Depression and loneliness. I feel so alone.

[BlueArt]

Hi everyone,

I’m not really sure how to even begin to write everything down but I’m struggling a lot. I have struggled with depression for a long time but it feels like it’s getting worse.

today was my last day at my job that I’ve worked at for 6 years. I wasn’t expecting people to cry over me leaving but I did think some people would care enough to come to my goodbye dinner after work. Barely anyone is coming and even some of those are maybes. I’ve worked with these people for so long and I really thought they’d put in the effort to come or at least say goodbye to me today, which they haven’t.

ive always been that person that people don’t seem to like. I don’t have friends, I’ve had one very short relationship and I’m 26. I just never seem to be able to form friendships. I feel so alone. I’ve tried joining groups and sports but I always end up being that person off to the side. Like I just never get included, I try to reach out but it just doesn’t happen.

I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so pathetic. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I just don’t want to be this alone forever. It hurts so much.

any advice is appreciated, I have no idea what I’m doing anymore.

[smallwolf]

hello.

I dont know what happened for your job to end after working there for 6 years. The way people look at jobs is probably different to what it was year ago, where people come and go at will now, or so it appears. And because very few people wanted to attend the dinner this taps into your sense of worth?

Part of me wonders how you would feel if people did go?

I wonder if you are an introverted person?

And that's fine.

communication, small talk, listening to others, engaging, showing interest - all necessary for relationships.

what sort of things do you like to do for fun? Maybe find a group to join?

listening to you if you want to chat.

[Sophie_M]

Hi BlueArt

Welcome back to the forums and thank you for sharing with us here today. It takes a lot of courage to share your story publicly, opening your heart and exposing some of your pain in order to reach out for support - but we're really glad you have.

We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling so alone and rejected. That can be such a painful place to be in and we want you to know that we hear you - and we just know that you will get some really supportive, non-judgemental advice from your peers here in the forums if you can give it a bit of time for your post to be found and responded to.

If you would like to talk to someone about it and get some support faster, please don't hesitate to jump on the phone and call to speak with one of our BB counsellors on 1300 22 4636, or via our webchat service even (just click here).

We hope that you find some comfort here on the forums today - and rest assured that there will be other's who read this post and will feel less alone in their experiences, knowing that someone else is experiencing something similar to what they are going through as well.

Please keep sharing your words on our forum, and join in on some other conversations and threads as well - you're very welcome here, and we're so glad you're here with us today.

Kind regards

Sophie M
 

[ChildHeart]

Hi there BlueArt! Mind if I offer my two cents (or maybe my "twenty" cents as we are of course, in Australia lol)?

I suffer from depression as well as anxiety so I know some of where you're coming from. Have you heard of black dog? It's a youtube video that describes depression and I was directed to it by an old therapist and found it helpful in the fact that it made me feel less alone knowing that others experience some of the same.

In regards to your job..I worked at my last job for almost 10 years and when I told my boss I was leaving he didn't even question it and just said "ok" without even looking at me as if it were nothing. No thank you for your years of service or anything. The most hours I did in one week was 72 so you can imagine how many hours of work I would have given that company when I worked there for so long. Anyway, the strange thing is.. (at least what I'm learning) is that we often tend to put our efforts and energy into things and people that don't give back. Maybe your colleagues' lack of is only showing their true colours and if that is true, then maybe you're better off? On the other hand, perhaps you may be pleasantly surprised and they will show up unexpectedly and find their own ways of saying goodbye to you and wishing you well. I hope it's the latter for you.

In terms of romantic relationships? Your special somebody is out there somewhere. We often get so caught up in age being a defining timeline and it's really got nothing to do with what happens and when. Try not to look around you and compare your life to others as I have found this to be unhelpful and at the end of the day, your path is yours and their path is theirs so why compare? (I'm much better at giving advice than using that advice for my own)

Friends come and friends go. The ones that leave your life probably weren't meant to be there in the first place, and the ones that stick around are the ones who are meant to be in our lives. I would much rather wait for the right ones that have friends for friends' sake. So hold on because there's one, two, three maybe four who knows how many people you will come across one day and you will look back and see that the wait for such good and genuine friends wasn't so bad after all. Besides, I came to quickly understand as soon as I got here on this site and the forums is that we are not alone and although we may not see each other face to face there's something here that all connects us.

Sending you a hug.

[Sophia16]

Hi,

Thank you so much for being so open here. That all sounds extremely tough to deal with. Feeling a sense of loneliness and sadness. You have been very strong in getting through all of it.

It is hard not having friends and support but just know the whole BB forum family is here for you.

When you say you try to reach out but it doesn't seem to happen, what do you mean by that?

Stay safe and i am always here to chat