Hi all, I'm new to BeyondBlue and the whole concept of forums and
threads, but need some help to make positive change. My depression, and
unwillingness to act on, or face consequences of my actions/inactions
has broken down my relationship with the m...
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Hi all, I'm new to BeyondBlue and the whole concept of forums and
threads, but need some help to make positive change. My depression, and
unwillingness to act on, or face consequences of my actions/inactions
has broken down my relationship with the most amazing and supportive
woman whom I love so much. I'm not the person she met and fell in love
with 10 years ago. I've changed, I'm not sure if this is my environment,
depression sneaking in or what. I have mild to moderate depression, and
am also identifying other behaviours I'd like to kick. I have made so
many plans and promises to her that I just don't come through with,
sometimes it's just too hard, or I had the idea now it's her turn to
make it happen. She is a most caring and supportive person, this is
really not about her, it's about me acknowledging I have depression, and
working out how to live with it. I am seeing a psychologist whose
helping me to work out where I'm at, and where I want to be, so that's a
start. Approval seeking, is a behaviour I noticed recently when I
started working in a new place, doing the same job i've done for years.
I had to tell myself it didn't matter what the other guys thought of me,
just do your job to the best of your ability. This need to "fit in"
drove me to tears on more than one occasion. I think I've been doing
this in our relationship also, not saying or suggesting anything in case
they where wrong, or silly ideas or what I don't know. This behaviour
naturaly led to my partner making all the decisions which has been
exhausting for her, and addmitantly no good for me either kind of
subconsiesly contributing to my deppression. I think I've got over the
work thing, and am trying to be more decisive with my partner as this is
so much more important. This seems a really disjointed, however that's
been my thinking of late, can't really settle on one thing. Essentially
I need help, & advice how to accept that I have deppression, deal with
it, make changes, and build a relationship where i am the partner she
really deserves, not one she has to look after. Any advice would be
greatly appreciated