Black Dog's SHADOW

[Pebblez]

GREETINGS! I'm a wife and a mum of two daughters (14&11), each with their own disorders, married to my husband for 22 years. I'm posting to raise awareness of a shadow I've journeyed with in my husband, in the hope that if you relate to my story, can gain understanding and be encouraged along the path that you tread. Some of you may have seen the shadow too, but it seems it is not yet widely known.

As I look back to pre-marriage times, these TRAITS have been consistent in my husband: very highly strung emotionally, sleep problems, consistently presenting fast mood swings over irrational reasons, always pessimistic, negative, fearful, insecure and plagued with socially based issues. A personality that is perpetually inconsistent, hard to understand and every 2-3 years, a complete emotional shut out would occur for 5 days (no more than 7). I've always known with my husbands adolescent environment there'd be a crash of some kind and that there was something not quite right, but as it is so common, I only became aware when a major depression episode MDD occurred. Within him there's been 5 yrs of MDD and a personality&faith change (they're the big ones) and with me pain, loneliness, being unloved, research and repetitive explanations have been said. After a 6yr total, he's back to pre-MDD in way, but I am still faced with "I'm normal, there's nothing wrong, I don't need help, I don't need to change!" and a conscious ignorance, avoidance and resistance towards issues that are obvious. I was constantly perplexed as to why, until during my research I came across what I've dubbed as the Black Dog's shadow!

DYSTHYMIA (pronounced dis-THIE-me-uh), is a chronic (long lasting), milder form of depression which now falls under the umbrella of Persistent Depressive Disorder (DSM-5). I found that Medical research state, that due to the chronic and subtle nature of PDD symptoms, sufferers believe that the depression is part of their character. PDD with MDD is difficult to treat, as sufferers accept the heightened major symptoms as an extension to who they are, which is beyond their control. When the episode has ended, however, they would return to their previous state of chronic, low-level depression. This is why myself, family, friends, co-workers/employers and circumstances external to my husband, are perceived by him as the CAUSE (not trigger) of his negative feelings. For him, there is no reason to change or seek help and yes, I'm still waiting for the penny to drop.

[TheGordianKnight]

This was a very interesting read and makes some points very worthy of investigation and discussion. Thank you for posting it, it is eerily similar to a pattern a family member has that we have never been able to pin down (as they won't see a doctor as they "have nothing wrong with them."

I truely hope this is remedied for you and your husband.

PLEASE remember to take care of your mental wellness too. It is just as important.