Hey everyone , recently it took me a while to finally realise I am
depressed . . I've had a really intense breakup with my girlfriend who
was seeing someone else towards the end of the relationship . It hit me
like a train I was dating her for 3.5 ye...
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Hey everyone , recently it took me a while to finally realise I am
depressed . . I've had a really intense breakup with my girlfriend who
was seeing someone else towards the end of the relationship . It hit me
like a train I was dating her for 3.5 years and was planning on getting
married to her . What also bothers me is the fact that I confided with
this girl , I told her everything about me , even my darkest secrets .
And I genuinely loved her and her family which I have never felt in any
other relationship. So relationship is done . Denial . What if she ...
No it's over ! How do I move on from this ? How am I supposed to to go
solo when I have been planning my life with this person ? To much
pressure . My life is spiralling out of control . I'm agitated , angry .
At my self , it's my fault I couldn't see it for what it was . My work
life is starting to get effected I was trying really hard to move on ,
trying to hang out with mates . And get my mind off things . Something
wasn't right though . I'm participating in usual fun activities but they
aren't doing a thing . Motorbike riding , gym , bushwalking, social
gathos. All these things I don't even want to get out of bed for .
Because I get no enjoyment out of anything anymore , just numbness . To
make matters worse she is now hanging out with my mates . By herself .
These are my friends that she only knew through me . So I feel betrayed
by my own mates . Anger . Depression , Numbness . I was sick of feeling
nothing . I started to use alcohol ,getting drunk every weekend . That
wasn't enough . Marijuana came into my life , which I am very guilty
about. It has actually temporary made me feel awesome. It's great ,
however it effects my work performance being in a cloudy haze . So now
I'm in a hole because I think I am getting over her and my "friends "
but now I have an addiction problem, because whenever I feel too
overwhelmed I find it to easy to just smoke up, and forget about real
life . I know something needs to change , I want to feel happy again , I
want to be able to enjoy activities again without the need for marijuana
or alchohol . I just hope some people can relate Hope that wasn't too
long to read I just needed to vent somewhere