Is it normal to constantly want to"hurt" yourself during a particularly bad period of depression? I don't mean physically. Any way of sabotaging my future seems to be on the cards. This time it cost me a redundancy payout (20 years). Another time it was a split of my divorce settlement (I gave everything instead to my ex). Usually it is smaller, not financial, more a way of putting myself last somehow, others always first.
It's obviously some kind of martyr complex. Often others don't know about it, else I'd guess it was to make others feel sorry for me. I think perhaps it's because I have somehow come to like being hopeless?
Does anyone else have this? It has been extremely destructive to my life.
