cycling, and im down... It is literally hard to even think about cooking or being healthy, or even washing clothes, and when i go high... I feel like im on amphetamines? And i dont really eat too much at all, and i clench my jaw like no tomorrow till the point it gets so sore, go fully hyperfocus... I have googled alternate medications for bipolar disorder, but EVERY single one says weight gain.. And im really honestly stuck between being unstable and manic, or being fat and even more depressed. Thanks

Hugh_Glass Starting all over again in my late 20s. Totally lost
  • replies: 4

I spent nearly a decade out of high school in the construction industry. I did everything "right". I finished my apprenticeship and found full time employment (or so I thought). After a while I realised that I was making far less than my peers. I con... View more

I spent nearly a decade out of high school in the construction industry. I did everything "right". I finished my apprenticeship and found full time employment (or so I thought). After a while I realised that I was making far less than my peers. I consulted with FairWork and found I was being severely exploited in a sham contracting situation. My boss had been having a field day due to my naivety. I started standing up for my rights and was ostracized and bullied by my boss and co-workers to the point where I started losing the will to be here and quit. I took another job out of sheer desperation and was coerced into another sham contract. This time I was fired and nastily abused on the phone after I said no to being ordered to climb on a roof with no safety equipment by another "sub contractor". I then had to threaten legal action and asked FairWork for assistance to get paid for my last week of work as the boss didn't pay me and stopped answering his phone. FairWork were useless and did nothing about anything. I'm now studying at uni in hopes of bettering my future but I can't work with a full uni schedule and AusStudy only covers my groceries and half of my utility bills. I'm living on a small amount of inheritance from my beautiful grandma who passed recently which I feel horribly guilty about and when that runs out, I'll have no money at all. Luckily my dad is helping to the best of his ability and I'm blessed with a beautiful and understanding GF but I don't know if she'll stick around if I can't even afford to buy food. I just don't really see the point in trying anymore. I feel like a failure and like society has massively failed me at the same time. It's like I'm a cog in the huge, dirty, stinking machine that is our economy and when I started squeaking too much I was taken out and thrown into the mud with the other rubbish. I don't talk to my friends anymore because they all became narcissistic robots who only care about competing with each other on social media to see who has the best holidays/stuff. It makes me sick. I don't derive enjoyment from the things I used to. My libido is gone. The few people I try to talk to (apart from my girlfriend) just tell me how "lucky" I am compared to *insert other disadvantaged group*. I feel so alone and taken advantage of. I have horrible social anxiety due to my low (non existent) occupational status for my age. I can't sleep most nights. I don't know what to do and I don't see any point in any of this.

Anothermonday Apathy to everything
  • replies: 2

It has been going on for about a year but everyday I feel more and more apathetic to the point where I simply don't care anymore. The excitements i used to have for work and the future is gone. My performance was slipping at work, so I have resigned ... View more

It has been going on for about a year but everyday I feel more and more apathetic to the point where I simply don't care anymore. The excitements i used to have for work and the future is gone. My performance was slipping at work, so I have resigned but I have no motivation to get up in the morning and try to find another job about a month ago. I barely stay in touch with my old friends and my hobbies no longer interest me. The only thing that I am still consistently doing is playing poker casually but I'm wondering if that is becoming an addiction. It just feels that the only time anyone speaks to me is when they want something and I am just fed up with everything. I'm not sure what to do next or where to turn or what to do next. I wouldn't say that I'm feeling anxious, more so flat and defeated and it ist just coming up to my mid 20's birthday.

Momsspagetti Recently lost my job. Not feeling good
  • replies: 3

I lost my job 4 weeks ago. I was told I was making mistakes and that they decided not to continue my employment. i left another job for this one. its been 4 weeks now I have had 2 interviews. 1 for a job that I didn’t want but I need a job. i feel us... View more

I lost my job 4 weeks ago. I was told I was making mistakes and that they decided not to continue my employment. i left another job for this one. its been 4 weeks now I have had 2 interviews. 1 for a job that I didn’t want but I need a job. i feel useless. I am bored. I don’t know what else to do.

CaptainSwing "Being Happy" by Andrew Matthews
  • replies: 3

This book was recommended by a psychologist to me as part of treatment - but it is terrible! I am not sure whether I am just reading it wrong or expected something different (I have never read a self-help book before) but I struggle to get past some ... View more

This book was recommended by a psychologist to me as part of treatment - but it is terrible! I am not sure whether I am just reading it wrong or expected something different (I have never read a self-help book before) but I struggle to get past some of the awful metaphors used i.e. planting a banana in Antarctica and being surprised you never harvest more bananas. Bananas don't have seeds that can be grown into trees, it makes me doubt whether any of the advice given is of any use at all. More examples: the book stresses that "people who expect to get sick get sick" but it's clearly a load of tosh, with no evidence given, but stated as some kind of fact as if projecting wellness onto yourself is going to protect you from bacteria or germs or whatever. Or that people that have accidents have some kind of self-harm death wish that regularly manifests itself by forcing you to climb rickety ladders. Anyway, I'm not sure how to go back to the psychologist and tell him the book is rubbish. He has been helpful so far, but spending $25 on some kind of drippy pile of unsupported anecdotes and drivel has annoyed the daylights out of me. Has anybody else read this book and got something useful out of it?

kestrel Trying To Get Help For Depression Feel Nobody's Listening
  • replies: 5

I've had longstanding depression since at least I was 16, but it wasn't actually diagnosed until I was 30. This latest dive into the depths doesn't seem to be going away. I had a visit from the acute mental health team a few days ago. When I said I d... View more

I've had longstanding depression since at least I was 16, but it wasn't actually diagnosed until I was 30. This latest dive into the depths doesn't seem to be going away. I had a visit from the acute mental health team a few days ago. When I said I didn't feel any better, the doctor said I seemed a lot brighter. An assessment from a 4 or 5 minute visit. I have to force my self to do most things, eat, go out all the normal stuff. Today I went to a music group to play the guitar. Came home and cried for about 2 or 3 hours because I don't fit in there or anywhere. These mental health team guys think they have the right to comment on everything. I had 2 painting I'd done on the wall. When I said I hadn't painted for over 2 years one guy said you've got paints on your desk so you must have been doing some painting. I suppose I was lying. Then one wanted to known why I had 3 guitars. I said I like guitars, when I really felt like saying is it any of your business. Playing the guitar is all I have left. At least I'm not being let down.

Diddybop I hate working but not my job, struggling with being an adult
  • replies: 1

Im a 25yo Youth Worker, which is ironic as Im struggling with being an adult. I hate having to work. I dont hate my job, I just hate having to have a job at all. I end up crumbling when Ive been working consistently and my depression kicks in and I s... View more

Im a 25yo Youth Worker, which is ironic as Im struggling with being an adult. I hate having to work. I dont hate my job, I just hate having to have a job at all. I end up crumbling when Ive been working consistently and my depression kicks in and I stay in bed for a week or two to "recover". Then I go back to earning my money until I crumble again. This is a monthly cycle on average. I didnt go to high school and I rarely went to primary school, so its not programmed into me to "have to" do things I don't want to do and I havent been able to reprogram that part of myself, only do my best despite it (which is all we can do.) I love being a "housewife" but it's not realistic in this modern economy and doesnt align with my dreams and aspirations (which revolve around travelling, art and investing so I have income without working) but those dreams and aspirations barely push me through, they're more like a thing that I remind myself I will never have if I don't do what I have to do. Perhaps a threat rather than a motivator. Before I got into work and study and more work, I was a carer for my mother so even then I was able to do what I wanted most of the time and be at home in my own world, without financial pressure. I still went through depression through all these other points in my life but I also had the luxury of staying in bed and not having to worry about ruining my life or money. I feel like deep down Im the same person who is at their best filling their day with whatever they please in solitude, even with the mental health issues, however now I have very real pressures of life and I have to masquerade around as a functioning adult. My partner and I both make OK money but the sad reality in this day and age, is that even with two "good" wages we're still only living within our means, meaning that I hardly see the reward from forcing myself to go to work because we are still not in a position to travel or invest, or even buy myself new clothes. Whilst I'm grateful that the rent is paid and we eat well, the fact that those other things are still so far out of reach is demotivating when I've already got the blues. Then there's the guilt for wanting more when there's others who wish they had what I do. I just wish I could go to work like a normal person without this inner turmoil. Even when I try to push through, eventually my anxiety pops out to take over and I will have a panic attack before a shift so draining that I end up needing a week off anyway.

Itsme85 Pregrant and Depressed
  • replies: 1

I'm 13 weeks pregnant with our no 2. Since the beginning of the pregnancy (even before I knew I am pregnant) I've been having a bad mood and easy to get angry, especially with our 4 yo son. This pregnancy is not planned. We decided to have only one k... View more

I'm 13 weeks pregnant with our no 2. Since the beginning of the pregnancy (even before I knew I am pregnant) I've been having a bad mood and easy to get angry, especially with our 4 yo son. This pregnancy is not planned. We decided to have only one kid, because we have no family or relatives here to help when you need them. I'm a bit angry when I know about the pregnancy, but also excited to give our son a sibling. Husband is happy since he wants big family. On my 1st appointment to GP, I told her that I feel angry and sad all the time and ask me whether I need a referral to see someone or not. I said, I will try to handle it. 2 weeks ago I met my midwife, and she run a test for me. The anxiety test was fine, but the depression test come as high. I'm a stay at home mom. I just feel tired all the time. The days just passed without doing anything, then I can't get a good sleep at night time. I feel so bad because I didn't manage the house as I should do. I just cook because I need to. Sometimes we only do takeaway and feed my family plus the baby with junk food. Sometimes my husband helps with cooking when he has time. He's a taxi driver with long working hours plus he also study in TAFE for cert III. I know he also tired and overwhelm with his own activities. The worst part is I keep angry to my son for everything. I know it's normal for 4 yo to not listen and you need to repeat yourself 100,000 times. But I don't have that passion anymore. I keep angry and screaming to him multiple times in a day. Yesterday he asked me to stop fighting with him with sad face. I don't want to be a bad mom to him. At night I will hug him and say I love you, but it's not fair for him to get all this anger from me. I can also see that now he's behaviour a bit change. When he doesn't like something he start to clench his fists and grit his teeth. I don't know what to do. Even when I think about it, I shouldn't complain about my life, everything is good and ok. Before pregnant I do exercise 2-3 a week, but at the moment doctor ask me to not do anything other than light jogging. The exercise before help me to be happy and alive. Please help me.